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So I saw Breaking Dawn (Part Two, Some More, Whatever)
twilight lolcat
cleolinda
@cleolinda: #leavingthehouseomg #sparkledammerung

@cleolinda: These gifs express my feelings on the bittersweet ending of the Twilight movies.

@cleolinda: An hour early was not early enough. Line all the way through the building to the back door. Forgot one does not simply walk into Twilight.

@cleolinda: The line has now doubled all the way back around to the front. #sparkledammerung

@cleolinda: FRONT ROW RAILING SEAT ACHIEVED. ONLY MINOR CASUALTIES. IN TRENCHES WITH PRETEENS. #sparkledammerung

@osheamobile: RETURN WITH YOUR SCRAPBOOK OR ON IT

So I was actually planning to go see Skyfall with my mother Friday night (my grandmother had an unexpected surgery last week and we ended up not going last Friday), but then, on the spur of the moment, she decided that Skyfall was maybe too long for a 7:30 pm showing, so why don't we just go ahead and see Breaking Dawn, since it's only two hours, comes on half an hour earlier, and I have to write that thing anyway? Yeahhhhh the line was so long it went all the way to the back of the building, then snaked around and doubled back to the front. We happened to get there at six, when it was only at the back of the building still. My mother had never witnessed this kind of thing before (and this wasn't even a midnight showing, mind you), and immediately got Line Claustrophobic. Also, really pissed off at people breaking in and not respecting the lineness of the line. (I started telling her veteran war stories of the New Moon preview.)

For some reason, Twilight movies have always been Srs Bsns in Birmingham; no matter what day or time I've gone to a showing, the atmosphere is always more super-concentrated churchlike than anything. We did get good screams at the really key moments, and I was sitting next to the Vestavia Branch of the Emmett Cullen Fan Club (Junior Division), but it wasn't wall-to-wall pandemonium like other correspondents have reported. It's also funny in the right places (this may be why I've been told by multiple people that it feels like a filmed version of my recaps--not that anyone read them, but that Bill Condon and Melissa Rosenberg thought the same things were funny that I did) (also, because I was never making it up). Watching reactions roll in on my Twitter, I'm seeing a lot of "I actually liked this movie" and "more fun than the other four combined" (and "OMG CLEO AND DAYNA WILL LOVE IT"). I had also heard that the movie goes totally off the rails at the end and that there is a 10-15 minute stretch where, by several published accounts, audiences do nothing but SCREAM CONTINUOUSLY. A word about this part: the way I kept hearing it phrased, I started trying to think of creatively batshit plot developments, and thus was a little disappointed when Renesmee did not, in fact, give birth to a litter of werepuppies and Charlie didn't burst in with guns blazing and and the Volturi didn't eat all the high school kids and Alice didn't wear Aro's face as a jaunty beret. (I have really, really high batshit standards, people.) As it turned out, I had read an article on the MTV movies blog months ago that very casually mentioned that they had shot a [spoiler] sequence. [Spoiler] even [spoilered his spoiler]! [Actor who plays Spoiler] thinks we're going to love it! And I thought it was just going to be some little [spoiler]; I didn't realize it would be the Big Finale. So the Scream Section starts, and I'm like... WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF SPARKLE IS HAPPE... oh. So I was all [spoilered] but also knew it was going to be [spoilered] in the end, and so I wasn't as freaked out as the rest of the audience. And, let me tell you, I was sorely disappointed that I didn't have something new and utterly wacked-out to discover. I wanted to be a Twilight Noob just one more time, you guys! But it was not to be.

So what I'm saying is, don't tie yourself in knots trying to be imaginative. It's just that shit gets real, as they say, in ways you do not expect a Twilight movie to get real.

(Dayna, do we have a sound clip of me rubbing my hands together evilly?)


SHORT VERSION:

@christylemire: My review of the shockingly entertaining TWILIGHT finale. We are all Renesmee Cullen:

This is by far the best film in the series. This does not necessarily mean it's good. But as it reaches its prolonged and wildly violent crescendo, it's at least entertaining in a totally nutso way.
That's about the way of it, yeah. I also chimed in for Christy's article on the lead actors' future (@AP: For Twilight actors, transition from beloved film series with fervent fan base can be tricky). The horse I chose to back should come as no surprise.

I want to leave my own share of discussion at that, but we usually have spoilers in the comments, so why the hell not: go for it. I don't want to talk very much about the movie myself, since I need to save it for That Of Which We Do Not Speak, which we will speak of because we all know I'm writing it. I actually knocked out a fairly solid outline at 3 am Saturday morning. (Also, we'll be recording a Made of Fail episode on Tuesday.) Don't know how long it'll take to write, but these things always take at least a few days, and both my grandmother and my sister are really, really sick; I know my immune system well enough to know that, particularly after going out and being around people omg, I am probably going to get sick (again) myself. I'm proactively warding it off the best I can, but I'm just saying: build some wait time into your expectations here. I don't think it'll take six weeks like The Avengers did, but bear with me here a while. Go ye and catch up on the first four Twilight in Fifteen Minuteses while you wait.


Meanwhile, this is going to be the Help I Cannot Remember Specifics thread, for all my HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS needs.



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I was gonna go see it. I always do. Only one I skipped on was New Moon because I knew it would infuriate me to the point I'd do something that got me thrown out of the theater. But, after Part I failed to bring my lolz like the previous ones had and had betray me so I fed up with this world /theroom, I bowed out. I'll see it, but not in theaters. Plus, I too am heavily spoilered. Seeing this one would just....make me mad.

Plus, I know there would be less Leah. Which is tragedy. There needs to be more Leah, not less. Well, so long as she's handled by someone that isn't Stephenie Meyer. *still living in fear that Meyer will go through with her threat of writing a new book from Leah's POV*

Though what Aro does at the end? THAT ALMOST MADE ME GO. Because I hate Carlisle so freaking much. YES, I KNOW THE "TWIST". Just seeing it almost makes everything worth it.

I don't even dig Carlisle all that much (nor do I know what's happened to Peter Facinelli's face since the first movie), but just the visceral horror of O SNAP, LOOK WHO'S DEAD freaked me out so bad, and I even knew it was going to happen (well, I didn't know until that moment that we were entering the Grand Fakeout, but still). The really funny part was, since I knew nothing was going to stick, I wondered if they might really go all out and kill EVERYONE. There was a point where I legit thought that guy was going to kill Jacob and possibly even Renesmee (or at least grab her), and I really truly thought for about five seconds that Edward might actually die in the ravine. Because, hey--it doesn't count, right? I would give a million billion dollars to be in a theater on the opening night of a movie where they killed off Jacob and/or Edward, even if they undid it five seconds later. I would also bring riot gear.

HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS (ALL THE SPOILERS)

Well, first, in case you would like a translation of the [spoiler] sentence:


I had read an article on the MTV movies blog months ago that very casually mentioned that they had shot "a vision Alice has of SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENING a battle that goes really badly" sequence. Carlisle even loses his head! Peter Facinelli thinks we're going to love it! And I thought it was just going to be some little thirty-second warning vision Alice has in the middle of the movie when she sees that the Volturi are coming; I didn't realize it would be the Big Finale. So the Scream Section starts, and I'm like... WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF SPARKLE IS HAPPE... oh. So I was all horrified when it happened but also knew it was going to be undone in the end, and so I wasn't as freaked out as the rest of the audience.


(Short version: there's an epic battle where terrible things happen to characters you like, then it's revealed as a giant fakeout/vision that Alice is showing Aro. You're glad the good guys aren't dead, but you're DEVASTATED that all the badass comeuppance you saw didn't actually happen. SERIOUSLY. There you go.)


Second: I have managed to get help figuring out what happened to which wolves (WEAR NAMETAGS), and confirming where Garrett first turned up, because apparently half this movie slid right off my brain. (I don't take notes on a first viewing because I end up looking away from the screen too much.) What I can't remember now is who, specifically, tore Jasper's head off, or, if we can't remember, if anyone will care if I'm like "Colossus and That Guy." Also, did various Cullens go out to find witnesses anywhere other than Alaska, Egypt, and New Orleans?

(More questions to follow when I hit another snag.)

Re: HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS (ALL THE SPOILERS)

JASPER GETS HIS HEAD TORN OFF, TOO?!

Oh my God, this movie seriously wants me to see it.

/sorry I can't be helpful, normally I would *handwring*

Having read the spoiler, I now find myself actually interested in seeing this movie, if only to see my cousin scream her little heart out.

Did I mention I thrive on the anguish of others?

Or so I've been told.

It's kind of worth it just for how balls-out unlike the book that whole sequence is. The way Aro gets killed is MAGICAL. It involves Edward throwing Bella at his head, for one.

BWAHAHA at those gifs! Perfect!

Can't wait for That Of Which We Do Not Speak. (But no pressure. :-) ) I went in unspoiled on Friday, and was all "Wait! WHAT? Really? Holy -- Ohhhhhhhh." The entire theater could not stop laughing when the [spoiler] turned out to be all a [spoiler].

But now I REALLY want to see Alice wearing Aro's face as a jaunty beret. Darn it.

Hope your grandma is doing okay.

Thanks. Her surgery was necessary but minor; this week, she's got a really bad cold (flu?), and I'm mostly concerned because anything can turn bad at her age. So I'm generally worried, but it's nothing serious at the moment. Of course, I'll be seeing her a good bit this week, so if she's at all contagious, I'll probably come down with something as well.

I think this is a spoiler zone, but just in case -

--- SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS ---

I have many thoughts on this film, but the main one is: Who the fuck thought that creepy-ass computer baby was a good idea? D:

Otherwise, it was fun. Sometimes even intentionally! :D My friends were freaking out and crying at the end - to my confused looks, they don't really like Twilight - while I was celebrating each gory death. Too bad that after the second main character killed I knew it was all a vision.

Aro is magnificent. And Dakota Fanning should star in all the things.

One more thing - this legit happened at the end in the cinema I went:

credits: "Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black"
audience: *applause, catcalls, ovation*
credits: "Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen"
audience: *applause, screams, shouts"
credits: "Kirsten Stewart as Bella Swan"
audience: ...
audience: *explodes into laughter*

It was amazing.

Edited at 2012-11-18 06:07 pm (UTC)

Aro's creepy and unhinged laugh was probably THE single most creepy and unhinged laugh that anyone has ever laughed. I can't wait until the RiffTrax guys tackle that one.

Wait, so...there's no battle at all, it's all fake? They just do the Care Bear Stare like in the book?

I'm sure that was fun to watch, but narratively, what a cheap trick to pull on the audience to make them think all of a sudden they've stumbled into a story where stuff, like, happens! I would have felt really cheated, like watching Newhart or Dallas and finding out the whole season's been a dream and you completely lose the emotional impact of everything you've seen. It's not as if this last movie was their vehicle to pull in millions of new converts - I doubt most of the fans would have given the book ending a second thought when they saw it. Huh.

Honestly, the whole thing sorta comes across as the director trying to troll the fans. Which is why I like it so much. He's like "Hey guys, look how much more awesome your book could have been with an actual climax! LOL J/K here is your Care Bear Stare ending."

(Dayna, do we have a sound clip of me rubbing my hands together evilly?)

Somewhere, but I think someone's talking over it otherwise I'd have used it in the show intro.

TIME TO MAKE A NEW ONE.

You know what I kind of want as a cold open or stinger? "YOU NAMED MY BABY AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!?!" You have two different recordings of it, even.

(Deleted comment)
Aside from the fake-out ending, what did you think of the rest of the movie? Was Bella-vampiring-better-than-you at all satisfying? Did Taylor manage to pull off the imprinting business (for some definition of "pulling off"). I'm not planning on seeing this one in theaters because I'm kind of over the series at this point, but it's still lulzy to come here and read your take on it.

Bella hugging a cougar to death was hysterical, for one. She also had, later on, a very nice array of cropped jackets and tight pants. To start with, she did go out hunting in a minidress, as was written.

One of my favorite parts was Bella beating Jacob's ass over the imprinting and Edward on the porch, like, "No no, let her do it, I'm enjoying this." *chinhands* *popcorn.gif* Her delivery of "YOU NAMED MY BABY AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!?!" was exactly the same as mine when I did it (two different times!) on Made of Fail. Like, I loved that this is just clearly the way one ought to say it.

They managed to downplay the imprinting pretty well and having Jacob go off and interact with non-Renesmee characters. I mean, it was very clearly there, and he tries to tell Bella "it's not what you think it is" and she clearly beats his ass for it, and he DOES give Renesmee the bracelet at Christmas (although they quietly decline to specify that it's a PROMISE bracelet). My favorite part of that storyline was Jacob gazing longingly through the window, and there's Rosalie playing with Baby Renesmee and kissing her little baby fists, and he just has the ultimate IT SHOULD BE ME!! look on his face. They very pointedly show an Alice vision of Legal Full-Grown Renesmee with Jacob at the end.

Michael Sheen was just... off the chain.

http://vale19.tumblr.com/post/36010227963/aro-fangirling

Also, I hadn't really ever seen Lee Pace in anything, but I get it now. His lines were kind of terrible, and I still get it.

Seriously, reconsider not seeing this in the theaters. The big long action sequence is OUT THERE. It is worth it for Alice feeding Jane's head to a wolf and Edward throwing Bella at Aro's face. And it's only two hours total!

The movie was surprisingly fun and like you said it did feel like it was a movie version of your recaps. At one point I remember thinking it would be hilarious if you could sue or something. Anyway the twist at the end was really great until your realized its fake. So many angry groans when that happened. I swear nobody in my theater was a serious twilight fan. People clapped at all the deaths, somebody even cheered when Edward fell in the massive earth crack but then that same person booed when he popped up again. Kate and Garrett exceeded my expectations and Aro was brilliant. I walked out that theater wanting to hug the movie for being so lolarious.

Oh, no suing! It's only like my recaps in that my recaps were extremely true to the books. I keep telling you guys, I am never making it up. Seriously, *other people* told me it felt like the recap, but it never crossed my mind because the movie just felt like the book, was all.

The hunt scene at the beginning was amazing. I think I laughed for about five minutes when they had Bella slow-running in front of terrible CGI forest.

(Deleted comment)
Yeah--I kept thinking, whatever I've facetiously come up with, the surprise has got to be EVEN WILDER. Sitting here two days later, I think I'm having a delayed enjoyment reaction. At the time? I was SORELY DISAPPOINT.

I saw this yesterday at 10:00 AM and there was no line for me. maybe because it was a matinee? I'm sure there was for the midnight showing though. The theater was pretty well packed though.

I didn't know anything about the fake out vision ahead of time, so I was actually freaking out, especially when they offed Jasper since he's one of my fave characters. My notes are of me going nuts at that point. Even the write-up I did on my journal reflects this. Someone in the theater after the whole thing actually said "Oh, thank God". We all had a good chuckle at that.

I noticed the article you linked to referred to you as a Twilight "expert". I guess it's a title that you just can't shake.

Hope your family feels better. We were on vacation a couple of weeks ago and my mom has been suffering from hives/rash ever since we got back and I've been having massive allergy issues. No fun.

Yeah, I usually don't have to deal with lines at all--because I go somewhere between 10 am and 2 pm, as early as I can manage it. It was a spur of the moment decision Friday night, and my mother very clearly had no idea what we were getting into.

And yeah, Christy has consulted me two (three?) times for Twilight articles now. I couldn't talk her out of that particular phrase. Like one of my friends said--"Oh Cleo, 'Twilight expert.' I don't even know how this happened." Well, five recaps and four movie writeups, that's how. :(

(Aw, I hope y'all feel better soon!)

I'm not really into Tumblr, but I love the tags on that post.

Thanks for enduring this (all of this) for us, and I look forward to more.

I'm not into keeping up with Tumblr generally, but I find it useful for throwing up mini-blog posts, essentially, that I don't have the energy to pull together for a full LJ entry. Also, reblogging other people's mini-blog posts, essentially. (Irony: I end up seeing other people's Tumblr posts mostly because... I'm linked to them on Twitter. It's like an Escher staircase of social media.)

Can i have yout permision to do Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in 15 min. script for forensics?

Hi! i am a HUGE harry potter fan and i love your movies in 15 minutes scripts!! i am also in forensics (competitive acting) and i was just wondering if i could do the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire script as a Humerous Duo script? It would be AWESOME if i could! :)

Re: Can i have yout permision to do Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in 15 min. script for forens

Oh, sure. I just ask that people not make money off it, and that they give me credit (or acknowledge that they adapted it from my work) by name, and it sounds like that would be the case here. Good luck!

I laughed my ass of through the movie. It was brilliant for a twilight movie at least.

Points
1 whoa RPatz is mad crazy in love with Kristen. I felt horrible for him afte what happened. Hopefully it works out because she has no idea.
2 I loved the twist because between that and getting the fake documents, Alice proves once again she is the most badass Cullen whomever Cullened. I love Alice.
3 Jacob fursploding at Charlie. OMG. The scene that everyone wanted to end, we get the point! We were dying of laughter.

Thank you for the recaps and m15m because I would have otherwised missed out on the fun!

If #1 is true, then I for one hope he gets over her and moves on after what she did because it's obvious she doesn't have the same depth of feeling he does.

Now I will have to see this movie, the ending sounds far better than the one in the book, which I admit bored the pants of of me, so much standing around... 8-)

I always wonder if I think the ending is as long and dull as I think it is or if I'm exaggerating it because I stayed up late to finish the damn thing.

Definitely see the movie. All the unintentional hilarity of the previous movies pale in comparison.

If those gifs aren't enough, here's a full compilation of Robert Pattinson's views on Twilight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBpNps3xATc&feature=youtu.be

I wrote a post on Twi today too. Woo. I hated the books but feel they made better movies. Not great movies but watchable to me. I did enjoy the last one and thought the surprise element worked pretty well. And yes, the tweens were squeeing in the theater and I saw a 1pm show...

Good luck with your relatives' health. And kudos for riding this crazy train all the way to the end. And don't worry about us. The parody will still be funny even if it's not posted soon.

I was in a theater full of people apparently there for the lulz; everyone was laughing at pretty much everything and I heard quite a few "This is stupid" comments around me. Regarding the fight scene, there was a huge laugh when they did that aerial shot of the two sides facing off against each other in the beginning; I have no idea why they even did that shot because both sides looked so pathetically small. I figured out a quarter of the way through the badass fight scene that it was going to be a fake-out and there was this HUGE groan of disapproval when they did do the big reveal.

I was pleased with this movie being the end to the Twilight franchise. I'm only in it for the lulz and I was concerned by New Moon being kind of a good movie and Breaking Dawn Part 1 being a horror movie (which I like). This movie returned to its lulztastic roots and I loved the fact that it seemed like the entire cast and crew said, "Screw it. We're at the end; let's make fun of everything we possibly can." I was also pleasantly surprised that KStew was able to make the transition to being an elegant vampire, although once the sex started, she returned to her pinched face ways and RPatz started making his constipated face again. (Are those their turned-on looks? Because they're really not attractive.)

Why wouldn't the movie end though? There were at least three different moments where I thought the movie was going to end and then it didn't. Although, that horrific montage and showing that last awful sentence of the book might have been worth it - the perfect silly ending to a silly series.

I liked to think they showed the last page to be like, "NO, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS HOW IT ENDS. NO, I'M REALLY REALLY SERIOUS."

I was very sad that Tyler's Van (as "Tyler's Van") did not get any acknowledgment in the cast montage.

Alice didn't wear Aro's face as a jaunty beret.

Well damn.

She'd nick his cape and necklace (he was wearing some kind of necklace, wasn't he?) to go with it and it would be the most amazing thing ever.

I went to a midnight showing, and The Scene elicited gasps and shrieks (and cheers for the demises of baddies) that were pretty awesome. I had no idea what was going to happen, so when things started with Carlisle, my hand actually went to my mouth in surprise. My thoughts were, "Holy crap...is she actually throwing canon out the window and doing the 'Rocks fall, and everyone dies' ending? AWESOME." and "This has GOT to be a dream."

3 favorite things:
-Jacob showing himself to Charlie (The awkward was so great.)
-Aro's squeal (I can't believe he actually *squealed*) of delight when he meets Reneesme
-Lee Pace as Garrett. Hands down the most interesting character in the movie. Also, the best looking vampire, IMHO. I would watch an entire Garrett-backstory spinoff. He actually eats people! I'm pretending that he's really an Anne Rice vampire trapped in the wrong franchise. He never did sparkle!

Right? Sexy Banter-filled Adventures of Kate and Garrett! Co-starring Alice and Jasper and lots of snark! Possibly with mystery-solving and/or crime fighting! Next Angel Y/Y/Y?

WAITTTTT.... something doesn't add up

okay so I know it's been discussed the "half the good/bad guys die" is a vision,etc so it doesn't actually happen.

but since it Is a "could have been..." situation....
what I dont get is---
of the people that get killed some is because Jane uses her "Vampire-mind crucio power" on them and incapacitates them so they get killed by someone else. (was it jasper and-- seth? or someone else that gets mind-crucioed then killed?)

isn't the point of Bella's Power that she uses her Mind shield to protect the others? so why doesn't she does it in the "could have been" scenario?

i mean I know it doesn't protect against ripped limbs and getting set of fire- but i did said it protects from the vamp powers. so-- movie oops to be dramatic?


Edited at 2012-11-20 03:43 am (UTC)

Re: WAITTTTT.... something doesn't add up

I think the movie was going for "Bella can do the projecting thing but since she's only practiced it for like two days she isn't terribly good at it yet."

SPOILERS.

OK, I actually enjoyed that a lot. Mostly because of the cackle-inducing self-aware bits. Also I definitely think Lee Pace and Michael Sheen were the best parts of that movie. And Moustache Dad, as always (the Jacob wolfing out scene was PRICELESS).

Seeing this reminded me of something that I've heard said in different ways, but haven't been able to articulate before now: Stephenie Meyer is the George Lucas of the literary world.

Seriously, think about it. She built a really cool place with potentially interesting characters... and then didn't know what to do with it. When allowed free rein, her characters don't act human, and juvenile scenarios are taken to their illogical, uninteresting conclusion. What really drove this home was seeing the battle (yay!) that didn't happen (arrrgh). When those characters died, I felt it and was even ultimately glad they weren't gone, which made me realize that they were well-made, if not well-executed, characters. (Aside: Don't tell me they couldn't afford to actually show the Quileute actors. Not with all the money these fucking films have made).

One of the most heinous examples of the weird character writing: Renesmee. Silly name aside, she should be a mental wreck after literally breaking her mother, with whom she'd already formed a bond, coming out of the womb. And a million times more interesting. But no: she is insufferably perfect and annoying and boring. Like those people- you know the ones- I want to hate but can't, that can just pick up an instrument and play, or speak a language really easily, and are just really nice to boot.

It's actually worse, if possible, in the movie. Robbed of even her spunky Jacob possessiveness, she makes me wonder why everyone is blissfully worshiping her when they should be clawing the walls to get away. The actress wasn't lacking, I don't think, but the character could have been handled a lot better, especially since the rest of the movie is so elevated by the screenplay writing.

My favorite parts of the movie were the bonding scenes with the other vampires, like the one around the campfire. There should have been more of that kind of stuff. And those scenes make me lament all the more that we can't have the sexy banter-filled Adventures of Kate and Garrett, possibly co-starring Alice and Jasper with Emmett and Rosalee singing back-up. They could even Fight Crime, a Scooby gang that has to move house every decade or so, on into the future. Or a million other scenarios, other than what happened in the books.

Also, is it the writing/character bias? How does Lee Pace infuse so much more believability and warmth into his few scenes than the rest of the main ensemble combined? Are veggie vampires just inherently more boring? I guess it could also be my weakness for old-fashioned haircuts and long coats. But really, people.

Anyway, I do still love Pattinson and Stewart, if only because it amazes me to see how well they act their characters to the bitter end, especially knowing their attitudes to the franchise. It's not their fault their characters suck.

Re: SO MANY THOUGHTS

See, I would agree with the George Lucas comparison, except that I don't even think she put very much effort into world-building. (Weirdly, that might make it more relatable--it's the real modern world, not a world she built. I mean, there's Volterra, but we see one room and a fountain in the whole city, basically.) To me, the unexplored potential is, yes, in the supporting characters, who have the depth of Wikipedia article stubs--all you think about is what you wish she was telling you. Shit, I'd even like to hear more about Edward's life while he was out eating people, which saw a little bit of in Eclipse. I'd like to see these people DOING THINGS, coping with becoming vampires in various eras, instead of orbiting around precious tasty human Bella and her angsting for the first three books. Because, you notice, the point where BELLA gets interesting is exactly that point: when she becomes a vampire.

I was impressed with Lee Pace, who I'm not sure I'd seen in anything before, although for some reason most of his lines were terrible. And yet he was still really watchable. Which is interesting, because the same was true of Garrett in the book--not very good dialogue (it was the same), but somehow that character popped anyway.

I also really missed Renesmee's possessiveness, if only because I liked how reciprocally weird that was. Like, let's go all the way with the creepy baby here. Go creepy or go home.

Actually, to hear Kristen Stewart talk about it, Bella has always been very important to her, and she has been serious as a heart attack about it (probably too serious); it's the promotion she hates. I do appreciate that Robert Pattinson can be incredibly--self-deprecatingly--snarky about the whole business, but he clearly commits to it when the camera's rolling. Edward is a very depressed, frustrated, anxious character, but it doesn't ever feel like he's just phoning his own personal frustration in. Or maybe he is and he just does puppy-dog eyes really well, I don't know.

Did anyone else notice the gold burst-y sparkles around Bella's head just before the stop-motion edit in the love scene? That--along with Aro's freakishly awesome cackle-- were my biggest lulz.

Oh my god YES. I thought it was how vampire orgasms look, but then the sex scene kept going so I don't know.

?

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