Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

Previous Entry Add to Memories Share Next Entry
I can't believe I'm doing this
twilight3
cleolinda
Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)



Site Meter

I suppose it could be worse--the reaction of Earth's entire population could be, "I have to SEND Cleo one of these!"

You know you just gave someone an idea, right?

Please. If they would actually do it, they'd have thought of it by now. If anyone's going to, it's probably already waiting in my PO box as we speak.

I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. You might need it after the past couple of weeks. XD

I'm surprised they didn't name it The Unicorn, honestly.

Okay, that just makes that fic where orgasms = unicorns even worse now.

Shhh... Dop't tell her you can buy unicorn themed dildos. She's having a hard enough week.

Oh, I was absolutely sure you could. I was just half-thinking that they'd name an actual Twilight toy "The Unicorn" because of that one fanfic.

YOU KNOW THE ONE, WITH ORGASMS CALLED UNICORNS, WE DISCUSSED THIS please don't make me find it.

Hahahahahahaha! oh noes, hahahahaha! OMG, dying. Just. ded.

I'm at work so I can't bring myself to click on the link...just please, PLEASE tell me they don't describe it as being made out of marble, granite, or any other *hard* substance.

Oh god. I was at work when I opened it and immediately sent an email to over half the people I work with. Hilarity ensued, along with discussions on different flavors of popsicles for...certain purposes.

Srsly. The people in my department are warped, but in a good way.

Give it a few weeks. It's not officially released yet.

Now I'm picturing The Littlest Edward standing next to the sparklecock. There doesn't need to be a story, really, just a picture...

That's just what his inferiority complex needs.

My suggestion if someone does send you one? Sell that sucker on ebay.

Well, I would definitely take pictures of it. I would probably be laughing too hard to hold the camera straight, though.

(THIS IS NOT A REQUEST TO BE SENT ONE)

(I WOULD PROBABLY DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT)

My reaction is "Hey, I found a guy talking about this and he probably doesn't even know Cleo. I'll tell Cleo about him.

Seriously, check out his blog especially the entries tagged Totally Irrelevant Crap. You might have something in common.

And, no, he's not me. I'm Neon Vincent there.