Occupation: Girl - Quick catchup linkspam before dinner

05:20 pm June 19th, 2009




			Occupation: Girl - Quick catchup linkspam before dinner Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

cleolinda


	Quick catchup linkspam before dinner
	It's been a bad week, in terms of the depression thing. I'm just at a point where I'm afraid to talk about it. I finally let my mother in on the severity of it, and she immediately went into I JUST WANT TO FIX IT mode. And she knows she did, and she knows she can't. BUT OMG IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN DO TO FIX IT? NO REALLY, IS THERE? I've made about six different attempts at this paragraph and backspaced them all. My inner Elinor is flaring up and I'm afraid to say anything about how I feel now, because mostly I feel moldy and selfish and unmotivated on the best of days, and hellaciously cranky/stupidly weepy on the worst. And I am so, so afraid that if I don't post regularly enough (mmm, aged news! Delicious), readers are going to wander away, but I know I have to hold off if that's what I need to do. And meanwhile, I want to talk about this the way I usually talk about depression, but I just--can't. I don't know. Maybe I'll do a voice post or something--I feel like y'all would need to hear from my actual tone of voice that I'm not falling to pieces over this. It's just... heavy. And please know that even when I'm not posting, I'm flagging stories for later, not all of which I even end up using. So really, I am keeping up with things, and if I don't compile a linkspam, you can still see what's going on there, if you want. Re: Tonner SDCC exclusives: They're apparently going to be selling whatever's leftover on the direct site, so I think I'm going to try that (or eBay) rather than ask an unknowable number of readers to try to track down a slightly variant Tonner Edward. As much as I appreciate y'all offering--and, I mean, I did ask--I'm just not sure how that would not end up being a total clusterfuck, since no one would know if anyone else had managed to get one, and we'd end up, with, like, seven. Also: they're going to have a Black Canary exclusive as well. Also-also: I think I have found the Uhura I want. Linkspam: Legendary CBS journalist Walter Cronkite reportedly gravely ill. ‘Persepolis’ Creator Marjane Satrapi Decries Iran’s Election Results. Pixar grants girl's dying wish, makes entire internet cry. 'Idol' belter Carly Smithson's new band falls into place. Basically... she's now leading what used to be Evanescence - (Amy Lee + actual name "Evanescence")? I am... surprisingly okay with this. Images: Exclusive 'Sherlock Holmes' character posters; New Robin Hood Set Photos, More Robin Hood Set Photos; Monica Bellucci Works Her Magic ('The Sorcerer's Apprentice'); Gorgeous Italian Poster for Tarantino's 'Inglourious Basterds'; An image of the new Freddy Krueger—that is, about as close as we're going to get for now; Deadpool Could Have Looked So Much Cooler In Wolverine [Concept Art]; Another Crazy New Poster for Christian Alvart's 'Pandorum.' Trailers and spots: The new '2012' trailer will make you cry tears of fire and carnage; Woody Harrelson's Zombie Slayer Movie Is More Whimsical Than We Realized ['Zombieland']; New 'Fame' Trailer Launched; ‘Whiteout’ Theatrical Trailer Leaks Online; The Trailer for 'The Stepfather' Hits (related: 'The Stepfather' Poster); The Official Trailer for 'Grace' is Born. trailer_spot: Creation, Love Happens, Thirst, Fame, Last Ride. New 'Public Enemies' pics; 2 New 'Public Enemies' Clips. Nolan's 'Inception' Starts Production in Japan; Is Christopher Nolan Giving Up On Batman 3? 'Transformers' Meets 'Cloverfield' in These Viral Ads; 7 more images from 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.' Will These Five New Posters and a TV Spot Save G.I. Joe? Extended 'G.I. Joe' TV Spot: Will There Be Slow, Deliberate Clapping Too? Olivia Munn Joins ‘Iron Man 2’ In Unspecified Role. Frank Marshall Confirms 'Indy 5' IS On the Horizon. Neil Burger Set to Bring Us a New 'Bride of Frankenstein.' Well... I adored The Illusionist, so I'll give it a shot. New HBP posters; Wizarding World of Harry Potter Starting to Hire; Opening in January of 2010?; Get Your Own Pair of SpectreSpecs with Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince Deluxe Gift Book. 'Remember Me' set pics; Robert Pattinson & Emilie De Ravin: Kissing Couple, in which you can sense onlooking fangirls seething behind a barrier twenty feet away. I mean, I'm just guessing here. Meanwhile: Let's start a fancy campaign to leave RPattz alone! Then he is grazed by a cab while running away from screaming women. 'The Proposal' engages when focus is on Bullock, Reynolds; Script doesn’t live up to chemistry in ‘Proposal.’ Don't mark your calendar for 'Year One'; Add ‘Year One’ to list of biblical plagues. Woody Allen's 'Whatever Works' doesn't. Kenneth Branagh Taking ‘Very Shakespearean’ Approach to ‘Thor,’ Says Joe Quesada. Check This Out: Viral Game Launched for Shane Acker's '9'; '9' Viral Site Tells Story Before the Film. Brody, Whitaker, Wood and Gigandet Join 'The Experiment.' Carey Mulligan is Gordon Gecko's Daughter? EXCLUSIVE: Megan Fox Says ‘Jonah Hex’ Is Shooting For Sequels; Bad News, Boys: Megan Fox Role in ‘Jonah Hex’ Merely a Cameo. New poster, trailer, sites for the Korean vampire thriller 'Thirst.' Special Agent Dale Cooper Heads Back to 'Twin Peaks'? M. Night Shyamalan Still Considering ‘Unbreakable’ Sequel. Hallelujah! Sean Penn Backs Out of 'The Three Stooges' ... and Unfortunately, Hollywood Too. Aren't You Getting So Freaked Out About 'Brüno'? [Impending Doom]; Sacha Baron Cohen bares it all for GQ; Baron Cohen appears as bull in Spain. Uh... may not be safe for work. Michael Clayton's Tony Gilroy is Rewriting 'Red Dawn'?! Guess the Next '80s Remake/Sequel/Nostalgia Murder! (Hint: Think Lycanthropy and Adolescence). The Kind Of Guy Who Deserves To Be Eaten By Giant Mosquitoes [Found Footage]. Tags: 9, american idol, batman, books, conventions, crazy, depression, dolls, fame, harry potter, indiana jones, inglourious basterds [sic], iron man, movies, music, pixar, public enemies, remember me, robin hood, sherlock holmes, sparkle motion, star trek, thirst, tonner, twilight, vampires, werewolves, wtf, zombies Current Mood: blah Current Music: Eleanor McEvoy - Whisper a Prayer to the Moon

85 comments or Leave a comment


	Comments Page 1 of 3 [1] [2] [3]

	From: wendyzski	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC)		(Link)

I've actually been worried about you, and am glad that you posted. I'm sorry things are so rough now - we'll be waiting when you're ready.

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	From: ladychi	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:37 pm (UTC)		(Link)

My mom and dad did the same thing when I told them how bad my depression was, too. If you need to take a break, take a break -- although I found my internet-activities soothing and ritualistic.

I know it's hardest to talk about depression when you're in the deepest throes of it. I wish you relief as soon as possible, and I'm crossing my fingers for you.

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	From: jennawaterford	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:41 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Hyperventilating slightly about the Black Canary doll. She's my girl, my heroine, one of the only three characters whose dopplegangers will make me drop wads of cash (see also, Death, Buffy) and frankly BC wins for her ability to break down my resistance. *glances sideways at BC Barbie*

*breathes into bag* No, I can live without this. I can. I can just... *wheeze*

Well, we'll wait and see what she looks like first...

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	From: phurie_dae	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:41 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Yeah, we're not going anywhere. Relax, we CAN get your own news - I think most of us are here for your fun spin on things, and we can wait for that until you feel better again!

On a personal note, the way you talk about depression, or try to, makes perfect sense to me. I hope you get back to having energy and feeling content again soon.

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	From: quizzicalsphinx	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:42 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Husband has been in "HERE LET ME FIX IT" mode since my depression took a hard jerk south last week. And I've been going through the whole talking-about-it-makes-it-sound-way-worse-than-it-is-and-it's-already-pretty-fucking-bad thing, too. Just talk about it however you need to. It's your space, after all.

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	From: persian_freak	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:42 pm (UTC)		(Link)

I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through, but I just wanted to let you know that it's a-ok if you just wanna get out and that the majority of us will keep checking until you feel well enough to get back. And I'm not saying that to pressure you or anything, just saying that you won't lose people if you decide that you're human and that you need some time to take care of yourself.

Regardless, thank you for being amazing, and don't strain yourself because you feel *obligated*.

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	From: mrs_bruin	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:48 pm (UTC)		(Link)

nicely put. MTE. Take care of yourself Cleo! We'll be here when you're ready to post again.

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	From: redheadedali	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC)		(Link)

If we could leave cookies in the comments, I'd totally leave you some. I hope you feel better soon.

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	From: kittybacklash	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Your health and happiness is the main concern of everybody who reads your stuff (except the jerks, and well...you can do without them) so please please don't worry about your posting frequency. We'll be waiting : )

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	From: michawhiplash	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)		(Link)

Exactly. AND you do the Friend Feed thing (http://friendfeed.com/cleolinda - if you haven't heard... where ya been?), which is more awesome than anyone needs to be! You are too kind to us!

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	From: padawansguide	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Hang in there, ok? :-(

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	From: jubilantia	Date: June 19th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)		(Link)
	hugs and hugs

I'm thinking about you. I don't have any personal experience with depression, but some of my friends and family have been impacted, and I know it sucks royally, often being sneakily chemically based. Don't worry, we all think you are awesome and will be here when you pull out of the Pit of Despair... and while you're in the Pit of Despair... and desperately trying to keep you from falling in again once you get out. Anything we can do, let us know. Even if that thing happens to be understanding that we can't help.

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	From: annalynnlaughs	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:05 am (UTC)		(Link)

I'm a long-time lurker, pretty-much-first-time commenter (God, that makes it sound creepy), but I just wanted to say that everyone's here for you. I've seen, and know, the way people care about you, the way people listen and believe in and look up to you, just from reading comments on your posts. No one is going anywhere.

And obviously I can't know exactly what you're feeling, but I can relate to the cranky, useless, terribly emotional way depression can make you feel. But we're all here for you. You really don't need to worry about that.

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	From: r0ck3tsci3ntist	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:06 am (UTC)		(Link)

Please keep in mind that the internet isn't everything. Take the time you need to take care of yourself. ♥

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	From: wumbawoman	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC)		(Link)

More important than you posting is you.

Hope you feel better soon.

&hearts

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	From: editornia	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)		(Link)

You go and take all the time you need, sweetie. I'll still be here when you come back. I'll still read. :) *HUGS*

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	From: particle_person	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)		(Link)

I'm sorry things are so bad right now. I don't think there's anything else to say but *HUG*.

I don't know if this applies to you at all, but I find that when everyone is being OMG SO CONCERNED it can be as bad (or worse) than having nobody notice.

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	From: lylassandra	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:28 am (UTC)		(Link)

If you don't take care of yourself first, you have nothing left for anyone. I hope you feel better soon-- I'll be praying for you.

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	From: mazarin221b	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:29 am (UTC)		(Link)

Sorry to hear you're in the valley right now. Been there, done that, therapy and meds included. Fortunately the low times have gotten less severe, and of much shorter duration as I've gotten older (save for the hellfire of postpartum...Tom Cruise can suck it), and while I can't know your specific situation, I hope the same happens for you. All the best, Cleo. Mi

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	From: litlover12	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)		(Link)

Moms do tend to do that, don't they? Don't be hard on yourself. We don't want you to feel any pressure. You just do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

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	From: glimmerata	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)		(Link)

We all love and care about you. We'll never stop reading either. I know you need to figure this out on your own, but I'm sure we would all do anything to help you if we could.

And FYI, I'm on vacation in Seattle right now and spent about two days on the Olympic Peninsula. I went to Port Angeles AND Forks, and was amused loudly and at great length to see how the local merchants and hotel/motels have jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. There is a sign on a motel in Forks that reads "Home of the Twilight heated pool," one outside a produce stands that proclaims "Bella Shops Here" and another outside a pharmacy that reads "Bella's First Aid Station." Not to mention that "Bella's truck" is sitting outside some establishment, and the diner from the movie is decorated in movie posters so you know that it's, well, the diner from the movie. And there are also Twilight chain stores! "Dazzled by Twilight" is located in both Port Angeles and Forks. I didn't go in because there was nowhere to park, but was ~~chagrined~~ charmed to see how the Port Angeles location is cunningly located just across the street from La Bella Italia.

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	From: chris_walsh	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)		(Link)

"Bella's First Aid Station."

Showing (I hope) that they're doing this with a sense of humor. (Oh, and that made me laugh out loud.)

That's happened to a slight extent in the places where the first film actually was shot -- the inn up in the Columbia River Gorge where the dance was filmed mentions it in its promos -- but not nearly so much of the "lookameeeee!" thing. And it's not like "Oo! that's where they filmed at SE 10th and Belmont!!!" would be much of a draw.

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	From: dragonsblog	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)		(Link)

I read an interesting article on depression and the stigma around mental issues. Thought I'd throw it out there, maybe some of your readers would find it helpful.

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	From: kveran	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:46 am (UTC)		(Link)

Fellow depressive checking in. Take care of yourself. We the readers get it and will wander right back.

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	From: snapdragon76	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:48 am (UTC)		(Link)

As someone who has depressive episodes now and then (although never formally diagnosed I do have a family history of it), I totally understand where you're coming from. If you need to take a breather and get everything all sorted, you totally have that right. Don't worry about keeping us entertained. After all, you're not a performing monkey in heels.

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	From: r_a_black	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)		(Link)

Take your time with whatever you need to do to get back into feeling comfortable. We'll still be here when you get back. ~~I mean it's not like I made my lj five years ago because of you or anything.~~

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	From: orangepecco	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC)		(Link)

oh my goodness clio. emotionalities and strange depressing states of mind are scary sometimes...but don't be afraid that just because you're taking YOU time, means that we're going to give up on you! you've still brought so much joy and giggles into our life, how could we just turn our backs on your just cause life isn't always so great? that would be lamexcore.

we love you, always!!! hopin' and prayin' you and your mind get better soon. <3

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	From: amelia_petkova	Date: June 20th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC)		(Link)

I finally let my mother in on the severity of it, and she immediately went into I JUST WANT TO FIX IT mode. And she knows she did, and she knows she can't. BUT OMG IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN DO TO FIX IT? NO REALLY, IS THERE?

I think this is definitely a mother thing (though keep in mind I could be missing some bits, as I'm nowhere near being a parent myself). Mine reacts much the same way, whether related to emotions or when I was freaking out over math in high school. She goes into, "I have to make things better for my kid and I WILL do it!" even though sometimes there's nothing she can do and I just told her so she'd be aware. It must be a horrible feeling, to know that one (or more) of your children is in such a rough spot but there's (almost) nothing you can do about it. So there's my two cents.

I've had trouble with depression, too. Due to a variety of things, I had a mini-breakdown in my freshman year of college and went on Prozac (the smallest dose) for a couple of years, as well as talking with a therapist occasionally. I was lucky enough to be able to go off the medication eventually, though there are still some problems at times. Good luck with everything.

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	From: havocs_roman	Date: June 20th, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)		(Link)

It must be a horrible feeling, to know that one (or more) of your children is in such a rough spot but there's (almost) nothing you can do about it.

THIS. I can talk about virtually everything with my mum, and I still avoid bringing up my depression of years ago, because I've noticed she'll just get extremely upset that she couldn't help me through it and that she can't do anything about the way it still affects me (as these things do). I can't imagine seeing one's kid going through an actual rough spot and being powerless. It must feel anti-nature. And it must be something of a vicious circle, in that the depressed party wants to talk about it, but has no-one who'll listen without freaking out, and the "listeners" will freak out more when the depressed party is quiet. It's just awful all around.

That said, no matter how incredibly hard/not-as-hard-as-it-sounds the current times actually are for you, Cleo, the last thing on your mind should be "How will people react if I don't post for a while?" Your health must come first. All the readers that matter will be right here when you're back.

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