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OH SHIT YOU GUYS IT'S THE EDWARD DOLL PROTOTYPE

I THINK IT'S DOING THE DAZZLE FACE OMG

YOU GUYS IT'S GOT THE HAIR



(Over on The Shelf, I hear a very tiny, weary, "Oh, thank God.")

Anna pokes me in the ear with her dagger. "You don't have a bigger pic of Sparklepants than that?"

Look, it's not my picture--it was taken by someone who very considerately shared its terrible awesomosity with the world, okay?

"That's the dazzle face?"

"He must be dazzling someone just outside the frame or something."

"I can't believe you actually swooped in and asked that poor girl which company--"

LOOK, YOU WANTED TO KNOW, RIGHT?

"Well, he's definitely not sparkling."

"Hey, like I said, we can make this happen. Clearly he already dazzles, though, and that's what's important."

"To YOU. He doesn't have any weapons! Not a sword, nothing--even the Joker comes with a switchblade! Why don't we get one of him? "

"All right, Anna, that's enough of that. The Joker is much more expensive, and you know I don't like clowns."

"Hey, Edward is fine by me. I'd line up to get dazzled."

"Yeah, YOU WOULD."

Eowyn, that is not a very shieldmaidenly gesture--

"I think we're losing sight of more important things here, such as the fact that even the Edward doll is wearing beige."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"You be nice to that poor boy. That is a very high standard of quality for a figure that inexpensive.* I bet he won't cost much more than we did."

"Does that mean she can afford one for each of us? Because you can always take the beige off--"

EOWYN!



("Does this mean I'm a cougar?"

EOWYN! )



(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)


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macbethchild From: [info]macbethchild Date: September 21st, 2008 02:29 am (UTC) (Link)
("Does this mean I'm a cougar?")

*nearly pees self laughing*
diner From: [info]diner Date: September 21st, 2008 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Me, as well LOL
mamapduck From: [info]mamapduck Date: September 21st, 2008 02:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Dying a little at the not very shieldmaidenly geture.

[snork]
particle_person From: [info]particle_person Date: September 21st, 2008 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
See, I almost feel like that was Edward's line.
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siromygod From: [info]siromygod Date: September 21st, 2008 02:46 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG, that's flipping hysterical.
melaneynickel From: [info]melaneynickel Date: September 21st, 2008 02:47 am (UTC) (Link)
*LOL* I'm so glad I stumbled upon your blog - you make me laugh all the time and it's so wonderful!

And yes - he's got the hair - its amazing! It's actually fairly realistic looking when you are looking at it through a small, grainy cell phone picture. We'll see what it REALLY looks like on Black Friday when the movie comes out.
From: [info]sweet_pessimism Date: September 21st, 2008 02:47 am (UTC) (Link)
I think Anna and the Joker would get along well. But you'd have to look into getting some kind of doll insurance. You'd come home to find Arwen and Eowyn strapped to tiny explosives and gasoline cans, with the Joker all "CHOOSE ONE!" to Fugagorn.

..Does he come with a nurse outfit? You'd wake up in the morning with him sitting on the pillow, looking down at you. "Hi."
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 02:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, and Edward would be all fussy because the Joker's getting in the way of him watching me sleep.
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summersdaughter From: [info]summersdaughter Date: September 21st, 2008 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
AHAHAHAHAAA, OMG THE HAIR. <3333333
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 03:16 am (UTC) (Link)
And you know what? Actual bought-off-the-shelf dolls always have insane hair. Anna's is like this untameable fro, not the long, gently curling locks in the prototype pics. So you KNOW that the Edward doll is going to have major RPattz verisimilitude on that front.
last_archangel From: [info]last_archangel Date: September 21st, 2008 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
If he doesn't sparkle, you can always dunk him in that glitter-glue stuff that kindergartners use.
graydown From: [info]graydown Date: September 21st, 2008 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
You're probably the only person I know who will appreciate this story, so... I was at the local Renaissance Festival today, and saw a discreet little sign on one of the jewelry booths that said, "we have Belle's bracelet." Surely not, I thought, so I asked the nice lady what "Belle's bracelet" was. "Oh," she said. "Well, there's a series of young adult books about a vampire..."

"The one that sparkles?"

"Yes, I think so." And then some real customers distracted her. "Belle's Bracelet" was in a little glass box nailed to a post in the middle of the booth. I wish I'd seen it before I asked...
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Not the charm bracelet with the wolf and the crystal! Because, as a connoisseur of jewelry, I always thought that sounded... kind of lame.
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scornedsaint From: [info]scornedsaint Date: September 21st, 2008 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
omgomgomgomgomgomg

I need at least 3 of those. And then another 10 so I can give them out as stocking-stuffers.
saramiskismet From: [info]saramiskismet Date: September 21st, 2008 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)
I think we're losing sight of more important things here, such as the fact that even the Edward doll is wearing beige.

Sometimes, the world is just THAT fantastic.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 03:13 am (UTC) (Link)
I suspect it may be the lighting, because I checked the movie stills (yes, I am that lame), and the movie jacket's very gray. So either it's the lighting at the toy show, or someone at NECA has a sense of humor. All I know is, I have this ooooooone moment in tiiiiiiime where even the doll is really wearing beige.
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venusad From: [info]venusad Date: September 21st, 2008 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear, I can already foresee the fight I'm going to have to have with the bf as to exactly *why* a doll of RPattz is a necessity.

I think I'll get the Jacob when it comes out and put he and Edward in interesting positions together.
And then post it all over the 'net.

Is anyone else confused at the seeming lack of slash over those two? It's not like I'm a fan of it...I just think it's weird that he and Harry and Draco haven't ended up in a raging foursome somewhere yet.
saramiskismet From: [info]saramiskismet Date: September 21st, 2008 03:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I think this is a good plan.

Twilight has a lack of slash because somehow the slash fangirls are smart enough to stay away. They KNOW how much the canon shippers will eat them alive if they get too extravegant :3
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padawansguide From: [info]padawansguide Date: September 21st, 2008 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
LMAO!!
hippie_chick From: [info]hippie_chick Date: September 21st, 2008 03:12 am (UTC) (Link)
ROFLOL!
elendiari22 From: [info]elendiari22 Date: September 21st, 2008 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
So, because I'm naive...what's the significance of Edward wearing beige? I think I've missed something.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 03:33 am (UTC) (Link)
He's just always wearing beige in the books--beige leather jackets, beige sweaters (tight, the better to show off his Adonis musculature or whatever), beige pants, whatever. It's to the point where you kind of go... really? Beige? All the time?

Also, "beige" doesn't look like a word anymore.

Edited at 2008-09-21 03:34 am (UTC)
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thefireisblack From: [info]thefireisblack Date: September 21st, 2008 04:25 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a feeling by the time you get the Edward doll (assuming you only get one at a time ^^) you'll have to put him behind a fence like he was an exhibit at the zoo. Plus a sign of "do not handle" much to the visitor protest.

The dolls don't have a way of finding out where people live right? I doubt any of them would be very happy with this suggestion and Eowyn has a mean aim.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Let's just make sure Eowyn doesn't learn to use Google Maps...
celticwitch99 From: [info]celticwitch99 Date: September 21st, 2008 04:44 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG.

No, really? Because I thought RPattz was joking. Again. You know, to get the fangirls all riled up. Actually, if NECA wants to do that, they'd make an Edward doll dressed like this. Not biege, but there would be plenty of "Let's see what he's wearing under there..." And does it sparkle in the sun?

*snerk*

I need to put down my wine glass now.
dzertva_x From: [info]dzertva_x Date: September 21st, 2008 04:44 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey, speaking of Twilight, I don't know if you've heard about/seen the Japanese edition of the series, but... apparently they come with pictures!
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 04:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee, yeah, I had seen some of them before. But not so many!
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edda From: [info]edda Date: September 21st, 2008 04:56 am (UTC) (Link)
I can imagine the conversations Fugagorn and Edward would have. Well, one side of them, anyway.

--WHY WOULD BILL THE PONY BE IN TIJUANA? WHAT KIND OF SHOW DO YOU MEAN? HE SEEMED VERY SHY AND RETIRING IN THE MOVIE. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SMIRKING LIKE THAT, BUT IT LOOKS VERY UNCOUTH TO ME.
the_caytyf From: [info]the_caytyf Date: September 21st, 2008 05:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Dunno if you've seen this yet: http://galacticasitrep.blogspot.com/2008/09/dont-question-her-commitment-to-sparkle.html but I think a Breaking Dawn Recap shoutout makes more sense than a Donnie Darko one.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: September 21st, 2008 05:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Wasn't Mary McDonnell the mom in Donnie Darko, though?
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foresthouse From: [info]foresthouse Date: September 21st, 2008 06:35 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG THE HAAAAAIRRR! Hee.
lilgoala From: [info]lilgoala Date: September 21st, 2008 08:55 am (UTC) (Link)
So then Eowyn will finally be able to answer the popsicle question for us!
moogleybacon From: [info]moogleybacon Date: September 21st, 2008 08:59 am (UTC) (Link)
OH MY GOD. THAT IS AWESOME.

Yunno, I'm not much into dolls--much more of a poster girl; where you have the Secret Life of Dolls, I would have the Secret Life of Posters--but I kind of want to get Edward Dollen, if only to have an excuse to cover something with glitter. 'Cause I do love me some glitter.

(Funny story: For the Breaking Dawn release, my friends and I covered ourselves--and boy do I mean covered--with glitter, dressed in fairly skimpy outfits to better show off said glitter. Much lulz ensued.)

Also, I've always wondered: Can you get STD's from vampires? 'Cause if so, doll!Eowyn might want to watch out.
lalumena From: [info]lalumena Date: September 21st, 2008 09:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Does dazzling not count as a weapon? Heh.
madelrocio7 From: [info]madelrocio7 Date: September 21st, 2008 09:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL. I think it does.
nnneng From: [info]nnneng Date: September 21st, 2008 12:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
this doll is made of 5% plastic and 95% win.
omg it will totally win more if it SPARKLED you guys! OMFG. the idea is just fighting off all the chagrins in the world.
jharrison19 From: [info]jharrison19 Date: September 21st, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

OMG.

i want one soooo bad. i think the gray jacket makes it. OH! and the tiny ruffled jeans. AWESOME.
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Cleolinda Jones
User: [info]cleolinda
Name: Cleolinda Jones
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