Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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A rare literal use of the "sparkle motion" tag



And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.Twilight has quickly become a worldwide phenomenon developing a strong core base of dedicated fans who are drawn to the story of a Romeo & Juliet style romance between mortal (Bella) and vampire (Edward). Who better to capture the young star-crossed love of these two characters than Barbie & Ken. Edward is luminescent with a shimmering complexion and trademark gold eyes. Bella doll sold separately.

"You have to--"


"Forgive me, I did not mean to sneak up on you."

"Just--GOD. NEXT TIME--"

"You have to get one."

"Hmpshppppffff? Why in THE WORLD would you want YET ANOTHER you running around? Two of you is trouble enough, AND you'd have competition for food. AND IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE YOU! I mean, you don't look entirely like you, but the likeness is decent! This one's just--I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS. Not of the Lord, that's what it is. And fug."

"But it actually sparkles."

You will forgive me if I stare uncomprehendingly.

"We can throw it to the tender mercies of those girls," he says. "It might even distract them for an afternoon, before they tore it to pieces."

"... You are diabolical."

"Better it than me."


"Look at that thing--it is--a thing."

"Well, that's exactly why I'm not buying it. That Thing is not entering the house."

"Not even for an afternoon? Surely it wouldn't survive more than a day, perhaps two at the most--"


"But today is my birthday," he says pitifully, lifting his tiny golden eyes to mine.

"Are you--are you dazzling me?"

"... Am I?"


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OMG that is horrific. Don't succumb, Cleo! Don't let Big Edward dazzle you!

PLEASE. I do have SOME pride.

You know, I think I can sympathize with him. o_O

(Also, happy birthday to the Edwards.)

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I don't know what's worse, that Barbie did a Bella and Edward or that they're the only ones who actually thought to make Edward glitter.

Still, I'd been wondering how Big Edward would react when he saw a picture of a Bella closer to his own size.

Ho ho! So Tonner Edward isn't above using newborns for cannon fodder like in Eclipse! But if he's supposed to go by the Narnia rule... Can Ken dolls talk?

xDDDD That's what I want to know; you'd think, instead of getting excited over a decoy for the other girls, he'd be more excited over a Bella who's taller than his knees (if that).

Well, at least he keeps us guessing? xD

(...I'm half tempted to run over to Toys R US come October just to see how bad this thing is, if they release him in the stores. xD)


I wonder how sparkly it actually is in real life.

Well, I'm sure someone will send us pictures of a sparkenpire in the wild.

I love how the description is all about Edward and then- "Belladollsoldseparately."

I know! If there were any justice in the world - or if Mattel read the series instead of just licensing it - she would not be sold separately because we all know she has no meaning without him . . .

LOL forever at "Are you dazzling me?" "...Am I?" "NO!"

I AM SO TORN. I did not expect to feel this way.

On the one hand...surely it is not of the Lord, or of anything good, and should be shunned.

But on the other hand...imagine the shenanigans!


I am so sincerely appalled, I cannot even tell you. I hate the way Mattel puts out horrific looking movie dolls rather than even attempt a character likeness of any kind.

Oh my god, why is my brain telling me to buy that horrible thing? I don't even collect dolls (or Twilight stuff), and yet I sort of think I need it.


Though, I'd buy it for a friend. She... she would find it funny.


I kind of like douche!Edward for that exchange. XD

Is it wrong that I sort of decided Doucheward is my favorite? I really need to reevaluate why asshats appeal to me.

Well, I enjoy writing him, and it probably shows.

LMFAO omg i should've read this before the twitter lol.

to continue our WTF MATTEL conversation. i bought said drawn on barbie doll to put it on ebay. then i got lazy. and forgot. then learned i could get fired if they found out i'm a tru employee. so i took it back (i needed the money back anyway).

but it was done before the rest of production, because you could see the marker UNDER HER EYES. so they drew on it, then painted on her face etc, packaged it up, and sent it off to whichever lucky toys r us would get it.

we had a field day. lol.

Heh, I just now posted this--this kind of grew out of my Twitter outburst.

He looks blue.

He is not a vampire. HE'S A ZOMBIE.



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