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Oscar liveblog #7
msauvage purple
cleolinda
Billy Crystal: "I have this gift where I can look at anyone in the audience and tell you what they're thinking." I literally groaned out loud, y'all. I could not stop myself. WHY DON'T YOU TELL US? Brad Pitt is thinking about six parent-teacher conferences. Morgan Freeman is mentally reciting March of the Penguins with a little "ANDY DUFRESNE WAS MY FRIEND" thrown in. George Clooney is fretting that he did not know the opening montage "kiss" was being filmed.. A ruddy, badass Santa (quoth @SmartBitches) Nick Nolte: "RRRRRARRRRRRGHHHHHAHHHHHH." Uggie the dog: "If I had 'em I'd lick 'em! If I had 'em I'd lick 'em!" I lost a solid two minutes of my life to that.

A GIANT BOOK OF MUSIC ARISES, MONOLITHIC, FROM THE STAGE AS A VAST BEJEWELED BEAD CURTAIN GLITTERS AGAINST THE DARK OF NIGHT. "Eh," says Crystal.

Please welcome! A glam Penelope Cruz in a slate blue-grey color and Owen Wilson in totally stoned!

Music (Original Score)

    "The Adventures of Tintin" John Williams
    "The Artist" Ludovic Bource
    "Hugo" Howard Shore
    "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Alberto Iglesias
    "War Horse" John Williams

Winner: Ludovic Bource, who has no formal music training, sez Announcer Lady! "Wow," he says, and something about the Power of the Music, and I pretty much have no idea what else. "I thank you for your chair"? And je t'aime to his wife.

Please welcome! Will Ferrell, Zack Galifianakis, their white tuxedos, and two giant pairs of clanging cymbals! Galifianakis mispronounces his own name. "One song tonight will join previous winners 'When You Wish Upon a Star,' 'Moon River,' 'The Way We Were,' and 'It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp.'" But they will definitely not be performed. CLANG!

Music (Original Song)

    "Man or Muppet" from "The Muppets"
    Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
    "Real in Rio" from "Rio"
    Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown; Lyric by Siedah Garrett

And then there is a protracted bit of clanging cymbal wrestling to free up Ferrell's hands, and it's the most entertaining thing that has happened so far, AND THAT IS NOT SAYING MUCH.

WOOOOO BRET MCKENZIEEEEEE! YOU ARE THE MOST TALENTED MAN IN THE ROOM (depending on the room)!

Theater attendants in old-fashioned aqua bellhop-style uniforms are handing out... popcorn? How is it only 9:20?



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Prettttttty sure if the camera hadn't rather quickly panned around we'd have had an, er, nice shot of Angie's goods there

Flight of the Concords!!! Loved the Jim Parsons sighting in the Muppet clip.

Oooo, Angie!!!

Ditto on the Jim Parsons thing.

THE DEAN WON AN OSCAR.

God I love Jim Rash.

Jim Rash? Where! For what? Damn, I must have blinked.

He was one of the writers of "The Descendants." He spent half the time posing sexily on the stage a la Angelina Jolie. It was AMAZING.

I prefer to believe that he won for Time Desk.

When did Angelina Jolie turn into a walking skeleton? How the hell did I miss that at the Golden Globes, or has she lost 20 pounds since then?

Y'know, I'm happy for Bource, but... John Williams. JOHN MOTHERFUCKING STAR WARS WILLIAMS. I think he should just automatically win always. Because he's amazing.

except he's retired about 3 times, which is a little irritating.

How dare he! He's not allowed!

Scorsese Drinking Game!

cuz my right eye is starting to twitch every time they hit that electronic whang.

THIS. THIS. THIS!!! ;asldkfjas;lghasl;dfkj!!!!

OK, the tiny cleavage vodka bottle chugging at "Scorsese!" was amusing.

ETA: BTW, what is up with the band in the balconies. Have they always done that?

Edited at 2012-02-27 03:47 am (UTC)

Regions that have gotten shoutouts: Italy, Ireland, Pakistan, Alabama, Louisiana.

Oh my gosh, I just read about Saving Face...I want to throw up.

That is EVIL!

Can that be our next internet worldwide project? We get these misogynistic assholes who throw acid on women thrown in jail forever?

Wtf? I think it's the 21st century and then I seriously think...well, maybe not...

It does make you question whether we, as a human civilization, have truly advanced.

Again I haven't seen any of them so I shouldn't really judge, but I gotta say, "the award for best animated short goes to: the one that looks like something old people would like!" Yay academy! :/

Edited at 2012-02-27 03:50 am (UTC)

OMG don't judge. Morris Lessmore is *amazing*. It perfectly captures how people love and interact with books. But in convenient movie form.

"YOU ARE THE MOST TALENTED MAN IN THE ROOM (depending on the room)!"

Win!

(he is definitely in the top three)

Edited at 2012-02-27 05:55 am (UTC)

Realizing BRET MCKENZIE had just won an Oscar was about as excited as I got during the whole thing. Then I got confused wondering where the heck Germaine was.

The very first words out of my mouth when they announced that Bret McKenzie had won for "Man or Muppets" were OMG, FIGWIT WON AN OSCAR!

LotR will be with us, always. :)

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