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Oscar liveblog #8
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"Front row, you know what I'm thinking? Why don't we chip in and buy the Dodgers?" Then Crystal flubs a "the original girl with the dragon tattoo" joke, mimics rewinding himself, and says it again. here's Angelina Jolie in LEG. It's hilarious, it's this great black dress with, apparently, a huge opening in the side, and then she's like *hip cock* LEG, and the entire audience catcalls. And that's why she's a movie star.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

"The Descendants" Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
"Hugo" Screenplay by John Logan
"The Ides of March" Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
"Moneyball" Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin; Story by Stan Chervin
"Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Screenplay by Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan

Winner: The Descendants. I haven't been very good with acceptance speeches tonight, have I? Announcer Lady says that Faxon & Rash are former members of the Groundlings? They start doing the LEG hip-cock and tossing their non-hair. Alexander Payne's mother is here with him ("hold the applause") and asked him to dedicate the next Oscar he won to her "the way Javier Bardem's mother did to his." Heh.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

"The Artist" Written by Michel Hazanavicius
"Bridesmaids" Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
"Margin Call" Written by J.C. Chandor
"Midnight in Paris" Written by Woody Allen
"A Separation" Written by Asghar Farhadi

Apparently "I feel bad for your FACE" was in an Oscar-nominated screenplay? Winner: Woody Allen. "The Academy congratulates Woody Allen and accepts the award on his behalf." I'm tempted to wonder if maybe they gave it to him because he wouldn't be in attendance so the show would HURRY UP.

Meanwhile, a confessional montage reveals that Overboard is Reese Witherspoon's favorite pick-me-up movie. Hey, I don't judge.

Commercials, but I'm waiting for the next break to hit post.

PLEASE WELCOME! Milla Jovovich in FANTASTIC. White, one-shoulder, sparkly, perfect glam hair, perfect makeup. She may be my absolute favorite look all evening, I'm not sure. She was the Obligatory Babe presenting the Nerd Oscars to the tech geeks who aren't allowed to sully the proceedings.

Here are the Bridesmaids in excellent gowns! "Six beautiful... some say handsome... women, here to present three awards." Size does matter, we are informed (a scripted look from Melissa McCarthy)--no, not that kind of size. Kristen Wiig would rather have "a short film with some heft that's nice to me, rather than a long film that just lies there and does all the work." 

Short Film (Live Action)

"Pentecost" Peter McDonald and Eimear O'Kane
"Raju" Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren
"The Shore" Terry George and Oorlagh George
"Time Freak" Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey
"Tuba Atlantic" Hallvar Witzø

Winner: "The Shore," and two wonderfully (Northern? I think they said Northern?) Irish accepters.

Documentary (Short Subject)

"The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement"
Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin
"God Is the Bigger Elvis"
Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson
"Incident in New Baghdad"
James Spione
"Saving Face"
Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy
"The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom"
Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen

And then someone in the audience shouts "SCORSEEEESEEEEEE!" and Byrne and McCarthy pull flasks out of their gowns and chug. Winner: "Saving Face." "It's more important that the Pakistani on the stage speak rather than me. Please, please, Sharmeen, speak." She dedicates the award to all the women in Pakistan who are working for change: "Don't give up on your dreams."

Short Film (Animated)

"Dimanche/Sunday" Patrick Doyon
"The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore" William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg
"La Luna" Enrico Casarosa
"A Morning Stroll" Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe
"Wild Life" Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby

Winner: "The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore." "Look at us, we're just like these two swamp rats from Louisiana!" I beg to differ, sir: you are also wearing a hat.


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I'm probably mistaken, but I always thought Best Director came next to last. Oh well. Probably just my brain wanting this show to be over already.

I love Angie. Movie star attitude, aura, and charisma. Would like to hug her, and feed her, but got to love her personality. No wonder Brad loves her.

...James Earl Jones!

Edited at 2012-02-27 04:01 am (UTC)

Usually Best Directing does come right before Best Picture, but it seems they're mixing things up quite a bit this year.

For a moment I was thinking "What's Moby doing up there?" because I've been flipping back and forth between the Oscars and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? on Turner Classic Movies, and caught the... voguing? With the legs?

I regret not seeing Hugh Jackman's turn as Oscar host...

I'm tempted to wonder if maybe they gave it to him because he wouldn't be in attendance so the show would HURRY UP.

*snerk* I was wondering the exact same thing.

This year's Oscars brought to you by the Dean

Jim Rash gives better leg than Angelina Jolie.

I loved the Scorsese cleavage vodka shot. I kinda wish Kristen Wiig had won for Bridesmaids, even though I knew it would never happen.

"It's time to Tina TURNer back the clock!"

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a Dean!"

I wish his acceptance speech had just been a series of Dean puns.

God, that man just makes me smile. He's just so willing to embrace the madness and play it with a flair and panache that would put Rarity to shame.

In the "what makes a good movie" talking heads bit, I liked the cut from RDJ saying "I think that's an excellent question for Werner Herzog to complicate" to Herzog doing exactly that.

Milla looked fanTAStic.

Ooh, annual montage of deathly death.

I can't decide if I like Jolie's uncensored vanity or not. I guess it can be good for a laugh.

Edited at 2012-02-27 04:10 am (UTC)

Is it me, or is it really, really difficult to read a lot of these names? Also, thanks for Peter Falk's bit from "The Princess Bride" *sniff*

And now the realization sets in:

Who's Clooney's date? Stacy Keibler... and I was wondering why that name was so familiar to me and then...

Yep. She used to be a wrestler.

As much as I've disliked most of the ceremony so far, I will give them producers props for the "In Memoriam". It was well done, classy, and nobody turned it into a popularity contest.

I guess someone FINALLY started checking out the ones TCM does every year.

Best part of the show so far, IMO.

OMG I know Oorlagh George! She went to my college. I remember she was trying to get in an overbooked seminar on the History of Ireland, and even the fact that she was the daughter of the director of two of the movies on our extra-credit list (The Boxer and In the Name of the Father) wouldn't sway the professor to let her in.

Haha, yeah! I was pleasantly surprised to see him.

I am probably alone in this, but I loved Jolie's dress. It was a classic retro style in black velvet (if you ignored the leg slit.)

Angelina's leg has it's own twitter now, apparently.
(No, I'm not kidding.)

I loved Scorcese's reaction to the drinking game bit. "Huh? What? Oh my god, really?"

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