Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

Breaking Dawn, Book One
twilight
cleolinda
Thank you for calling Cleolinda Industries! We appreciate your interest and/or concern.

If you would like to read a semi-academic discussion of the first Twilight book, please press 1.

If you would like to read a chapter-by-chapter commentary on New Moon, please press 2.

If you would like to read a chapter-by-chapter commentary on Eclipse, please press 3.

If you would like to read a chapter-by-chapter commentary on the first half of
Midnight Sun, please press 4.

If you would like a primer on the
Twilight phenomenon, please press 5.

If you are sick of hearing about
Twilight, please run screaming.

If you would like to begin a three-part commentary on
Breaking Dawn, please stay on the lineCollapse )


Site Meter

Breaking Dawn, Book Two
twilight
cleolinda
So you're here from part one? Okay, before we get into this, let's do two things. Number one: If you are pregnant, do not read this section of the book. You may not even want to read this section of the commentary. I don't even plan on having kids and it squicked me the hell out. It's like David Cronenberg took over the book for a hundred pages or so, seriously.

(Another reason you can skip this? This section is kind of like the camping section in Deathly Hallows: just when you're ready to kill yourself from boredom, you find out there's another hundred pages of it.)

I would also like to state this clearly and up front before I inadvertently offend someone: Babies are awesome!Collapse )

Okay, second thing: Roll call!Collapse )


Onward: Book Two, Jacob!Collapse )


Site Meter

Breaking Dawn, Book Three
twilight
cleolinda
I have to say, y'all, that what follows is possibly the most awesome crackfic of any of the series so far. I love it and kind of want to snuggle it a little. Seriously, I keep hearing about all the True Fans freaking out, and honestly? I don't see anything in the new book that wasn't in the previous three. As in, I don't get why you're offended now. I mean, yes, there's sex (yes, sex) and gore, and the previous section made me want to curl up and die, but I have no problems with Breaking Dawn that I didn't already have with the other three (frequently, vehemently, and at top volume), and Breaking Dawn is far better written on a purely stylistic level to boot. So.

In case you did take my warning and skip the second section, here's the upshot: No, really. NO REALLYCollapse )

Onward!Collapse )


(More Twilight recaps.)


Site Meter