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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Oscar liveblog #9
msauvage purple
Billy Crystal informs us that Michael Douglas was Occupying Wall Street before it was cool, and I just don't even have the strength to think of a way to turn that into a hipster joke. He is here to tell an old story about director Leo McCarey looking for a bank and to present:


"The Artist" Michel Hazanavicius
"The Descendants" Alexander Payne
"Hugo" Martin Scorsese
"Midnight in Paris" Woody Allen
"The Tree of Life" Terrence Malick

Aw, they let actors from each movie explain why their director should win. Despite Sir Ben Kingsley explaining how important it would be to give an Oscar to Martin Scorsese, America's Film Professor (again), the winner is Michel Hazanavicius. "I have an Oscarr. I forgot my speech. I am the happiest director in the world right now." He thanks everyone possible, including "Uggie, the dog, I don't think he cares, I don't think he understands that much, he's not that good..." Heh.

Please welcome! Billy Crystal argues that Meryl Streep has lost so many Oscars that she deserves to win another one for pretending not to hate everyone.Judging by this Wall o' Gifs, I think she's genuinely happy for other people, though. She informs us that they've moved the Governor's Bathroom Break Lifetime Achievement Awards to a separate ceremony before the show, and so we only see clips of James Earl Jones and Oprah Winfrey accepting honorary Oscars. NO BREAK FOR YOU! Let's have a big hand for them now and HURRY UP HURRY UP HURRY UP.

Next up: the Death March of Deathly Death. While we're waiting:

@thelindsayellis: See the Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore free on iTunes! 

The Death March. Laura Ziskin and Gil Cates in particular were producers of the Oscar show. The montage, backed by Esperanza Spalding (I am told) singing "What a Wonderful World" and a choir of young girls, and somewhat unusually done as mostly black and white headshots with only a few clips here and there: Jane Russell, Annie Girardot, John Calley, Polly Platt, Ken Russell, Donald Peterman, Farley Granger, Whitney Houston, Bingham Ray, Tak Miyagishima, Bert Schneider, Michael Cacoyannis, David Z. Goodman, James Rodunsky, Peter E. Berger, Jack J. Jayes, Peter Falk ("As you wish"), Cliff Robertson ("With great power comes great responsibility"), Laura Ziskin, Sidney Lumet, Sue Mengers, Steve Jobs, George Kuchar, Hal Kanter, Theadora Van Runkle, Tim Hetherington, Gene Cantamessa, Gary Winick, Bill Varney, Jackie Cooper, Gil Cates, Richard Leacock, James M. Roberts, Marion Doughtery, Norman Corwin, Paul John Haggar, Joseph Farrell, Ben Gazzara, Elizabeth Taylor ("Thank you with all my heart"), and ending with a shot of Taylor as Cleopatra.

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Patton Oswalt! He should host next year along with Chris Rock. They can turn it into a dueling stand up show and the audience will vote on who heckled the best and the other one has to take a shot.

from your mouth to the producers' ears


I did like it when Streep seemed to give deliberate emphasis to pulling out her reading glasses & putting them on before she started speaking. Definite nod to the whole "forgot my reading glasses" at the golden globes. it was the golden globes, yes?


LMAO. That's what I was thinking.

What I've seen of Demian Bichir...wow. Brilliant. And Gary Oldman? Gods, I love that man.

I want my eulogy to be read by Colin Firth. His voice is pure gorgeousness.

Or Alan Rickman, I'm not too picky...


Aww, I'm happy for Jean Dujardin and The Artist, but sad for Gary Oldman.

I'm just sad for Gary Oldman. :\

Colin Firth fanboying Meryl Streep. Hee! <3

I am irrationally annoyed by both Michelle Williams and Rooney Mara. I think it's because they both look so twee on the red carpet all the time.

Wow, Meryl! That's a bit of a shocker, no?

Haha! The one I've seen won!

Oh thank God, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close didn't take Best Picture. I am satisfied.

I was 4 for 5 in the big categories. Meryl came out of almost nowhere.

Meryl! Huzzah!

I think part of me always wanted to grow up to be Meryl Streep, even when I was a little boy.

Fantastic Flying Books won. It's now $1.99. >.<