BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
LUDOVIC BOURCE – THE ARTIST
ABEL KORZENIOWSKI - W.E.
TRENT REZNOR, ATTICUS ROSS - THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
HOWARD SHORE – HUGO
JOHN WILLIAMS – WAR HORSE
"THE AHTEESTE!" wins. "I'm sorry I'm French," I think Bource says? "Right now if I were to write a song, it would be a tap dance numbair?" he reads from his pre-written speech. God bless. I always think about what it would be like to accept an award in Spain or France and how terrible I would sound. Big ups, mon ami.
BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
“HELLO HELLO” — GNOMEO & JULIET
Music by: Elton John, Lyrics by: Bernie Taupin
“THE KEEPER” — MACHINE GUN PREACHER
Music & Lyrics by: Chris Cornell
“LAY YOUR HEAD DOWN” — ALBERT NOBBS
Music by: Brian Byrne, Lyrics by: Glenn Close
“THE LIVING PROOF” — THE HELP
Music by: Mary J. Blige, Thomas Newman, Harvey Mason, Jr., Lyrics by: Mary J. Blige, Harvey Mason, Jr., Damon Thomas
“MASTERPIECE” — W.E.
Music & Lyrics by: Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry
Winner: "Masterpiece," because Madonna. Man, I bet Elton John looks really dour now. I do like her grey/silver sparkle whatever she's got going, it's reasonably classy. "I'm not French, I have no excuse," she warns us about the speech she is about to drop. But she is apparently British now (still)! "Thank you, Guy Oseary, for being so irritating," is the punchline of five minutes' rambling. She only just gets to her leading lady and Harvey Weinstein, "The Punisher," when they start to play her off. I'm still giving the entire concept of her romantic Wallis Simpson movie the side-eye, but whatever.
A Turkish actress, who is named either Meltem Cumbul or Latham Djubol (I think mysticowl is confirming the former) comes out wish peace to the world. Also, according to the commercials, Anjelica Huston is on some Fame-esque show about how amazing a former American Idol contestant is. Oh, look, here she is now! Katharine McPhee, I mean. And also, Debra Messing (black, raccoon eyes).
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
HUGH BONNEVILLE – DOWNTON ABBEY
IDRIS ELBA – LUTHER
WILLIAM HURT – TOO BIG TO FAIL
BILL NIGHY – PAGE EIGHT
DOMINIC WEST – THE HOUR
Winner: Idris Elba! Twitter seems pleased. Cut to Dominic West staring at him perplexedly and Kenneth Branagh beaming. HELP SO FAR BEHIND
Please welcome! Brad Pitt with long hair! Please cut to! Angelina Jolie in a white gown with some sort of red fold-over neckline thing giving him the sex eyes! This is! An Ides of March montage!
Please welcome! From the umpteenth Underworld movie! Kate Beckinsale in a sparkly oatmeal-colored gown and-- "Hello, I am Seth Rogen, and I am currently trying to conceal! a massive erection." Somewhere, Ricky Gervais is dying of jealousy that someone is edgier than he is.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
JODIE FOSTER – CARNAGE
CHARLIZE THERON – YOUNG ADULT
KRISTEN WIIG – BRIDESMAIDS
MICHELLE WILLIAMS – MY WEEK WITH MARILYN
KATE WINSLET – CARNAGE
Winner: Michelle Williams, in a blonde pixie cut, headband, and some kind of long-sleeved purple business that looks a little like burn-out velvet leopard print? I like it. "I consider myself a mother first and an actress second, so I want to thank my little girl." Aw, she ended up reading all the bedtime stories in a Marilyn Monroe voice. That's... slightly disturbing, I'm not sure? Let's go with it, I need to hit post.