Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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As of this morning, my sister has officially been diagnosed with PTSD from nearly dying in February. She says it's okay to give details now--she had an ectopic miscarriage, in which she also lost a Fallopian tube and 50% of her blood (internal bleeding; nobody realized it until she was in surgery). (In the recovery room, a nurse cheerfully told her, "Well! We almost lost you!") So... that was fairly traumatic.

Scout has had a very bad week. The vet recommended we change his food, and... that did not go well. And then he tore into some garbage. I have cleaned up many, many kinds of canine effluvia the last few days. Mom took him to the vet yesterday evening--

--and today he's there on an IV to replenish his fluids and get his blood sugar straightened out (he's also diabetic). That is the calm, not-freaked-out version of events.

My wrenched ankle is a lot better, although still a bit wobbly; I will probably continue to use the ankle brace from time to time as a preventative measure. Unfortunately, I've started periodically having a burning sensation, sometimes a mild but shooting pain, in my big toe; it seems like I'm inheriting my mother's neuropathy.

My teeth are somewhat less haunted, although they do ache a little today.

We have moth problems.

Lizzie keeps shutting down if I'm away for more than an hour or so, despite the best error-repairing efforts of my frequent Advanced SystemCare scans; I've started pricing Dell laptops again for a Lizzie 2, possibly on a payment plan, because things are not looking good. Yes, it will be a Dell. No, this is not up for discussion. The Compocalypse was one of the worst months of my entire life and I'm not going to deviate from the one brand I have ever been able to rely on now.

Over the last few weeks, I've been dealing with mania and then (relatively mild?) depression, possibly a mixed state in there somewhere. I don't know that I've written anything substantial since the "Takiawase" recap last spring and the short story I finished afterwards; last year was such a parade of awful variegated stress that I was holding on to life by my teeth at several points. In a way, I feel like I'm having to teach my brain how to string sentences together again. That's why I don't post very often; I try, but--okay, right now, I'm stalling on this sentence. I don't even know how to complete a thought, and then I walk away, and then five days pass, and I never post it at all. We'll let that suffice.

I have gotten a lot done on the double-length Twin Peaks pilot recap. I have hopes for that being finished this century. (Lily Rose, who did commentary for me umpteen months ago, continues to wait patiently for me to get my shit together.) "Mukozuke" is closer to being done.

Kristen and I have been working on the Twin Peaks "Northwest Passage" eyeshadow collection, which will come out in July. She and Freddie and I have also been working out early Hannibal season 3 concepts for a set of four colors to come out in May, I think. The Blade Runner collection is already out and complete.

I have finally told a few Great Red Dragon Con stories on the latest episode of Made of Fail, which (ICYMI) foresthouse and I now cohost. The original theme was just "conventions we have known and loved," but the first twenty minutes are about Sir Terry Pratchett's passing, seguing into Emily's experiences helping run the North American Discworld Convention. I'm still trying to finish my Dragon Con post from last September to go with it, but clearly am having trouble sentencing the words, so we'll go ahead and mention the podcast itself now.

That should be all for now, both good and ungood, I guess. There's even more going on at the moment that I don't really want to get into--I tend to prefer that things settle down before I talk about them. In the meantime, we persevere.

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Hang in there, Cleo. We're all pulling for you, both for the writing and for you yourself.

Oh Cleo! You guys have been through the mill and no mistake. So glad your sister made it!! I'll be praying for her as she deals with the PTSD. And for you and your healing from stress and injuries, as well.

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Sorry that the things are mostly awful. All the possible well-wishes to you, your sister and Scout (and to everyone else in your life who might need those). I forgot whether you're okay with virtual hugs, and Scout might not appreciate the army of virtual manuls invadindg the house while he's away, so I'm sticking with "good thoughts" for now.

I hope Lizzie's regeneration will be successful.

Send your sister my love, if it's welcome. I have PTSD from the Fukushima earthquake and associated horrors. It's hard, but it gets better. But it is hard.

Oh hugs to your sister-I had a miscarriage that they thought was ectopic for a bit(turned out it wasn't, just close), and I know how horrifying it can be.

More hugs or affectionate gesture of choice to the rest of your family as well. Healing thoughts.

I am so sorry for all that you and your family is going through. Hang in there, and we're all sending good thoughts and virtual hugs your way. I hope things get better soon.

Okay, I feel bad for laughing given the general nature of the post, but I just clicked on the moth link. I completely lost it when I got to "plenty of company for scrapbooking."

Same here. The whole Storify had me LMAO.

Holy shit, that's a hell of a rough few months. Wishing all of you good vibes and a less stressful rest of 2015! *hugs*

I'm so sorry. Please, take care of yourself and your loved ones as best you can.
(And burn all the moths.)

Wow! That is a lot of goings-on. Allow me to officially shakefist in disapproval at all the bad ones.

My latest laptop is a Dell Inspiron 3537 (the cheapest I could get in this size) and it has been serving me quite well. I will note also that migrating from the old one *before* it gave up the ghost was considerably easier than all the previous times when I put off getting a new laptop until the old one had died, so if it's looming on the horizon, I think planning for it early the way you're doing is a good idea. Go Cleo!

Aw man, Cleo. Jedi hugs to you and your sister (and Scout).

Hugs to you and your family!

I'm still stuck on 50% of her blood. O_O That's horrifying. I'm sorry you all - especially your sister, but you all - are dealing with such a bad year. May 2015 be on an upswing.

That sounds like case bearing moth or one of its relatives. They all make little cocoons out of lint and dust debris. We've been fighting an outbreak of them for years because they got into the walls and the insulation. Kill them on sight and vacuum up all cocoons. They eat any paper, wood, fabric, glue, hair, grain or dry goods they get into so seal stuff off in containers.

Edited at 2015-04-18 03:01 am (UTC)

Well, hell. That's a lot to deal with. My best to you and yours, and I hope that things improve vastly and swiftly.

Much love to you and your family. And to the imminent Lizzie 2!

Oh, Cleo. Sending love and strength to you and your entire family, and crossing my fingers you can get Lizzie 2 before Lizzie Original Recipe gives up. <3 <3 <3

Man, it's been rough for you and your family lately (wow, your poor sister!).

The difficulty in writing may be a bipolar med issue? I've been on some meds that made it very difficult to string sentences together. Topamax was really bad on that. (Heck, some make it hard to read!)

All the best. You hang in there!

Oh, Cleo. I am so sorry for everything you're going through right now. Thinking good thoughts that it gets better soon.

Holy shit. I am very sorry for your sister's loss. May her recovery road be gentle and swift as possible.

Glad to see you back. Take care of your own self, too.

Oh my God, I'm so sorry about your sister. What sounds like something very similar happened with my cousin's ectopic pregnancy, although fortunately for her she didn't also end up with PTSD. I hope your sister gets lots of good help soon. Both you and she are in my thoughts. As is poor Scout.

Keep on keeping on. I'll continue sending any and all good thoughts and vibes I can! I only know you through the Internet and such, but what I know of you I've found you're always a strong person and you always come through and I know you'll continue to persevere. I'll also out out positive thoughts for your sister. That's a deeply hard blow to recover from but if she's anything like you I know she'll be okay eventually.

Oh man, Cleo, I'm so sorry life is messing with your family so hard. May it get better immediately!

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Thinking good thoughts for you and your family.

You guys are excellent podcast hosts.

Dear Cleo,
I'm so sorry that the last 12 months have been ridiculously bad for you and your loved ones.
Your health and the health of those around you are the most important things - please look after yourself and rest.
The fact that you post to let us know what's happening is wonderful and we treasure it.
Please know that there are so many people out there who value you and we're all cheering for you and willing things to get better for you and yours.
- Liz V

*HUGS FOR CLEO*, also, "Why have you failed me again, LJ email alerts?!"

I'm so sorry to hear about the troubles that Sister Girl and the rest of the Jones household has been going through, Cleo :-( On a lesser-ish note I hope that all will be well with your laptop. Last May I had my own "Compocalypse" when I knocked my laptop (an Acer) onto the ground with the power chord still on -- which means instant frying of everything it ever contained -- on the morning of my bachelor's thesis presentation. Granted I didn't lose my thesis which was saved onto a flash drive, but it was such a bad omen and I nearly fainted when I did my presentation. Luckily I still passed. However looking back on it, I'd like to think that bad tech things on such a magnitude happening to me would mean that i'm drawing away the negative energies from my Internet friends so that they don't have to go through s&@t like this. :-\

That's why I don't post very often; I try, but--okay, right now, I'm stalling on this sentence. I don't even know how to complete a thought, and then I walk away, and then five days pass, and I never post it at all. We'll let that suffice.

It's your turf, Cleo. Far be it for any of us to stress you for updates. But on the other hand I'm deeply grateful whenever you do post here, because this is the only platform that I can find you where I could comment on. Sometimes I get a bit worried about the stuff you'd mentioned in a previous entry, so I'm glad to see updates. My bottom line? The new entries don't even have to be particularly long. Especially if the topics are sad ones. You of all people have earned the right to erite Tweet-length livejournal posts and have everybody be fine with it and still have loads to say about them.

I have gotten a lot done on the double-length Twin Peaks pilot recap. I have hopes for that being finished this century. (Lily Rose, who did commentary for me umpteen months ago, continues to wait patiently for me to get my shit together.) "Mukozuke" is closer to being done.

See, this is what I appreciate so much from you, fandom-wise: those brief but no less important status updates. Do they have to be lengthy? Not at all. I'm now using most of my fannibal time to listen to some new podcasts. There's a great one called "Eat the Rudecast", which I've discovered after listening to "This Is Our Design" on SoundOnSight. I wrote them an email and directed them to your journal. :) I can be *very* patient re: Hannibal recap updates, because i can spend forever re-reading the ones you'd already posted, and knowing that no matter when it happens, I know it would be *good*. Take all the time you need, Cleo.

Re: Dragoncon & MoF #77

I've downloaded the episode and so far I've reached the halfway point. I must confess I schadenfreude-giggled when you said you had murder in your eyes. xD Too bad you aren't allowed to ride a bicycle through Con-areas, or so I've been told.

ETA This may be answered in the latter half of the podcast, but did anyone record the Fannibal Pannibal session? If so, are there any links to it?

All in all, my condolences to Sister Girl and to you, loved the podcast so far, take your time re:HannibalRecaps and please consider updating on LJ a little more frequently. Length isn't required.

Edited at 2015-04-20 11:52 am (UTC)

I'm so sorry for everything your family has been through. I hope you are all being gentle with yourselves.

Oh good god - sounds like you could use a break. I'm sorry everything is going rough for your family.

As for the moth thing - I've been there, done that, had the nervous breakdown. My house has wool carpets that attract them like woah. Best suggestion is vacuum - and bug bomb, than vacuum everything again. Repeat for the next few weeks. Boil any clothing laying around.

We found SLA spray does pretty well, along with Raid for fleas and bedbugs. Supposedly also washing down all the dark crevices and baseboards and back of closets and cabinets with vinegar will help kill any eggs that you may have missed. Also cedar or bay leaves in drawers and closets are a preventive measure to discourage them from coming back.

I am glad you're alive, and I'm sorry that you're in pain. That might sound blunt, but I'm not having the best day myself, and I don't think the big things get said often enough, so I'm saying them now.

Please give our best to your sister. I'm sorry she went through so much pain and awfulness!

I hope you feel better reasonably soon, and I hope the word-stringing gets easier and faster for you. (That didn't make much sense, and I apologise for that. You get the sentiment behind it, right? I hope you get better, and feel better.)


OMG, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister! I hope she's ok, physically at least. Mentally may take more time, of course...

Mental health issues always come at the worst time, at least for me. For now, things are pretty ok, especially since things are ramping up my final week of Spring semester of grad school.

I'm sending many well wishes your way.

Sending you and your loved ones good vibes <3 Hope things look up for you all very soon.

Oh Cleo, I'm so sorry for all the tribulations you and your family have been going through. Jedi hugs to you and your sister (and Scout, and everyone!) and hope things settle down soon. <3

oh gods, do i ever feel you on this past year! [recap omitted, because the *LAST* thing you need is to read about someone else's shit] i send you and yours GoodThoughts(tm)

but, this one thing: *I* have PTSD, and have been struggling with it for... math, math... 15 or 16 years since i was diagnosed, anyway.
if your sister ever needs someone to talk to about it [or you, or anyone in your family, needs to talk to someone about dealing with someone who *HAS* it] i'm perfectly willing to be a shoulder and set of ears. sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who isn't involved, who is neutral... and sometimes it's even easier to talk to someone *you don't really know*. and sometimes it's *harder* to talk to someone [or, at least, TRUST someone] who's doing it because they're paid. and it's often really hard to find such a paid person for the FAMILY of the person with disorder, despite the fact that they *really often* need it [as me and mine can attest]
i fulfill all criteria, being uninvolved, neutral, not really known by you aside from a few comment exchanged and not known by anyone else in your family at all. i am *NOT* being paid [though i actually have 3 1/2 years of a BS in psychology from Auburn... it drove me crazy. actually, i dropped out, because this was before the PTSD was diagnose but *GODS* was it ever messing with me]

plus, i really like helping people -- a combo of how helping others makes me feel good, productive, and like there's a *POINT* to my life; and how other people's problems don't seem overwhelming to me [unlike my own -- but dealing with someone else's gives me hope that i CAN deal with my own, if that follows]

i won't be offended if none of you want my help -- as i stated [in the pro column, but it really does belong in both] i *AM* a stranger and all.
i've just been on pretty much all sides of this -- been the person WITH PTSD, the family member of a different person with it, been counseled, been the mentor of several teens with PTSD back when i was still able to mentor teens, and actually worked with two people back when i was in school.

if you, or sister, or anyone else in your family think i might be able to help [even if i'm just someone you/they can rant to without having to worry about hurting someone's feelings] you can email me at denelian @ yahoo
i can even [thru PRIVATE EMAIL] share my phone number, if anyone would prefer voice communication.

and i shall now cease blathering at you.
*Internet Hugs* are available, if you want them.

It's good to hear from you, but wow, that is all awful stuff. Hugs.

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