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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Oscar liveblog #2
yahoo oscars green
"Welcome back to the Your Name Here Theater," because Kodak is going bankrupt, lol. "Let's go to the movies!" IT'S A MONTAGE! GOTTA HAVE A MONTAGE! "Lahf is like a box of chocolates!" It's also like clips from Titanic, freaking Twilight, Legends of the Fall, Avatar, Amelie, Ghost, and JAWS FUCK YEAH EAT EVERYONE.WHY IS THIS A MONTAGE. THIS IS COMPLETELY THE MOST RANDOM FUCKING MONTAGE I HAVE EVER SEEN. WHAT THE FUCK. IT'S NOT EVEN THEMED LIKE "animals in film" OR "great performances by babies" OR WHATEVER, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU CUT SOME NICE SOUND EDITOR'S SPEECH SHORT FOR THIS--

"Please welcome, a recurring dream of mine! Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez!" for Best Costume. HOLA, LOVERS. Both are in white, but even I noticed on the carpet that Lopez's is FANTASTIC, it kind of has a starbust transparency pattern JANE EYRE, FUCK YEAH! I... I ate half the box of Tagalongs before the show even started, I'm sorry.

Costume Design

    "Anonymous" Lisy Christl
    "The Artist" Mark Bridges
    "Hugo" Sandy Powell
    "Jane Eyre" Michael O'Connor
    "W.E." Arianne Phillips

THE OSCAR GOES TO The Artist, I hate everyone. Okay, I don't. "I am feeling mild chagrin but cannot sparkle" just wasn't as punchy. You guys, Lopez and Diaz are talking SO FAST, I don't know if they're holding a gun to a puppy's (Uggie's?) head backstage or what.


    "Albert Nobbs"
    Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle
    "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2"
    Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin
    "The Iron Lady"
    Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland

Aw, they let people from each movie talk about the makeup. ilu Jason Isaacs, don't you have a new TV show coming out? Lopez and Diaz are standing with their backs to the audience, then look dramatically over their shoulders and burst out laughing. Apparently there was a J-Lo nip slip and I missed it? WINNAH: The Iron Lady; shot of goldazzled Streep turning around in her seat to locate Coulier and Helland. She cups her hands around her mouth and apparently shouts "WOO!" "Thanks, Meryl," says Helland, "for keeping me employed for thirty-seven years." Meanwhile, Harry Potter fans riot.

And here: are actors in pre-taped interviews talking about sitting in the dark and watching things. Ben Stiller, Morgan Freeman, Adam Sandler talking about Sean Connery and his chest hair and "Can I please do that," Reese Witherspoon, Hilary Swank, Tom Cruise, Helen Mirren, Brad Pitt talking about The Good Gargantua and the Bad Gargantua and the Good Gargantua having to beat the Bad Gargantua. I wanna watch movies with him. 

An announcer lady informs us that no baseball film has been nominated for Best Picture since Field of Dreams, and no baseball film has ever won! Baseball film has no Oscars! BASEBALL FILM NEEDS NO OSCARS. THERE IS NO WINNING IN BASEBALL FILM!

Um. Commercials?

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MMmmm, Jason Isaacs. Officially the best part of the Oscars so far.

But yes, I want to part movies with Brad.

But seriously, what the fuck was Twilight doing in that clip?!? The rest were, arguably, famous/classic clips. But Edward looking constipated before having to kiss Bella? WTF?

*watch* I meant watch movies with Brad.

I was in such a hurry to write my WTF about Twilight.

Re: Jason Isaacs. Yes, it's called Awake, NBC has the pilot online, and it's actually pretty damned good. Or at least, the pilot is. Of course, it has BD Wong, so naturally it's good,...

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS SHOW SO MUCH I CANNOT TELL YOU. And I can't watch the pilot yet because my Australian buddy can't access the region-locked streaming stuff and I'm being good and waiting so we can watch it together and it is KILLING ME.

Oh man, I have a friend in Canada with the same problems, and for this? I told him too bad. (Worth it, too - the lighting alone... just amazing!)

You'll enjoy it!

We had the same problem with Smash (which we are loving, btw). He keeps trying to encourage me to give in and watch so he can use it as leverage against me later.

The correct designation for this year is "Kodak Debtor in Possession Theater."

Raise your hand if you had a "seriously?!" moment while seeing the Twilight clip. At least it wasn't like that year when they put New Moon in with the horror movies.

*Raises hand* I tweeted "WTF is Twilight doing there?"

Thank you! It is also very useful XD

*raises hands frantically* W. T. F.

Also: The Hangover. Because what? I'm always a little weirded out when they pair classic movies like ET and Star Wars with anything that's come out in the last three years, especially the crappy ones.


Does she smell bad? Why does he make that face when he kisses her?

My sister and I were talking about Jason Isaacs recently and we decided that he could be Jon Hamm's hot, British cousin.

Yeah, my dad saw an ad for Awake and said, "Is that the guy from Mad Men?"

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure during that montage there was a scene from Cinema Paradiso of some kids masturbating in a theater. It looked like they were enjoying Jaws a little too much. Please, someone, tell me I'm imagining things.

Unfortunately? You're not. I had a serious moment of o.0 about that.

I'm sure everyone who hasn't seen the film thought it was some innocent little scene, but why'd they have to go and weird out the people who have?

Oh joy, Iron Lady aged one old lady. Harry Potter aged FOUR, MUCH more difficult, AND created a thousand magical creatures, yet no one cares. Fucking idiots.

Hey, Alabama IS the center of the universe!

I love seeing first time winners! Yay, Octavia!

I've actually seen that gargantua film Brad Pitt was talking about. :D

I'm not watching the Oscars but is he talking about War of the Gargantuas? That's the first movie that came to mind (based on the description) and I can't believe someone else watched it

Now I want Tagalongs. Or whatever the Girl Scouts are calling Tagalongs since the word Tagalong is trademarked by someone who isn't the Girl Scouts. Haven't been able to find a Girl Scout since December. How can I give them money if they are not around to give money to?

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Random montage is random.
Also, Adam Sandler needs to die a horrible painful death.

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