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SAG Awards #2
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cleolinda
Ladies and gentlemen! Julianna Margulies a beigish non-color and Bryan Cranston! Also, sometimes funny people are married to each other. What? The phone rang and I missed it.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
ALEC BALDWIN / Jack Donaghy - “30 ROCK” (NBC)
TY BURRELL / Phil Dunphy - “MODERN FAMILY” (ABC)
STEVE CARELL / Michael Scott  - “THE OFFICE” (NBC)
JON CRYER / Alan Harper  - “TWO AND A HALF MEN” (CBS)
ERIC STONESTREET / Cameron Tucker - “MODERN FAMILY” (ABC)

Cheers for a weeping Michael Scott clip and for Eric Stonestreet, shouting "STELLLLLLAAAAA!" in his clip. Winner: Alec Baldwin, who... was facing a "Future Jack" in a wackadoo white wig and a neon-piped suit? Jon Cryer bites the inside of his cheek manfully, knowing that he cannot match Future Jack so long as his show still has a laugh track. Baldwin squeals, "oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my gooooooood!" This is, by the way, the full, correct pronunciation of "omg." Baldwin thanks the 30 Rock writers copiously, and also mentions that he was asked to be the ambassador of the SAG Foundation (UNION! UNION!) and their literacy program, which is nice.

Please welcome! Regina King in purple and Kyle Chandler in meaningless actress factoids! Out in the audience, Greg Kinnear is shown to be perturbed. I don't know. We are told that someone, I missed who, played Cookie Monster at children's parties. Maybe I'm a little perturbed now too.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
JULIE BOWEN / Claire Dunphy - “MODERN FAMILY” (ABC)
EDIE FALCO / Jackie Peyton - “NURSE JACKIE” (Showtime)
TINA FEY / Liz Lemon - “30 ROCK” (NBC)
SOFIA VERGARA / Gloria Delgado-Pritchett  - “MODERN FAMILY” (ABC)
BETTY WHITE / Elka Ostrovsky - “HOT IN CLEVELAND” (TV Land)

(I like Julie Bowen's drapy burgundy/red dress, though.)

Winner: A shaken Betty white in a yellow-cream pantsuit, seemingly not understanding that people are going to keep giving her awards as long as she continues to be effortlessly entertaining at the podium. 

@mikeryan: "I like Betty White as much as the next person but, come on, this is ridiculous," I would have said if I cared about the SAG Awards.

Tina Fey claps gamely; Julie Bowen grabs a wineglass. "Oh my dears, my dears... I don't think they can read. I think they made a terrible mistake," Betty White says, insisting that the nomination "belongs to four of us" (her costars) although she is "keeping this [award]. I'll let them see it..."

Please welcome! Jessica Chastain in simple dark blue! I like. A special note of appreciation to all the branches of the Screen Actors Guild (UNION!). Oh, I should add: Final ‘Harry Potter’ Movie And HBO’s ‘Game Of Thrones’ Win SAG Stunt Awards. 

What is this montage about? Casting directors? Local actors? People who do a very good and important job even though I have no idea what we're talking about (sincerely, my bad).

Please welcome! Kyra Sedgwick in red and Kevin Bacon in skinny tie and George Clooney whispering to someone in the audience. PAY ATTENTION, SIR, I AM ABOUT TO DROP SOME TEAL DEER IN THIS HOUSE:

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
30 ROCK (NBC)
SCOTT ADSIT / Pete Hornberger
ALEC BALDWIN / Jack Donaghy
KATRINA BOWDEN / Cerie
KEVIN BROWN / Dotcom
GRIZZ CHAPMAN / Grizz
TINA FEY / Liz Lemon
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER / Frank Rossitano
JANE KRAKOWSKI / Jenna Maroney
JOHN LUTZ / Lutz
JACK MCBRAYER / Kenneth Parcell
TRACY MORGAN / Tracy Jordan
KEITH POWELL / Toofer

THE BIG BANG THEORY (CBS)
MAYIM BIALIK / Amy Farrah Fowler
KALEY CUOCO / Penny
JOHNNY GALECKI / Leonard Hofstadter
SIMON HELBERG / Howard Wolowitz
KUNAL NAYYAR / Rajesh Koothrappali
JIM PARSONS / Sheldon Cooper
MELISSA RAUCH / Bernadette Rostenkowski

GLEE (FOX)
DIANNA AGRON / Quinn Fabray
CHRIS COLFER / Kurt Hummel
DARREN CRISS / Blaine Anderson
ASHLEY FINK / Lauren Zizes
DOT MARIE JONES / Coach Beiste
JANE LYNCH / Sue Sylvester
JAYMA MAYS / Emma Pillsbury
KEVIN McHALE / Artie Abrams
LEA MICHELE / Rachel Berry
CORY MONTEITH / Finn Hudson
HEATHER MORRIS / Brittany Pierce
MATTHEW MORRISON / Will Schuester
MIKE O’MALLEY / Burt Hummel
CHORD OVERSTREET / Sam Evans
LAUREN POTTER / Becky Johnson
AMBER RILEY / Mercedes Jones
NAYA RIVERA / Santana Lopez
MARK SALLING / Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman
HARRY SHUM, JR. / Mike Chang
IQBAL THEBA / Principal Figgins
JENNA USHKOWITZ / Tina Cohen-Chang

MODERN FAMILY (ABC)
AUBREY ANDERSON-EMMONS / Lily
JULIE BOWEN / Claire
TY BURRELL / Phil
JESSE TYLER FERGUSON / Mitchell
NOLAN GOULD / Luke
SARAH HYLAND / Haley
ED O’NEILL / Jay
RICO RODRIGUEZ / Manny
ERIC STONESTREET / Cameron
SOFIA VERGARA / Gloria
ARIEL WINTER / Alex

THE OFFICE (NBC)
LESLIE DAVID BAKER / Stanley Hudson
BRIAN BAUMGARTNER / Kevin Malone
CREED BRATTON / Creed Bratton
STEVE CARELL / Michael Scott
JENNA FISCHER / Pam Beesly Halpert
KATE FLANNERY / Meredith Palmer
ED HELMS / Andy Bernard
MINDY KALING / Kelly Kapoor
ELLIE KEMPER / Erin Hannon
ANGELA KINSEY / Angela Martin
JOHN KRASINSKI / Jim Halpert
PAUL LIEBERSTEIN / Toby Flenderson
B.J. NOVAK / Ryan Howard
OSCAR NUÑEZ / Oscar Martinez
CRAIG ROBINSON / Daryll Philbin
JAMES SPADER / Robert California
PHYLLIS SMITH / Phyllis Lapin-Vance
RAINN WILSON / Dwight Schrute
ZACH WOODS / Gabe Lewis

And the Actor goes to! The cast of! Modern Family! Again, the announcer informs us! I kind of want to start watching it just for Sofia Vergara. A young boy (again, don't watch it, couldn't tell you) steps up to announce, "I think it was the late great W.C. Fields who said, 'Never work with children and animals.' Well, he can kiss my--" It's clearly a scripted bit where the kids and the adults take turns to pull this kid back and pretend like he's comically, uncontrollably mouthy--oh, wait, aren't these the folks who had a prepared English/Spanish bit at the Globes right when the sound on my TV died for like ten minutes?

@nprmonkeysee: I like the cast of Modern Family very much, including the kids. But that speech? No. Really no.

Well, at least they planned something instead of just babbling on for ten minutes, I guess?

Ladies and gentlemen! Glenn Close and Kenneth Branagh in CLASS. It used to be that the lines between TV and movie actors were never blurred, but now they're all very happy to get long-term paychecks and decent writing! (They may have only said that in their hearts.) I wonder how career "TV actors" feel about the movie stars sucking up all their roles.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
DIANE LANE / Pat Loud - “CINEMA VERITE” (HBO)
MAGGIE SMITH / Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham - “DOWNTON ABBEY” (PBS)
EMILY WATSON / Janet Leach - “APPROPRIATE ADULT” (Sundance Channel)
BETTY WHITE / Caroline Thomas - “HALLMARK HALL OF FAME: THE LOST VALENTINE” (CBS)
KATE WINSLET / Mildred Pierce - “MILDRED PIERCE” (HBO)

Winner: Kate Winslet, in Couldn't Be Here Tonight! Emily Watson claps lightly, dourly.

Please welcome! Octavia Spencer, Emma Stone in foofy black, and Viola Davis in low-cut white with a montage from The Help, or, as trollprincess put it, Thanks for the Civil Rights Movement, White Lady!

Ladies and gentlemen! Zoe Saldana in loose white and sparkly silver and Armie Hammer in quasi-mullet ducktail hair!

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
LAURENCE FISHBURNE / Thurgood Marshall - “THURGOOD” (HBO)
PAUL GIAMATTI / Ben Bernanke - “TOO BIG TO FAIL” (HBO)
GREG KINNEAR / Jack Kennedy - “THE KENNEDYS” (REELZ CHANNEL)
GUY PEARCE / Monty Beragon - “MILDRED PIERCE“ (HBO)
JAMES WOODS / Richard Fuld - “TOO BIG TO FAIL” (HBO)

Winner: Paul Giamatti, in Couldn't Be Here Either, as everyone looks around questioningly! "I'm going to keep his award," volunteers Hammer.

Please welcome! The President of the Guild (UNIONNNNNN!!). God bless, but I'm going to take this opportunity to proofread what I just wrote. Okay, I'm back. Historic moment of unity at hand? The merger of SAG and AFTRA? "Of course, the final decision is in the hands of members BUT NOW LET'S GET BACK TO THE AWARDS," he basically says, which made me laugh.

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I'm so glad you explained what happened with the Modern Family cast because I saw a couple of people on tumblr mysteriously say "Well, they're never getting awards again after that."

YAAAAY KATE WON SOMETHING!!

Also does anybody know if Benedict Cumberbatch is there?? PLEASE BE THERE PLEASE BE THERE PLEASE BE THERE.

Oh crumbs, I missed Kyle Chandler!? I knew I should've turned this thing on. :-(

Yes, yes, Betty White is an old woman who says dirty things and this is somehow hilarious. WE GET IT, HOLLYWOOD.

Modern Family: Come for Sofia Vergara, stay for the nonstop hilarity.

For whatever it's worth, I've been watching sitcoms all my life and Modern Family is the funniest show I have ever seen. It's funny because it's relatable; virtually every character reminds me of someone in my own family, including myself.

Suffice it to say, my unsolicited advice to you is give it a few weeks and I think you will not be sorry.

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