Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Thursday evening, just before a bath
elizabeth potc
cleolinda
So, I'm getting better. I'd venture to say that I'm almost entirely well, except for some lingering fatigue and a mild-but-persistent cough. Except now my stomach's upset from the antibiotics, woe.

Had another one of my "God, what am I doing with my life?" moods, although I think my real problem is that I don't have more of them. It's easy and comfortable to just focus on getting through the moment and not worrying what you'll think five years from now. Sadly, the only times I really feel galvanized to make some changes are when actually doing anything is out of the question--lying awake at night, for example. I don't know. I've not been very keen on the idea of having kids for years upon years, but it was fairly recently--the last year or so--when I realized that I absolutely do not want to bear and raise young children. I could be a stepmother, or an aunt, or some kind of mentor, I don't know. But as far as actually procreating, I don't want to do it. I don't want to be pregnant, I don't want to go through childbirth, I have a number of physical and psychological ailments I'd be passing on, I can't really deal with kids until they're old enough to communicate. I like children in the abstract, and I'm glad that other people have children; I view them as just very small people, and, people being people, some of them are going to be awesome and some of them are going to be asshats, c'est la vie. I just don't want to have them.

And the funny thing is, I realized that I don't have that urge to have children, that worry about "living on" through them. I have the reproductive urge--it just expresses itself through writing. And while I was thinking about that specific concept today, I suddenly felt the very first ticking of that biological clock you hear so much about, and it was saying, If books are going to be your children, you might want to get on with that, because you're twenty-eight and you haven't published any kind of novel yet. Sure, twenty-eight is young, but it's old enough to be worried that you don't know what the hell you're doing. I already have a toe in the door, but Black Ribbon is just sitting there, set aside in its figurative drawer the way they tell you to, and I've been freewriting ideas to expand the story, but... it's all smoke and no fire, you know? Every few months I come up with some Fantastic New Idea and start worldbuilding, and then I set it aside again. Which is great, if you're writing as a hobby. It's not so great when you've thought of yourself as A Writer since you were five years old and it's what you wanted to do with your life and now you're almost thirty, what the hell. I don't really have any great piece of wisdom or inspiration to conclude with here--just several different ideas converging into this one terrifying thought that I'm letting time pass me by for no apparent reason.

Jeremy Bentham funeral what? Omg. Theories I've heard include that "Jeremy Bentham" is an assumed identity--it's definitely one of those philosophers that the writers love so much.

Dominic Monaghan/Cuse & Lindelof interviews. Alas, poor Charlie. I didn't really want anyone to die, but it was done so beautifully (bawling commenced when he crossed himself, y/n?) that I'm okay with it.

A radio interview with Michael "Benry" Emerson (spoilers refer only to Wednesday's episode(s), I think). P.S. "Dr. Richard Alpert IS staying the same age!"

(A thought I had during the commercials: Oh God! Are they really going through with the Geico Cavemen show? I thought everyone had come to their senses!)


Best Buy accused of overcharging buyers. Well, that's just like rain on your wedding day, or something.

Bad Ideas: Who Will Be 'The Ultimate Author'? A show that may prove that there are some things you cannot, in fact, turn into reality TV.

Grounded. This looks a lot like my day on dog duty, actually.

Knightley wins anorexia libel case.

Orlando Bloom sails onto new seas.

'Pirates' breaks box office record.
The third film in the Pirates franchise officially opens Friday in an all-time high of 4,362 theaters domestically, 110 more than the previous record-holder, Spider-Man 3. [...] To get a jump on the official release date Friday, many theaters scheduled early screenings of At World's End at 8 p.m. Thursday. Once it opens, the movie will be running around the clock at some cinemas to meet audience demand, said Chuck Viane, head of distribution for Disney.

"We hear there are theaters that once they open tonight will be open for 24 straight hours," Viane said Thursday.
Weirdly, there was only one screen initially scheduled at our Rave with two showings total (7 pm and 10:50 pm) on Friday night, but then, they did already have Spidey and Shrek taking up space (the Rave finally added at least one more screen, which is the one I'm going to--nine something). On the other hand, as much as the idea of a 24/7 POTC3 marathon amuses me, at least these theaters know what they're doing, since POTC2 practically broke out the press and started minting money.

Also, I keep seeing headlines for lukewarm or outright negative reviews for the movie. At one point, someone said, "Everything that was wrong with the second movie is back in the third," at which point I kind of went, "Well, I should enjoy the hell out of this, then."

Source Says 'Indy 4' Villain Is ... Evil Russian Cate Blanchett! After which she will hunt down Moose and Squirrel. Warning: A number of spoilers in the article, although most of the details will probably be common knowledge by the time they start running trailers.

'Macbeth' Trailer and Poster. THIS IS NOT THE BEAN/SWINTON MACBETH I WAS PROMISED. Also, it kind of looks like it should be headlined "FROM THE MAKERS OF UNDERWORLD !"

Bill Nighy wants to be in Harry Potter 6?

Exclusive Rescue Dawn Photos. The reason you care: Christian Bale.

Butler Off Watchmen?

New stills: The Golden Compass, POTC3.

He-Man Movie Confirmed. People, we did this once already, and it ended in tears.

So. Do I go print out what I have on Black Ribbon and facepalm over it for a few hours? Do I dare disturb the universe?


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I'm not in the exact same boat you are, but I'm in the one to your immediate left.

I don't want kids. I never have. My genetics, AFAIK, are fine; I've just never felt the urge to have children. Or be around children for any length of time, really.

And I'm also finding myself wondering more and more these days exactly what the hell I'm doing with my life. My jobs (there are three) pay the bills, but the thought of doing any of them for the rest of my life is incredibly depressing.

Oddly enough, I have this vague feeling that travel would somehow make things better. I don't know why, but something down the back of my head insists that just going someplace different for a little while would help me sort out what I should do once I get back here.