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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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So I saw some movies
msauvage purple
Really, really tired. I would like to discuss The Amazing Spider-Man, but I feel kind of drained. So drained that I saw it on Tuesday and still don't have the energy to say anything substantial about it. So drained that, while this entry sounds pretty bubbly, it took me an hour to write. Suffice it to say that there are a lot of good things about it, and I kind of wish it were possible to put this movie and the Raimi movies into a blender and have a series that had Peter's parents and Gwen Stacy and the Lizard as the first villain (you can pick either set of Aunt May and Uncle Ben, they both work for me) and some of the action scenes from each one and Willem Dafoe showing up later as Green Goblin for the series-wide Big Bad, and we will just totally forget the Sandman thing happened at all, and maybe Venom can happen but it would happen less ridiculously, and Mary Jane can come in after the Gwen Stacy storyline, and Andrew Garfield will be in all of it. The problem, though, is that apparently there was a whole 'nother movie in here that got butchered out because reasons, and that's why you get a closeup of Connors' wedding ring for no reason, and Peter acts like his father was "irresponsible" to run away even as we see a shopped-in newspaper clipping saying that his parents DIED, and That Nefarious Guy disappears with no explanation because his actual death scene was cut (per that blog post), and Connors is just randomly like I'VE GOT IT! EVERYBODY BE LIZARDS NOW, and then some people apparently turn into lizards but we never actually see them be lizards, and I guess Peter just forgets about trying to find Uncle Ben's killer because whatevs, and all these things look like they're going somewhere and then they don't. If they had released the movie Marc Webb originally made, I think I would have loved it. I never really cottoned to Tobey Maguire, although the first and particularly the second Raimi movies were pretty good, and there was a lot of potential here that is currently lying on a cutting-room floor somewhere. I hate to say it, but The Amazing Spider-Man is... a lot like Prometheus in some ways. There are some great visuals and some really good acting, buuuuuut there are questions that get no answers and the pacing is really weird. Except that you can probably enjoy this one for what it is with a lot less nerd rage afterwards. 

I could probably sit down and do a Fifteen Minutes of this, but I don't know that I need to do another one quite so soon after The Avengers (which is here, and Prometheus is here). I suspect it would inevitably be anticlimactic. I probably could have also done Snow White and the Huntsman (I saw that. Did I mention I saw that?), but I probably couldn't come up with anything funnier than the tiny bit I dropped into the Avengers one, so. Also, seriously, I don't do these very often anymore, so that is my usual year's entire output in about three weeks. I'm still working with the anemia thing and the bipolar/depression thing and other health issues and such. Seriously, I do not understand how it is already July.

ALSO, I almost forgot to mention: that LJ Repost thing was a horrible, horrible idea. The Facebook/Twitter/G+ buttons are fine, but, I am serious, do not repost people's LJ entries to your f-lists. It will only end in tears and fire. Possibly cars flipping over and exploding, I think we had a couple of those as well. That said, I would like to thank the Whedon multi-fandom for being surprisingly positive about the whole Avengers thing--I have not had a single negative comment on that front. I mean, now that I've said that, I probably will, but, you know, let's celebrate what we have.

ALSO-ALSO, the best thing I saw on the internet in the last two weeks:



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I'm glad they cut out all that shit about Peter's parents giving him spider DNA or whatever because that implication from the trailers had put me off. But it did lead to some weirdness in what did remain, which I generally loved. I would like to see your Raimi/Webb mash-up, though!

I actually forgot that the Sandman thing ever happened, and you just reminded me. THANKS A LOT.

Yeah, I know changing the idea that Peter got randomly bitten upset a lot of people--I'm not attached to the comics, so losing the "Everyman" quality doesn't bother me? In fact, it kind of works better (for me), because I like the idea of giving him a reason to be around the spiders, instead of just "random science field trip." They also imply (or maybe the cut scenes do?) that it would have ended just as badly for Peter as the lizard thing does for Connors, if he didn't have some particular connection to the experiments already. And that does make some sense to me.

I also saw Spider-man and Iiiiiii . . . really didn't like it all that much. Obviously this is WMMV (especially because I'm not a huge fan of the superhero concept in general) but I felt like Peter spent most of the movie being kind of a dick. He webshoots that one guy in the crotch after restraining him, he never really seems to reconcile with his aunt (especially after her husband died) he couldn't even show up at Captain Stacy's funeral for Gwen even though Spider-man's enemies would presumably already know at least that they were friends/went to the same school. Maybe his development was left on the cutting room floor; maybe we'll get a director's cut someday. Idk.

Go Katie go! *waves pom-poms* I've been reading up a bit on the whole Scientology deal since the news hit, and jeesus is it terrifying. Especially the interrogation of children (tw for child abuse at the link.) Also Cruise just seems like a controlling jerk in general; there was an article I landed on where he said he insisted on calling his wife Kate because "Katie is a child's name, and she is now a child-bearing woman." ECH.

What's this about Harry Potter, though?

Peter spent most of the movie being kind of a dick.

I felt like where they were going with that was Uncle Ben implying (but not actually saying!) that "with great power comes great responsibility," and, by extension, Peter needed to stop using his super powers to be a dick. After some conversation they had, you could see that he was kind of like, "...oh." Maybe also the one he had with Gwen's father about how the police actually wanted to use the car thief to get to the larger crime ring. But the second half of the movie seemed to just kind of throw its hands up in the air, and if they were trying to get that across, I'm not sure they fully did.

What's this about Harry Potter, though?

In the HP books, if a house elf's master gives him an item of clothing, it sets him free. Which happens with Dobby--Harry tricks Draco's father into giving him a sock. "Dobby is a free elf!"

I have been eating up this whole Holmes/Cruise divorce thing like it's a chocolate waterfall with an endless supply of dippers, I tell you what. Following every article link the Anons at WhyWeProtest have found and posted gleefully and I think I've said "Take that Scientology" and "Hell yeah, Mama Bear, you do this!" more times than I can reasonably count in the last week.

Yeah, I don't usually get into celebrity divorces or gossip, but this just seems to have much, much larger implications for an evil culty organization as a whole. Also, she seems to have pulled off this massive cloak-and-dagger escape plan with flawless victory.

Damn, that's too bad because when I saw the trailer before The Avengers I was really excited to see this film exploring Peter's parents and his ~mysterious origins~ and stuff, but if that's not what it is, I'll probably skip it. Sorry Garfield.

It's weird, because some of that IS there, and it starts with a prologue about his parents leaving, and then he finds his father's old papers and gets really emotional and starts wearing his glasses, and the research is how he connects with Connors, and why he starts poking around the Oscorp labs in the first place, and thennnn they kind of never resolve that. It's obvious that they want to save the answers for the next movie or two, based on the mid-credits scene. "DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT HIS FATHER?" Well, no? Because they cut that part out? Honestly, that whole thread was my favorite aspect of the movie.

Ah, you just totally made sense of why Spidey has been bugging me so much since I saw it last night and walked out subjecting my friend to an incoherent rant along the lines of "but the screeeeeeenplaaaaaay, it made no sense!" (Which was much the same rant I had after SWATH, but... Let's not go there right now). And it being hacked to pieces makes total sense, of course - I was mostly depressed by the waste of all the awesome actors being shortchanged (Emma Stone!) And how my brain was spinning trying to make the crazy plotting fit logic, or a 3 act structure.

It did make it worse because the Raimi version was tonally and structurally so coherent and, much as I didn't want to sit there comparing them, they kept using the same plot beats (like ending with a funeral) but with a lot less elegance or meaning behind them. And yes, a mash-up of both versions is what they should have been heading for (loved Spidey one, most of two, and three We Do Not Speak Of).

Yeah, the pacing and structure of the Raimi movies is what I would want to keep, I think. Also, I wasn't fond of the "Peter discovers his powers on the subway" scene or the high school fight scene, but the Oscorp stuff at the end looked fairly cool. But I really, really liked that they started with Gwen Stacy on this one, that they set up the Green Goblin (who will not be Willem Dafoe, woe) as the overall villain, and the actors they went with.

I Facebook like this post. I also Reddit upvote it. And I put a Twitter star and retweet it.

Honestly, I don't think you could get fifteen minutes out of SWATH. Five, maybe. But that one joke in the Avengers in 15 was a perfect gem.

LJ Repost thing

I'm rarely on LJ nowadays so I completely missed this, but wow, they're trying to get into reblogging now?

Yeahhhh, and they do not seem to understand that LJ is not Tumblr and, apparently, really does not want to be.

That THR story seems to rely a whole lot on speculation and not much on...actual stuff happening, but if Katie Holmes helps blow a hole in the rotten edifice of Scientology? More power to her.

Oh, and that Tweet is a masterpiece. :P

Edited at 2012-07-07 06:43 pm (UTC)

Y'know, when I saw SWATH I actually remember thinking, "I wonder if cleolinda will do a m15m of this?" and the more I thought about it, the more I realized it's nearly impossible to be funny about something with absolutely zero personality. Well, except Bella, but Snow was even *more* of a nonentity and there was nothing entertaining happening around her like vampire baseball to make it worth a parody. SWATH committed the cardinal sin of being bad without being silly enough to laugh at.

I actually really enjoyed SWATH, and yet at the same time I agree it's parody-ripe, AND YET I also kind of agree that there isn't enough there to make for a full-blown m15m, really, and the Avengers aside was just perfect.

(You didn't mentioned you'd seen it and I kind of wondered if you'd just decided to wait for DVD on that one, since it's such a movie-heavy summer season already. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it, since though I kind of loved it, for reasons, I feel like there's a lot to criticize it for. However, I also dig how much effort it can be to Articulate Thoughts, esp. in such an aforementioned movie-heavy season when there's so much clamoring for your attention. I still salute you for doing two m15m's so close together that were both so beautiful.)

You know, I'm not even sure why I didn't say anything about it at the time. There was a week or two where I was seeing a lot of movies and leaving the house an abnormal amount, and it's almost like--wait, no, I remember: I saw it the same weekend as Prometheus, and I was writing as fast as I could. Thaaaat was entirely the problem.

I haven't seen Amazing Spider-Man yet, but plan to, probably next weekend. The buzz i'm hearing is that it's good but not great.

As for Katie Holmes, you go, girl! Mind you, I was profoundly annoyed by the Hollywood Reporter article repeatedly referring to Isabella and Connor Cruise as Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's ADOPTIVE children. They're their kids, get the fuck over it, Hollywood Reporter.

Hear, hear. Why do publications do that?? I don't go around introducing my sister to people as "my adopted sister," for heaven's sake.

Hm, your mini-review adds to the general consesus I've seen of "Spiderman is good but hella inconsistent", which means I might just wait to see it at the second-run theater (unless of course some kind soul like my sister wants to see it and pay for my ticket).

I just saw ASM and I really liked it. In fact, somewhat better than the 2002 version which I really enjoy. I'm not as much of a comic book purist as some others may be, but I think that as long as there are the major elements of what makes the character who he is, then I think a little leeway is ok.

I would like to see what those cut scenes would have added to the movie in general. I suspect they'll be on the DVD and maybe they'll do one of those versions where scenes have been included. It won't stop me from seeing the movie again of course.

And I'm glad this whole Katie/Tom divorce thing is putting the spotlight on Scientology. It's a dangerous cult and more and more people need to be aware of the dangers they hold.

Thanks so much for the 15 Minutes. The Avengers one? You outdid yourself, lady! Now get some rest.