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Well, I didn't see this coming
So my mother brought home another package from my PO box this morning (again, I don't know who it's from! You have to tell me so I can thank you! This is going to be so much fun, for real), and... well:

"Gladdy, you gotta get over here and represent again. We need the welcome wagon."

Lyra's showing her the alethiometer (Galadriel is always interested in the latest in divination technology), so she gets up with a little puff, but she's too gracious to look put out. She glides forward... and then she glides right back.

"Is this a glitch in the Matrix?"

"Just DO IT, Gladdy."


"So... welcome... noble prince. I am Galadriel, the Lady of... Lórien. Queen of Laurelindórenan. Daughter of the... House of... something. Finarfin? Finarfin."

"Many thanks, gracious lady," says Faramir, giving her a very low, courtly bow.

The rest of the gang has been wandering over, and now they all stop dead. And then they look over at the printer table where Faramir's been camping out.

Faramir looks up from restringing his bow.

See, this was the part that was really making me nervous. I mean, aside from any other considerations, you remember how freaked out Eowyn was to see another Eowyn. And, you know, Faramir's got all his issues and whatnot and he just got here and Eowyn's not even speaking to him--

So I wasn't quite expecting Faramir to jump up and hug Faramir and clap Faramir on the back. I guess he's just really happy to have someone else to camp out with?

"Oh, you have got to be shitting me."

"That's not even fair!"

I can't even describe the look on Eowyn's face. I can't quite explain it--it's not quite like she's seen a ghost, but it's definitely some flavor of "overwhelmed." Damn, I wish I knew what was going through her head right now. She folds her arms and stands there, wide-eyed, not sure what to do.

(I'll stop and say right here that somehow his belt is longer or more flexible or something than Fara... Faramir One's, so I was able to tie it in an actual knot like on the box. Also, I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to buckle on Faramir One's quiver, and I realize now it's because his buckle was put on facing the wrong way, whereas Faramir Two's is on correctly, which means Faramir's going to feel inferior again that we'll at least be able to tell them apart.)

(Also, I managed to break the tiny little strap, because I'm a dumbass. Faramir Two laughed and tied it back together in a jaunty double knot.)

"Have you killed anyone?"

"In the course of necessary battle, many."

"How many?"

"No more than I had to, but as many as was meet."

"Good. I like you."

So... I guess he's got the Silvertongue Seal of Approval, then.

He pats Lyra's shoulder. "I thank you for your welcome, and I look forward to getting acquainted with... " He stops when his glance reaches the Arwens and the Aragorns, and his eyes seem to linger for a moment, but then he picks up again: "... this fine company."

They all look at him.

They all look at Eowyn.

They all look at me.

"All right, all right! Get back to... whatever it is you do. Go braid some pipeweed or whatever."

And then, while the crowd is dispersing (with nosy reluctance), he ambles over to Eowyn, who still hasn't moved.

"That's a lovely dress," he says.

"Oh... why... thank you," says Eowyn, blushing.

"It's so easy for white to wash out a blonde, but it's really a flattering color on you. And that belt is fantastic."

"... Oh."

"Oh? ...Oh."

What? What is it?

... Oh.


(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)


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bluinkalchemist From: [info]bluinkalchemist Date: January 24th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
What a perfect way to end my workday.

I sometimes wish my Transformers were this lively. Sometimes.
zeroxgirl1201 From: [info]zeroxgirl1201 Date: January 24th, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ugh, I wished that very same thing. Now I wish they'd shut up. It wouldn't be so bad if there weren't so stinkin' many.
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erinlin From: [info]erinlin Date: January 24th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
...Oh this is going to be priceless.
eisoj5 From: [info]eisoj5 Date: January 24th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
...Oh.

*dies and is dead*
diddakoi From: [info]diddakoi Date: January 24th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is made of win and sunshine. I was wondering how she was going to resolve that....
jettcat From: [info]jettcat Date: January 24th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh EM GEE!
You know just how to brighten up a gray and dripping afternoon!
rissa333 From: [info]rissa333 Date: January 24th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Definitely seeing some promise here with Faramir Two.
sevenmarie From: [info]sevenmarie Date: January 25th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

f2

yeah... except i think he might be a little on the gay side??
aestasbeyond From: [info]aestasbeyond Date: January 24th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh...


This just made my day at least three times better.

We're being spoiled by these frequent entries.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: January 24th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know, I'm actually afraid of wearing out their welcome, and even before I only posted when I had some specific kind of prompt--oh, look, here's a news item about a new doll or whatever--so they'd be more like an occasional treat. But... well. There's been a number of new developments over the last two months.
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skye_writer From: [info]skye_writer Date: January 24th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I almost died laughing just now.

I'm not a very frequent commenter, but I thought I'd mention that I really love the Secret Life of Dolls posts; they're a lot of fun and brighten my day.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: January 24th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, thanks.
mellie From: [info]mellie Date: January 24th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love your dolls so!much.
roseredhoofbeat From: [info]roseredhoofbeat Date: January 24th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
OH MY GOD IT'S A GAY FARAMIR.

*DIES*
From: [info]thisiamdenied Date: January 24th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
OKAY, I AM GLAD YOU SAID THAT BECAUSE I'M SLOW. :| I wondered at first if it just meant they were bonding and Faramir One would feel more inferior, but okay, yeah, I'm just dumb to the third degree. v.v;
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anthraxpretzels From: [info]anthraxpretzels Date: January 24th, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
popcorn Pictures, Images and Photos
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: January 24th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heeeee, well played.
mythicvictory From: [info]mythicvictory Date: January 24th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
**waves hand from back, looking geeky and embarrased**

Um...Oh means he's gay, yes?

And suddenly I'm Captain Hammer restating what the hammer is...
*cringes*
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: January 24th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
*cringes*

I've always been very--I don't want to say "prudish," because I do have a very dirty sense of humor at times, but... I like my dirty jokes to attack by stealth. So we will proceed with discretion and delicacy. ; )
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erinya From: [info]erinya Date: January 24th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wait, what? Why is everyone saying "oh"?

*reads again*

Oh. Heh. This is going to be interesting.
flamingtoilet From: [info]flamingtoilet Date: January 24th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would do the secret lives of wrestling figures, but I'm not sure Razor Ramon and Bushwhacker Luke would be nearly this fun.
maudelynn From: [info]maudelynn Date: January 24th, 2009 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
i am telling you, stop action videos had best be forth coming!!!
cassildra From: [info]cassildra Date: January 24th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm tempted to do The Secret Life Of My Boyfriend's Transformers... but I don't know if he'd freak out or not XD
letloverule42 From: [info]letloverule42 Date: January 24th, 2009 10:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG...I'm so tempted to do the same with my husband's...although I think he'd help me with it....
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mogumogu From: [info]mogumogu Date: January 24th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sorry, girl, only action figures are straight, and even that's debatable.


(I forgot which magazine it was, but you know that lineup of entertainment magazines--Okay, Star, In Touch, and Life and Style? Well, one of them, at the top, has a little box that says that RPatz is lonely and it has this little picture of man in question with a :( face. It's tragic, but funny)
angelene From: [info]angelene Date: January 24th, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Um, I'm confused by the 'Oh' part. What is it supposed to me-? Oh! Oh.
From: [info]elisa0984 Date: January 24th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh my.
laughingacademy From: [info]laughingacademy Date: January 24th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
...Oh.

I just barked like a seal at my computer.

ETA: Hey, no wonder new!Faramir is better accessorized.

Edited at 2009-01-24 11:59 pm (UTC)
ohkaye From: [info]ohkaye Date: January 24th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love this series. :D
r_a_black From: [info]r_a_black Date: January 24th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
That is hilarious, omg. And I'm sure many have said this to you already, (heck I'm not sure I haven't said this already) but your The Secret Life of Dolls entries actually help me in my great dislike and fear of dolls.

Oh, and have you seen this icon before? I think you might appreciate it.
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: January 24th, 2009 10:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, yes--I think I saw it over at sparklefield? Lawl.

(You know, I can't actually do a Secret Life book with *these* dolls, given the character copyright issues involved--the Tolkien estate alone would sue me into next week--but I'm starting to feel like I need to do some kind of children's/picture book to help people get over their fear of dolls.)
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hollyxu From: [info]hollyxu Date: January 24th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
OH.

ROFL.
everstar3 From: [info]everstar3 Date: January 24th, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dammit, I can't laugh this hard with a cold or I'll suffocate. XD

I think you're going to need another Aragorn

Edited at 2009-01-24 10:24 pm (UTC)
kellyrfineman From: [info]kellyrfineman Date: January 24th, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cannot wait to find out what the next installment will bring!
snacky From: [info]snacky Date: January 24th, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ahahahahahahahaha OH. Ahahahahahahahahaha.

If I ever get down your way, the Pevensies are coming to visit. They totally need some fun. ;)
cleolinda From: [info]cleolinda Date: January 24th, 2009 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yay! I think Lyra and Edmund would get along well.
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Cleolinda Jones
User: [info]cleolinda
Name: Cleolinda Jones
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