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cleolinda

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I can't believe I'm doing this
twilight3
cleolinda
August 21st, 2009
Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)



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( Read 133 comments — Leave a comment )

cleolinda

2009-08-21 02:35 pm (UTC)

I suppose it could be worse--the reaction of Earth's entire population could be, "I have to SEND Cleo one of these!"
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queenanthai

2009-08-21 02:42 pm (UTC)

You know you just gave someone an idea, right?
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cleolinda

2009-08-21 02:50 pm (UTC)

Please. If they would actually do it, they'd have thought of it by now. If anyone's going to, it's probably already waiting in my PO box as we speak.
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queenanthai

2009-08-21 02:59 pm (UTC)

I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. You might need it after the past couple of weeks. XD
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cleolinda

2009-08-21 03:00 pm (UTC)

I'm surprised they didn't name it The Unicorn, honestly.
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dwg

2009-08-21 03:56 pm (UTC)

Okay, that just makes that fic where orgasms = unicorns even worse now.
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beachlass

2009-08-21 04:53 pm (UTC)

Shhh... Dop't tell her you can buy unicorn themed dildos. She's having a hard enough week.
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cleolinda

2009-08-21 06:09 pm (UTC)

Oh, I was absolutely sure you could. I was just half-thinking that they'd name an actual Twilight toy "The Unicorn" because of that one fanfic.
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cleolinda

2009-08-21 09:24 pm (UTC)

YOU KNOW THE ONE, WITH ORGASMS CALLED UNICORNS, WE DISCUSSED THIS please don't make me find it.
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lisa_zj

2009-08-21 03:02 pm (UTC)

Hahahahahahaha! oh noes, hahahahaha! OMG, dying. Just. ded.
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octotoes

2009-08-21 03:16 pm (UTC)

I'm at work so I can't bring myself to click on the link...just please, PLEASE tell me they don't describe it as being made out of marble, granite, or any other *hard* substance.
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celticwitch99

2009-08-22 02:19 am (UTC)

Oh god. I was at work when I opened it and immediately sent an email to over half the people I work with. Hilarity ensued, along with discussions on different flavors of popsicles for...certain purposes.

Srsly. The people in my department are warped, but in a good way.
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karmyn75

2009-08-21 03:01 pm (UTC)

Give it a few weeks. It's not officially released yet.
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goldenusagi

2009-08-21 03:06 pm (UTC)

Now I'm picturing The Littlest Edward standing next to the sparklecock. There doesn't need to be a story, really, just a picture...
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robinmc

2009-08-21 04:01 pm (UTC)

That's just what his inferiority complex needs.
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salamandersam

2009-08-21 04:16 pm (UTC)

My suggestion if someone does send you one? Sell that sucker on ebay.
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cleolinda

2009-08-21 05:57 pm (UTC)

Well, I would definitely take pictures of it. I would probably be laughing too hard to hold the camera straight, though.

(THIS IS NOT A REQUEST TO BE SENT ONE)

(I WOULD PROBABLY DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT)
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darksumomo

2009-08-22 05:52 am (UTC)

My reaction is "Hey, I found a guy talking about this and he probably doesn't even know Cleo. I'll tell Cleo about him.

Seriously, check out his blog especially the entries tagged Totally Irrelevant Crap. You might have something in common.

And, no, he's not me. I'm Neon Vincent there.
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( Read 133 comments — Leave a comment )
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