Please welcome! Don Cheadle and Eva Longoria (in boob-windowed black) to present Miss Golden Globe, Clint Eastwood's daughter Francesca, because okay.
Best Miniseries or TV Movie
"Hatfields & McCoys"
Winner: Game Change. You know what I want to see? Tina Fey and Julianne Moore in a Palin-off. Big hand specifically for Julianne Moore, because the producer basically just had the same thought I did! (It was an extremely original thought.) HERE ALSO is the best actress in the TV movie blah, because... didn't they just kind of spoil this, actually?
(I need to note that something happens in the process of reading out the names that involves Don Cheadle and then someone in fake teeth? I am hearing it was either Amy Poehler or Sienna Miller? People will probably talk about it tomorrow but the sound on my TV decided I didn't need to know about it? Let's just pretend it was a fever dream I had.)
Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Nicole Kidman, "Hemingway & Gellhorn"
Jessica Lange, "American Horror Story: Asylum"
Sienna Miller, "The Girl"
Julianne Moore, "Game Change"
Sigourney Weaver, "Political Animals"
WINNER: Bring it back on up, Julianne Moore. "Oh my gosh, my children will be so relieved!" Man, I love her. She's in black and white and it's structured and interesting but it's not gasping for attention and DON'T YOU DARE PLAY HER OFF! DON'T YOU DARE!
Here is Catherine Zeta-Jones in sparkly neutral, and she wants to sing. She is here to present the Les Mis montage, and also to begin the Battle of the Beiges anew. IT IS A WAR THAT DOES NOT END, MES AMIS.
Did you know that the Hollywood Foreign Press uses a voting process very similar to the Hunger Games? "Please welcome HFPA president and world-class archer..." And (having decided not to run again) Dr. Aida Takla O'Reilly is going to "disappear into the delta twilight"? Did my TV cut out or is that what she said? "I know that Jeffrey Katzenberg will never forget my name, because he never knew it in the first place. And allow me to say three little words to Bradley Cooper: [phone fingers] Call me, maybe." These are all things that happened.
Rosario Dawson presents an Exotic Marigold Hotel montage in an aqua dress that kind of chokes up a bit high? I don't know, Salma Hayek and Paul Rudd are presenting something.
Best Actor in a TV Drama
Steve Buscemi, "Boardwalk Empire"
Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"
Jeff Daniels, "The Newsroom"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"
Damian Lewis, "Homeland"
WINNER: Damian Lewis! Cheers from the crowd! "Thank you! Thank you, gosh, thank you!" He thanks his mother "up there," which is sweet, and actually kind of funny.
Paul Rudd: "... ... ... Hello. How's everybody doing?"
Salma Hayek [mumbling]: "... something about the best..."
Best TV Drama
Both of them: [laughing]
WINNER: Homeland! The Guy Standing Up for the Group: "I wish you could have seen Claire Danes, eight months pregnant, holding a pipe, being chased down a tunnel by Abu Nazir over and over again." I'm okay with looking at Claire Danes in red right here at the moment, thanks.
Commercials! I feel dizzy.
- Golden Globes #2