Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Okay, Bella Freakin' Swan pouring her heart out to a cactus was pretty dern awesomesauce, but I still cannot get over this, which is easily the best part of the entry:

"My tiny angel--if she could forgive my enormous monstrosity--my monstrous enormity--she could be my tiny Fay Wray."

I...words: I don't even...no, I can't...no. It defies them.

I laughed so hard that I scared my gf. Just saying'.


Now all I picture is Edward Kong on the Empire State Building holding a grumpy tiny Bella and trying to fend off planes

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