@cleolinda: OH DAMMIT RT @TheMovieSpoiler: Stay for ALL of the credits in BATTLESHIP #TheMovieSpoiler #Credits
[I staggered out of there the red-hot second the music started because I had "enjoyed" a "medium" Coke Not-Zero and spent the last hour of the movie in steadily increasing pain, and nothing could have made me stay, much less this.]
@cleolinda: Man, a full-length Battleship at @TheMovieSpoiler would help. Unfortunately, judging by the box office, I was the only person who saw it.
@cleolinda: I TOOK THAT BULLET FOR ALL OF YOU RT @tinytempest: @cleolinda yes, and we're all giving you the side-eye because you did.
@cleolinda: HOW ELSE WOULD YOU KNOW THAT "Mahalo, motherf--" WAS A THING THAT REALLY HAPPENED?
@alliancesjr: Wait, what? That was a thing that happened?
@cleolinda: Right before Rihanna blows an alien's head off with a cannon. #SPOILERS #NOONECARES
@cleolinda: Also, a wizened old veteran shouting, "Let's drop some lead on these motherf--" "FIRE!"
@alliancesjr: So basically this movie should be called "Rihanna Blows Shit Up"? Because I'd be likely to see it if that's the case.
@cleolinda: As previously established!
("In any case, if they make the sequel, it should star Rihanna and the main character conflict should be over her wanting to shoot things, and other people perhaps not wanting her to shoot them.")
@cleolinda: This was long after Taylor Kitsch got tasered for falling through a 7-11 ceiling and stealing a chicken burrito. FOR LOVE.
@cleolinda: And his brother Vampire Eric is VERY DISAPPOINTED IN HIM
@alliancesjr: ...WHY ARE WE ALL NOT SEEING THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW
@cleolinda: Because the cinematic oeuvre of Taylor Kitsch is cursed, obvs.
I would ask y'all what you thought, but judging by the box office, I'm not sure there's anything to say or anyone to say it. My mother might have actually counted as negative dollars towards a gross that low. She loved it, though, and wants to see it again--two for two this summer for her. And I'm pretty sure she would, except that she also wants to see Snow White and the Hammer Guy and Prometheus (PROMETHEUS! PROMETHEUS!!!), and there are only so many weekends.
(Poor Taylor Kitsch. She's gonna love John Carter when it comes out on DVD.)
OH BY THE WAY THERE IS ALSO A NEW JAMES BOND TRAILER. Also that.