So I just had what psychiatric literature generally refers to as "a motherfucking meltdown." (My mother's current pet phrase for this is "a come-apart.") Well, I mean, I had it about three hours ago. I was testing Camille out on various outlets upstairs and--it's not happening. It turns on but I'm not getting to the OS on any of them. I don't know if the ASUS sucks or EVERY SINGLE OUTLET IN THE HOUSE sucks or if maybe Camille is just so super-powered that mere mortals like us cannot run her. All I know is, I had to drag the monitor and its four serpentine cords to and fro just to get to the outlets, and my room is a wreck (stacked with boxes and piles of I don't even know what, in an attempt to reorganize) because there is no ROOM in my room and I finally just started throwing things. For half an hour. Solid. (This was my idea of "cleaning." By the time I had raged myself out, I had two garbage bags full of junk to take outside.) The fact that I spent most of my tantrum snarling "EVERYONE IS ALLOWED TO GET ANGRY EXCEPT ME. EVERYONE. EXCEPT. ME" may indicate that... uh... there are some other issues at play here.
Also, I am pretty sure I broke my mp3 player in the process.
I give up. Camille, my sweet, I do not think we were meant to be. I'm going to get a Dell. I know, Dells are awful and you hate them, I should get a Mac (and LET ME TELL YOU, INTERNETS, the next person to so much as UTTER a word that even STARTS with "mac"--macaroni; mackintosh; macadam--will get MY FOOT up THEIR ASS. Macs are great and if you have one I love you but seriously, I do not EVER want to hear that word again). I have always used Dells, and each time they have lasted five years or more. They are safe and comforting and I understand them. There is no point in even arguing with me at this point, because Dude, I Am Getting A Fucking Dell and that is all there is to it. If I can get Best Buy to refund everything--including the Geek Squad service contract--I'll order it from Dell's site rather than buy it off the shelf.
My sister has got the hots for laptops right now, I don't even know, and she's very nearly talked me into getting one (~OMG DELL LAPTOPS ARE AWFUL HDU~), except that you can't really take them apart or add anything to them, and I suspect they're less badass than desktops, in terms of hardware specs. But it is a STONE BITCH to unhook that monitor, even though it's a flatscreen, and move it around to a card table to face the TV so I can live-blog awards season, and a laptop would solve that problem. I'd get one with the biggest screen/keyboard I can find--basically, an all-in-one desktop that's more easily moved, is what I'm looking at. I'm not really going to need to tote it anywhere. I don't even know. I've never used a laptop as my primary computer before--I've used borrowed ones but never owned one--and we fear change. See what change got us, CAMILLE? Whatever. I am tired of this. I don't care. Make it go away.
Also, I want to dig a hole in the backyard and curl up in it and die. Maybe between the new azaleas. I am very near the end of my rope regarding this entire clusterfuck.
- Compocalypse '09: The Rage