Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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I can't believe I'm doing this
twilight3
cleolinda
Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)



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Okay, that just makes that fic where orgasms = unicorns even worse now.

Shhh... Dop't tell her you can buy unicorn themed dildos. She's having a hard enough week.

Oh, I was absolutely sure you could. I was just half-thinking that they'd name an actual Twilight toy "The Unicorn" because of that one fanfic.

YOU KNOW THE ONE, WITH ORGASMS CALLED UNICORNS, WE DISCUSSED THIS please don't make me find it.