Saw Proof last night, which was mostly good but partly disturbing, just in the sense that you walk out of the theater wondering if you're destined to go batshit at some point in your life. But I do have to finally admit to myself that I really like Gwyneth Paltrow on screen. I really, really dislike the way she presents herself--or is presented--in public and in the media, but I always end up liking her performances. Damn youuuuu, Paltrowwwww!

Before that we got pizza at Donato's, where I spilled an entire paper tumbler of Coke and ice but magically managed to miss 1) myself, 2) my clothes, 3) my dining partner, and 4) anything else that couldn't easily be wiped up with a napkin. Given that I am the Spill Queen, this is astonishing. Then I went and got a refill and spilled that right in front of the machine. ("Aww, swing and a miss!" said the guy behind me sympathetically. I would have appreciated it, except that I was too busy going, "What the hell are you talking about?") I managed to get out of there without wearing my food, which, again: astonishing. Unfortunately, we were deaf by the time we left, because we had managed to come on the one night a very young girls' soccer team decided to have its awards dinner--young enough that we got the normal cheering-type screaming every time someone got a trophy for Best Pigtails or Best Grass Stains or whatever, but also just random, earsplitting, whatthefuck shrieking.

So then, the movie, and then, shoe-shopping. The Lovely Emily is a terrible enabler, by the way--we always go shopping to find something specific that she wants, but I'm the one who ends up buying something. In this case, it was the cutest pair of Skechers ever--these, but in black and white. I still need a more athletic pair of sneakers, and probably something cute but warmer for when it's really cold, but the immediate shoe problem has been solved.

Speaking of shopping: I have learned that no matter what I say, no matter how weird it is, someone--or even several someones--will be like, "OMG ME TOO!" So I am going to talk about clothes, and how I fail at clothes, and I am not going to feel bad about it.

I just like to be comfortable. That's the bottom line. I don't go out much--well, I mean, I go out of the house, but I don't Go Out--and I'm proportioned in a hobbity fashion on top of that, so trendy stuff is usually right out. Which means that I neither have the need nor the inclination to change my wardrobe a lot, and it means I'm sort of pleasantly frumpy, but I don't really care, because when I'm trying to write, the hills do not need to be alive with the sound of fidgeting. T-shirts, solid colors, jeans, beat-up sneakers. Mostly blue, sometimes purple, although I went out of my way to get other colors this time.

Because that's the thing--I looked up and realized that, while holes and threadbare patches might be considered charming at home, it's going to be a bad scene if my entire wardrobe, such as it is, falls apart in the spin cycle. I got the first half of my advance last summer and spent a lot of that on a new computer; I got the second half this summer, after I turned in the manuscript, so I figured, okay, this year's major expense? Clothes. Like, enough that I don't have to do laundry twice a week just to have something to wear.

Also, I have no winter coat--I had a flabby oatmeal-colored fleece jacket that was sort of eh, and then last winter I got my stylin' black sweater coat, but... "YOU NEED SOMETHING WITH A LINING," as my mother insisted; I think she's been watching a little too much Day After Tomorrow, but with the hurricane season we've had, I'm not really in a position to argue with her.

So I bought a Berber coat in a soft green ("fir") that makes me look like a Pevensie (Queen Susan the Woolly?), and is awesome; a really pretty blue chenille sweater coat; a couple of really nice sweaters; and umpteen frillion v-neck tops of various textures and colors, short- and long-sleeved. (What? They were having a buy 2 get 1 free deal). I bought other necessities as well, of which we shall not speak here. The jeans I ordered on a trial basis were crap--thin material, and not so much bootcut as bellbottomy, so I'm trying again somewhere else. And then I got the shoes last night--I wanted something sneakery and then possibly Mary Janes, and managed to knock both out at once for the win.

So: dinner, movie, shopping. Then we went to the Garage, which as one of my out-of-town professors told us, was ranked (by Esquire? GQ? Somewhere in that neighborhood) as one of the top five bars in the world. It's the atmosphere, is what it is: the courtyard is formed by walls of, literally, garages, fronted with glass so you can see all the antiques (mostly white plaster statuary) stacked inside. The courtyard roof is like an arbor, draped with vines and Christmas lights. The courtyard itself is a jumbly maze of broken statuary, wrought iron chairs, wobbly stone tables, dead leaves and headless cupids. Also, they serve sandwiches. And based on the whiskey sour I had last night, which was more like a glass of whiskey that might have been daydreaming of sour mix before I interrupted it, it wouldn't surprise me if they made the top five based on the bartender's heavy hand alone.

Speaking of New Orleans: Shortcuts alleged in building levees. "Several of the levees that flooded New Orleans may have been built with shoddy materials or by contractors who took shortcuts to save money, an investigator told Congress Wednesday." I'm not even surprised by any of this anymore.

elbales: "STAB. (It's a link to a heinously selfish and idiotic patent application.)" Forget selfish--it's a patent that, if granted, will spark a massive, panicked attempt to patent every imaginable plot (Disney alone would be all over this), at which point no one will be able to publish anything. If the patent office doesn't laugh in this guy's face, we are all totally fucked.

Search for Escaped Inmate Goes Nationwide.

French Police Arrest 250 As Arson Grows.

im_so_awkward: Australia may solve Ripper mystery. I'm actually a huge Ripper buff (despite having been suckered by the Maybrick diaries--shut up!), so this will be very interesting, if they can find a DNA match.

Ashlee Simpson is an ass at McDonald's. With subtitles.

Federline Rap Posted on Internet.

Audioscrobbler. I wish they had a plug-in for MusicMatch, but Launchcast will do for now. I spent so much time on Launchcast back in the day that it's pretty finely tuned to my tastes, and since it won't involve me listening to the same song 600 times in a row, it'll probably be less embarrassing as well. I need to weed out the "What the hell?" songs it came up with, though ("Sex Dwarf"? TWICE?). Also, this on the front page won me over:

What you get when you sign up:
Personal music profile
Your own music charts
Friends and neighbours
Audioscrobbler plugin
Discussion groups and forums
Thousands of radio tracks
Your own music journal
Album art and artist stats
A pony

Harry Potter and the Cover of EW. "'I felt the children were rather...oh, stiff,' says Newell, 63. 'My view is that children are violent, dirty, corrupt anarchists. I was very anxious that [the franchise] break out of this goody-two-shoes feel.'"

New wands and "school supplies" at Alivan's. And new items at the Noble Collection as well--Hermione's Yule Ball earrings and the Triwizard Cup chief among them.

Daniel Radcliffe (16) dating an Irish hairstylist (23)?

ceinwyn_1: ‘Lost’ plane passenger to pen novel. 

Stock up, kids: "Coca-Cola Co., the world's largest soft drink maker, said on Friday it would phase out its Vanilla Coke, Vanilla Diet Coke and Diet Coke With Lemon beverages in the United States by end of this year. Coca-Cola added that it plans to introduce Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke and Black Cherry Vanilla Coke in the United States in January 2006." Hey, you know what's really good? A squeeze of fresh lemon in actual, regular Coke.

Porncasts Appear on Video-Playing iPod.


A bad review of the book in Total Film. I'm sad not because it's a bad review per se, but because actually getting a review in Total Film would have been a great opportunity to make people aware of the book, except that... they're telling them not to buy it. Apparently they're saying that they're funnier than the book--they did a Lord of War parody, although much briefer. Which is kind of assy--like, pan the book, but at least pretend like you're reviewing it objectively.

If Total Film will deign to review it, then, could y'all keep an eye on Empire? I'm curious to see if they'll review it too, and give it a yea or nay.

Tags: bars, m15m book, movie discussion, movies, music, reviews, shopping, the spill queen