So I'm still getting used to the keyboard (you know how laptop keyboards are more compact) and the touchpad mouse, since I haven't installed my wireless ones yet (for some reason, I never seem to hit the M key on this one hard enough), but: LIFE IS AWESOME. Also, I get to stay logged into everything (I cannot even tell you how happy this makes me), and I have all my pet programs back, or at least the ones I've remembered to go download so far (INCLUDING SEMAGIC, HUZZAH). I'm currently set up in the den with the dogs, rather than holed up in my room the way I usually would be, and I kind of love it.

My cold is still pretty gnarly; it's at that point where you can tell you're going to have to get snarflier before you get better, you know, as it progresses through the Stages of Phlegm, but I'm holding up. My nose is itching off my face and kind of hurts, plus the chest congestion and all, but I've had it worse.

I'm trying to get back to work now--had a day off, as it were, to freak out over the new laptop--now that I've successfully delivered 2012 in Fifteen Minutes and survived the New Moon preview on Wednesday. I'm not even going to pretend that New Moon in Fifteen Minutes is something Of Which We Do Not Speak, because we've all known since they greenlighted the movie the very day after Twilight was released that I would be doing it. So I'm working on that--couldn't sleep last night due to congestion, so sat up and wrote about six pages on it by hand (this is not all that much, though), and handwrote a bit more this morning. It's really intimidating, not just because I've got the Twilight one (which turned out pretty well) to live up to, but I've also got the last one I did--2012, of course--to live up to as well, since that turned out unexpectedly well. (Probably because writing these for five years with a determined focus on getting better at it has... well, in fact, gotten me better at it.) So I guess you could say that the problem with working on growing as a writer is that you have to keep growing, and sometimes you end up rocking in the corner and twitching a bit because of it. But really, my performance anxiety isn't as bad as it was last year, probably because I've got more time to wrestle with it. Please, let me somehow find a way to see an early preview of Eclipse next summer, I've been ever so good.

Speaking of which, I don't know that I've seen this posted anywhere:

Oh, and we'll be recording the new Made of Fail on Sunday, BECAUSE I HAVE A COMPUTER AGAIN AND I CAN.

P.S. I'm a Master Sparkler Taunter!



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: computers, health, m15m, made of fail, movies, new computer's name here, podcasts, twilight, writing
Current Mood: happy, if snerfy

This is Lizzie




Say hi, Lizzie




Lizzie says hi


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: computers, new computer's name here
Current Mood: excited

So I have a full-blown sinus blarg now, all in my ears and throat and chest, which explains a lot about the dizzy spells. Fnarr.

So! First of all! The experience of the early preview itself, aside from the movie: ( I HAVE SEEN THE SPARKLE AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE )


( THE MOVIE ITSELF )


( Philosophical ramblings )


In conclusion

@cleolinda: ICE-COLD MARBLE-SKIN BURN from @ebertchicago: http://tinyurl.com/yfd28cp

@cleolinda: RT @queenanthai: Okay, fine. FINE! Very truncated review of the Twilight Parody Porno here: http://tinyurl.com/yeb5lm2 GOD JUST KILL IT.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: actual sparkle motion, leaving the house omg, movie discussion, movies, o snap, philosophical ramblings, romance, sparkle motion, sparklemas, the lovely emily, twilight

2012 in Fifteen Minutes.

I'll have to go back and check, but I am pretty sure I did not make up a single thing in there.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: 2012, m15m
Current Mood: USA! USA!

So I've been having these really annoying dizzy spells lately


and after going through a mental checklist of what the problem could be, I'm starting to think that it's a combination of 1) a stealth sinus infection (I have had a cough for a while, even though I haven't really felt congested), 2) not eating enough (sinus ick makes me feel queasy, as does emotional stress, 3) probably not staying hydrated enough, and 4) said emotional stress, which is coming at me from several angles and is kind of pissing me off. As it turns out, this week and the week after are turning out to be the two busiest work ("work") weeks in a long, long time if not the entire year itself, with two internet pieces and the second e-book needing to be written, plus the movie itself tonight and the podcast on Sunday (which I am so looking forward to, but it IS another thing on my calendar, you know? And the laptop hasn't come in yet, angst angst fnarr etc.), and I would really, REALLY like everyone to quit dumping their bullshit on me. I am not directing this at any one person, Friends or Family Member(s) Who Might Somehow Be Reading This. And yes, it is completely selfish of me to say that my needs require that I not deal with your problems right now. But seriously: they do. Two weeks. That's all I'm asking. Just THIS week, even. Stop dumping your shit on me and maybe I'll stop needing a fainting couch, who knows.

What I really want right now is someone around to spoil and pet and baby me. Like... someone of the opposite gender. Because you know how it is--whichever gender you're into, there's something different about having someone thereof to take care of you, someone who's actually into you. I hate saying "I want a man around to take care of me," because it's not like that--it's like, sometimes I want to ride in from the battlefield and be sheltered and patched up and refreshed every once in a while, and then go riding back out to finish fighting my own battles. And I would do the same for whoever I was with. And I want shelter right now. I guess that's the thing--I've said this before, but I don't think of love as a happy ending; I think of it as a beginning. And I wish I could begin.

Exposure to Twilight is probably a bad idea right now, isn't it?

On a twinklier note, security is apparently going to be tight at this preview tonight, and they are going to search people for phones and confiscate them (tag and bag them to return to you afterward), because God forbid someone should try to capture the dazzle on film. What I really wanted to do was use the Voice Memo function on the iBella to record the audience screaming during the Attempted Sparklecide (it's the one scene slo-mo enough for me to know exactly when to hit record), because, seriously: best LJ audio post ever. Just post that, no title, no entry text, just the roar of sparkle-inflamed estrogen. And they would DENY me this. I am INFINITELY CHAGRINED.

Oh well. I'm probably going to end up sitting through endless wolfing seeing it again with other people, most likely my mother and aunt, who want to see "Robert" it as well, so maybe I can grab some audio at a less ~*special*~ screening.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: actual sparkle motion, chagrin, depression, health, iphone, sparkle motion, twilight, twitter, vampires
Current Mood: working

JESUS CHRIST Salon linked to my Twilight page GET IN THE CAR.

( Sparklemas approaches, to the chagrin of King Solomon )


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: crazy, dolls, fandom, movies, sparkle motion, sparklemas, this is going to end well, tonner, twilight, why god why, wtf

... on THAT OF WHICH WE DO NOT SPEAK:

I went on another photo safari (this seems to be a new Saturday morning tradition), this time at Hobby Lobby, a terrifyingly huge artsy-craftsy emporium. (The reason the photo safaris happen on Twitter is because you can take a picture on your phone and email it straight to TwitPic from there, which then appears automatically on your Twitter feed.) I mean, I spent fifteen minutes in that thing and I am ready to craft THE SHIT out of something. You take TLE there, he'll think he's died (again) and gone to heaven. Note on photos: we did not even get into any of the vertical aisles at the store. This is simply the shallow end of the pool.( Read more... )

Back to work. Apparently the best part of the movie (minus John Cusack's best line) is online completely legally. Enjoy.



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: 2012, books, christmas, copyright, cute, dogs, mail, movies, picspam, sam, scout, shelby, twilight

Oh my sweet God, no movie as stupid as 2012 has any right to be TWO HOURS AND THIRTY-EIGHT MINUTES. I drank HALF a smuggled 12 oz bottle of Coke (Tiny Coke, if you will), and nearly DIED. My bladder is BRUISED.

My mom's the disaster movie junkie--she hasn't seen a movie in the theater in six months (I think she last one she saw was Up), so I went for her sake. Man, I hate disaster movies. I worry about this stuff enough, you know? I'm not really into watching implausibly connected characters run and weep and do noble shit and die horribly for two hours (AND THIRTY-EIGHT MINUTES). I'm okay with watching shit blow up; I just don't want to watch the cast meeble on about it. And let me tell you, internets, shit does not start blowing up until FIFTY-SEVEN (57) minutes into the movie. If you think I give a shit about John Cusack's ex-marital problems, you are WRONG, Roland Emmerich. And even the next hour and a half has way too much wibbling about humanity. BLOW SHIT UP. BLOW IT UP NOWWWWWWWWWW. Seriously: go buy a ticket to this thing, walk in fifty-seven minutes late, watch John Cusack and family outrun an earthquake in a limo (because this part is THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER SEEN, at the very least the most awesome thing I have ever seen involving either an earthquake or a limo), and then after they get to Vegas, LEAVE. If you've seen Deep Impact and The Poseidon Adventure, you've pretty much seen everything else. In fact, you can probably just watch Dodge the Freeway in the trailer; I didn't watch it, but my mother says pretty much all the awesome stuff is in there, and the rest of the movie is just a game of Guess Who's Gonna Die (a winner is me!). I was also able to call not one but TWO ridiculous romances, because it was that kind of movie. Honestly, earthquake in a limo and Thandie Newton's French: best things in the movie. Everything else I laughed at until I was seized with urinary tract regret for the entire last hour.

(OMFG THE WOLFMAN TRAILER WAS SO AWESOME IT IS WHAT THE INSIDE OF MY HEAD LOOKS LIKE. I was seriously just sitting there all a-squee, clapping my fists [so it would be quiet!] chanting "WOLFMAN WOLFMAN WOLFMAN!!!!!!" and my mother was like, You are so weird.)

I also grabbed a few sheets of printer paper to fold up and stuff in my purse--turns out that you can just squeak by on six pages and the back of the first page if you take notes sparingly.

(THIS IS THE THING OF WHICH WE DO NOT SPEAK. WE DO NOT JINX IT. IT MAY STILL NOT HAPPEN.)



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: movie discussion, movies, my mother, the wolfman

I know people for whom Friday the 13ths are actually lucky; I am not one of them. But--knock on wood--so far, things are going pretty well.

( SPARKLEMAS COMES EARLY THIS YEAR )


BREAKING NEWS: SHIRT-ALLERGIC JACOB KEN DOLL. ARE YOU FOR REAL. WHAT IS THIS. I DON'T EVEN. FUHHHHHH.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: bad cat, barbie, dogs, dolls, movies, picspam, scout, sparklemas, the lovely emily, twilight

I just spent an hour on the phone with a reporter who wants to write an article focusing on the more disturbing aspects of New Moon, the ones that parents may not know about, and it was the best game of Horrify the Twilight Noob EVER. It may actually be the longest such game on record. She knew to ask about all the controversial points, but... not the entire width and depth of the horror, if you will. There was a lot of "Oh... wow." I apologized for going on at such length, but she did have a lot of informed questions about a number of plot elements--if nothing else, I give an interviewer plenty of material to work with. And a larger audience will now be made aware of rocking chairs. "You're probably the one who knows the most about it," she said, laughing. I... kind of don't know how to feel about that.

(I imagine it'll come out next week--probably run on the day the movie opens. I'll tell you more about who and what and where when it does. In fact, I may see if one of y'all can clip the article and send it to me or scan it. The Littlest Edward can totes scrapbook it for me.)

I was actually pretty complimentary about how the movies handle some of these elements, though. That said: while I highly doubt I would in any way be the focus of the article, this is going to be read by a wider, non-LiveJournal, probably Twilight-loving audience. They're only going to see my commentary on this specific angle, and not the more affectionate, even-handed snark. I am pretty sure that their outrage will be a complete novelty in my sheltered little corner of the internet. BRING IT. Because I totally won't read any of their responses and my journal doesn't have anonycommenting enabled. Have fun storming someone else's castle, kids!

Cleolinda Jones: Senior Sparkle Correspondent. HATERS TO THE LEFT.



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: haters to the left, interviews, sparklemas, this is going to end well, twilight
Current Mood: gleeful
Current Music: I am so going to get my ass kicked

So someone else has run off and reposted my work (this time, it's Twilight in Fifteen Minutes. NO DOGPILING, Y'ALL). I don't go looking for this stuff, because honestly, if I started trying to police the internet--which I did try for a little while, back when I was first writing these things--I would never, ever get anything else done. But I feel like once you've brought it to my attention--I don't know that legally I have to do anything; this isn't an issue of trademark, which has to be defended pretty vigorously; it's a simple matter of copyright flowing from the pen, as the expression goes. I wrote this, it is verifiably mine, and I have the right to decide who does and does not get to run off with it. So morally--perhaps, more accurately, emotionally--you feel like you're not supposed to let it go.

( The problem with this one is that the girl's gotten defiant )


ETA: Okay. She's apologized. As for you guys? I have finally read most of the comments, and while I said NO DOGPILING, most of y'all were admirably civil. However?

The authors onto you, BTW: http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/820888.html?#cutid1

Check out the number of commenters on that post - that's the number of people who hate you right now.

BAD FORM. You better hope I don't find out who that was.

Tags: let me apologize in advance, let me tell you internets, m15m, oh dramatize, oh hell no, plagiarism, tribulations

Mistaken for someone interesting, I have been interviewed at blogcritics.org. (We did it in October, so mentally replace "next month" with "this month.") In what is probably a first, I am actually asked about The Secret Life of Dolls a good bit. Also discussed: The Third Man, nineteenth-century fancrazy, and my newest "hobby."


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: books, dolls, interviews, m15m, movies, writing

Okay, you know what? I've held out for nearly three and a half months now, but I am nearly at my breaking point (even though we are now in the home stretch). I am SICK of not having my own computer to work on. There are huge disadvantages to sharing a computer that you just really don't even think of until you have to do it yourself. I HATE logging out of everything every time I walk away from the computer, because the hell I'm leaving my email accounts vulnerable to prying eyes. And on your average day? I need to be logged into LJ, JournalFen, Yahoo email, Gmail (with Reader and Documents), Twitter, Delicious for bookmarks, Pandora, a couple of message boards, and my file storage account; my life would be infinitely easier if I could just stay logged in. So I HATE dumping the cache and the cookies and the browsing history and even the SEARCH history if I so much as duck out for a glass of tea, and I HAVE to do it, because you know why? You know why? Researching the @#$%*&@ e-book footnotes, that's why. If I didn't, you'd go to the Google drop-down search box and get "bella's felted womb," "dead from coke," "edward lipstick," "gq motherfucker," "total eclipse sex scene," 5000 Twilight articles, and "twincest." And there is NO WAY I am letting my family know I spent that much time looking up shit about Twilight.

I can't do a whole hell of a lot on this computer either, since it's like eight years old as it is--in excellent condition, but it's only got 30GB storage, you know? You can infer from that what the processor thingamawhatever speed must be like. It just can't do a lot. It can't handle Skype, for example. And I don't have any of my pet programs (Semagic for LJ, TweetDeck, ACDSee photo organizing, and probably a ton of others I've forgotten because IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE USED THEM), because the computer either can't handle a given program or it can't handle them all together. And we THOUGHT it had Photoshop, but apparently not, and while I'm pretty handy on that, I apparently am too stupid to operate MS Paint. People keep telling me how to crop and I just. can't. manage it. And then I go back to Firefox and accidentally hit "home" instead of "new tab" and I lose my entire LJ entry draft, because whenever it tries to recover a "saved" draft, it gives me the previous entry I already posted. HATRED.

And then I can't really save images (no room, plus other people looking at my shit) or watch videos (I hate being walked in on while I'm trying to watch whatever weird-ass thing someone just linked on Twitter. Mostly I just don't have time because I'm under the gun to get anything done before someone else needs the computer), assuming I could get the video to work at all. Because I physically can't get time at the computer as much as I'd like, my Google Reader news items just sit and pile up, so every morning I have "1000+," and one day I cleared 600 items and STILL had 1000+. I keep having to star things I want to go back and use in the footnotes or save pictures from, and I am TIRED OF IT.

If I didn't have the iBella--which at least has a camera, an mp3 player, and apps for Twitter, Pandora and my email that I DON'T HAVE TO LOG OUT OF--I would have gone insane by now. The day I figured out how to copy-paste links on my phone, I nearly wept for joy. Even there, I can't really answer emails or LJ comments at any length--if it's going to be a short reply, I can tap it out with a minimum of head-meeting-wall, but y'all know how wordy I am. We get to more than two sentences and I just can't manage it; I have to wait to answer until I get to the (shared) (family) computer. And then I have to log into umpteen thousand things all over again but then someone else needs the computer RIGHT NOW and I have to dump everything and hope no one noticed that I was at that moment searching "vampire sex toys." Oh, and blip.fm just doesn't work on the iPhone at all. RAAAAAAAGE.

Only one more week until [New Computer's Name] arrives. I will console myself with a peppermint chocolate chip milkshake from Chick-fil-A, I think.


ETA: THE MILKSHAKE MACHINE IS DOWN

WHY GOD WHY


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: computers, first world problems, iphone, new computer's name here, rants, tribulations, twilight, why god why, wtf

Depression, I have often said, is like an influenza of the soul. A spiritual hamthrax, if you will. I has it. Do not want.

It's actually starting to worry me a little, the intensity of this go-round--it's not the usual stone-cold ennui. Normally I'm not this bad off until after New Year's (well, except for the pity party I throw myself every year in the weeks leading up to my birthday), and, again: that's more of a seasonal apathy-funk. This involves a lot of dread and distress and, at times, actual panic involved. I have to think this is because things are just generally bad around here at the moment, and have been for a good while now. Two different family members are having job-related crises, for example. I'm having performance anxiety in terms of trying to write, I don't have a dependable place to work, I'm just generally very unhappy. But it's taking on a hysterical edge that makes me uncomfortable--I keep having urges to act out in some way. I don't mean harm myself or anyone else; I mean, like, throw a gigantic melodramatic fit du shit. I know I had that minor meltdown where I started throwing shit earlier this summer, but that is the ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE I have ever done anything like that. So I'm not used to having the urge to, like, flounce from the internet for the hell of it or something. And that's why I'm sitting here talking about it so calmly, because I feel like the only way to combat irrationality is with detachment. Take an overview of the thing, recognize what you're doing, shove it into the light of day. So... yeah.

(By the way, laptop has been ordered; money has cleared checking account. It will take about two weeks from November 3rd for Dell to build and ship it, what with the custom art and the crazy-ass 17" facial recognition screen. I don't even know. I spent a ridiculous, extravagant amount of money because I could, and it felt GOOD.)

A little Twi-spam for the hell of it, since Sparklemas is fast approaching:

( T-REX, VAMPIRES CAN HAVE KIDS AND LITTLE DINOSAUR VAMPIRES SOUNDS PRETTY CUTE TO ME )


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: depression, do not want, makeup, movies, sparklemas, tour of terror, twilight, twitter, web comics, wtf

So I heard this song on Pandora and the chorus got stuck in my head, so finally I went to iTunes and bought it. (By the way--if you buy a song on your phone, how do you get it over to the iTunes on your computer? Because I'd really like for the sync process to not erase it.) So I'm sort of head-tossing and shoulder-dancing along with it while I'm writing in my journal like the thirteen-year-old I so entirely am. You know, as you do. The lyrics were a bit creepy in an obsessive/submissive way-- ( ... wait )

The last week or so has been jam-packed with Do Not Want, so I'm going to link you to all of it so that everyone else, in turn, can stop sending the links to me.

Sugar Daddy Ken. This is absolutely a real Mattel product. They claim the dog's name is Sugar, and thus Ken is "Sugar's daddy," but I think we all know what's going on here. Also: They AGED the Ken's face. I didn't even know you could DO THAT.

A closer look at/review of Sparkle Ken. I think Sugar Daddy Ken might be interested in this.

The Succu-Dry. Not safe for work or, I suspect, penises. That said, the combination of wordplay and vulgarity has resulted in the most magnificent product name I have ever seen.

The Panties. Not safe for brains. Do not click this link. I am so incredibly serious. Do not click this, you have so much to live for. But I have to post it so people will stop sending it to me. Yes, it's worse than Bella's Felted Womb. It will destroy your faith in whatever deity you do or do not believe in. Let us never speak of this again.

And finally, in a revival of our beloved Uwe Boll Slot: Uwe Boll. Darfur. Actual rape victims. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong!


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: actual sparkle motion, barbie, dolls, i am never making it up, i don't like people anymore, movies, music, music discussion, twilight, twitter, wtf

The new Made of Fail episode is up!

From litlover12 , a good cause: "A friend and I are raising money to buy classic books for schools in the Philippines that lost all theirs in the typhoon. You can read about our efforts here. If you could find a way to give this a mention on your LJ, we'd be most grateful! Thanks very much."



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: books, made of fail, podcasts

So today is my journal birthday (six years old!). Also: HALLOWEEN. Wish I felt more celebratory. I felt pretty horrible all week, but then I cheered myself up with a Twitter-spamming errand-shenanigans photo safari this morning (uh... sorry about that, Twitfolk). It went like so:

( You're in Honeydukes? )



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: batman, christmas, drinkage, halloween, makeup, mmmcake, om nom nom, picspam, tea, twilight, twitter

I'm having the kind of day where I hope I'm coming down with something, because at least that would explain the tiredness and the general woozy feeling. (Although, also, I hardly slept last night. Not sure why.)

Grey overcast day, although with a nice rain-bearing breeze. I was sitting outside for a while, except that said rain was, in fact, eventually borne in. Cinnamon toast a while ago. Trying to get into drinking hot tea, just because I think it might be comforting, or at least more interesting than iced tea while I'm working. Lady Grey and a vanilla chai so far. I used to drink a lot of herbal tea in college, but I've come to think that I really just like black teas the best. I usually drink iced tea without any lemon or sweetener (although I do like both; I just drink too much to go sweet with it), so I'm used to the taste of the tea itself.

(The cat is totally just snacking away on one of the houseplants in the windowsill.)

I don't know. It's just one of those days where I want to curl up and wallow and do nothing, but I know I don't have time for that.



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: bad cat, depression, drinkage, tea
Current Mood: working

I have a few links I want to talk about, but I feel too scattered at the moment to really pull those together. I will say, in terms of working on the "Vampires" e-book, that I sat down with a calendar and started working backwards from dates that are already set in stone:

1) New Moon comes out on 11/20 or somewhere around then, I don't know. That weekend, something.

2) My understanding is that we're going to record a podcast (not specifically about New Moon, but it will help to have seen it) that Sunday, 11/22.

3) I don't like to put out Movies in Fifteen Minutes entries until the Monday after a movie has come out, at the earliest--reader statements like "Now I don't have to see the movie!," while well-intended, are probably not going to endear me to whichever Studio Powers That Be. So I want to at least give any given movie a full weekend, since nowadays that's the most important time period financially anyway. SO MY POINT IS, I'm assuming that I can't not do "New Moon in Fifteen Minutes," so that would go up no earlier than 11/23.

4) I want to give myself at least a week of rest between the e-book and the Fifteen Minutes. Therefore, working backwards, I would want to have "Vampires" on Lulu by 11/16.

5) That's two and a half weeks or so from now. I know a lot more about the process of actually "publishing" the e-book now--how to convert the wonky footnotes to PDF (or who I need to do that for me, rather), how to navigate Lulu, and so on. But I would still like to give myself a week of padding to take care of problems, wait on people to get back to me on certain issues if necessary, do my obsessive proofreading, so on and so forth.

6) Therefore, I need to have a readable draft of "Vampires" by 11/9.

7) That's eleven days from now.

8) I've never made a deadline in my LIFE.

9) I did 90% of the work on Van Helsing and Dracula last year, though, when I was doing the previous, longer, more complicated incarnation of the e-book. It's mostly Twilight I'm dealing with right now. I hesitate to say "I can totally do this," in a Famous Last Words kind of way, but theoretically: I can totally do this.

10) Oh God I totally can't do this.

So basically, that's what's going on at the moment--I'm trying to work myself into an It's Go Time, Bitches mindset on the front end of the process and have plenty of emergency padding on the far end in case shit happens, because you know it totally will. I should probably refrain from testing Twilight merchandise during this time, in fact--sweetdragon tried some assorted Twilight chocolates the other day and they nearly killed HER.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: dracula, m15m, twilight, vampires, van helsing, writing

So here's what happened with my phone: that last picture of the teacup, the one with the blueberry-colored New Moon Red tea in it, was taken 0.85 seconds before the phone slipped out of my hands and plunged directly into the cup. I let out a great shriek and whipped it out so fast that it was like the phone simply fell in and bounced out ("FIVE SECOND RULE! FIVE SECOND RULE!!!!"). Sister Girl (who admits to heckling me right before it happened) put on a face of pure shocked :O, like someone had just been shot (she's lost a number of iPhones to the liquid element herself) and ducked behind the fridge door ("I CAN'T LOOK!"). So I dried the phone off in a panic and even tried to suck liquid out of the bottom of the phone, since it had fallen in straight down, which gave the whole procedure something of the air of CPR ("Stay with me! *huff huff* STAY WITH MEEEEEE").

And then ( The man who showed up had the most magnificent... )


And finally, from tasterainbows: Artist sued by manufacturer stealing his work, and if he runs out of funds to fight it, he'll lose by default?



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: appropriate responses to bad situations, asshaberdashery, batman, conversations with my mother, copyright, iphone, movies, my mother, my sister, onoz, tea, tribulations, twilight, wtf