Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

So I saw Iron Man 3

As you may recall, I did The Avengers in Fifteen Minutes last summer. Yeah. There will be no Iron Man 3 in any number of minutes. The parts that were good were too funny to do anything with and there were no parts that were bad. There is no foothold for me as a parodist here (or maybe I'm just tapped out from the Hannibal recaps, who knows). There was basically nothing I did not like about this movie. I mean, there might have been some things that were stronger than others, if you can remind me of anything--this ain't gonna be deep; more of a discussion prompt than anything.

THINGS I LIKED (ALL THE THINGS)

I really liked how much Tony was out of the suit(s) while still being a superhero. Because we're here to see RDJ, not a faceplate. I mean, I know it was a whole "does the man make the suit or the suit make the man" theme, but it was just nice to know that it was really his resourcefulness that makes him Iron Man, not the iron on the man. And having all the empty suits act on their own or throwing them onto other people underlined that in a really nice way.

(Tony Stark: Hardware Store Commando.)

I was super concerned about the whole YELLOW PERIL OMG potential of Ben Kingsley's character, but you know what? The way they turned that on its head was just the best.

(Were people actually mad about that? Dude, that was awesome. Portrait of Me Not Giving a Fuck About the Comics, I guess.)

Y'all, how much fun was Guy Pearce having? I had no idea he would be in the movie so much. YAY.

(I'm just going to pretend that "Sorry, that's the universe, my bad" was a Prometheus in-joke, and nobody tell me if it wasn't.)

Not only did I love the movie opening with "Blue," which was hilarious to me for reasons I can't quite put my finger on, Jon Favreau's Vincent Vega hair cracked me up so bad.

Man, the whole blowing-up-of-Tony's-house sequence was so well done. "HEY GUYS SHOULD WE BE WORRIED ABOUT THIS?"

I like that Tony had to deal with PTSD and panic attacks--for a lot of reasons, but mostly because a lot of action/disaster movies don't really acknowledge the chaos and carnage of the previous installments, whereas I can't help but imagine how no one in real life would ever shut up about it.

I usually groan at Child Sidekicks and I was actually okay with this one. Probably because Tony ended up being the brattier of the two.

Ponytail Express was not actually Val Kilmer, but I liked that he really, really looked like he was.

I guess I like that Don Cheadle has really great arms, because otherwise that green polo shirt was not doing him any favors? That said, if Shane Black would like to make a movie where Don Cheadle and Robert Downey Jr. stealth around in the dark fighting crime, he can have my money now.

THINGS ON OIL BOAT EXPLODE BIG! THINGS ON OIL BOAT EXPLODE GOOD! OIL BOAT ITSELF DOES NOT EXPLODE! YAAAAAY!

House Party Protocol: Let me show you my Iron Mans (my Iron Mans, let me show you them).

FACT: The Extremis technology also enhances clothing, which is how [two major characters] can survive Terminator-melting immolation with their garments intact.

I really liked the montage at the end--I honestly kind of hope they don't make another Iron Man movie, it was so good. Like, go out on top while the story feels complete--Tony can always show up in other Marvel movies.

Speaking of which: Tony and Bruce: Science Bros. I hope they were in Stark Tower because Tony was just like, fuck it, we're just going to live in NY now with my superhero posse, and Bruce just has his own apartment there now, and they have science playdates all the time and Pepper makes them whiskey and s'mores and then she and Natasha give each other pedicures or something. (You can have that foot-fetish idea for free.)

And, of course, the idea of Nick Fury inevitably being like "THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU BLEW UP ALL THE SUITS?!"

There are probably other things I am forgetting because my brain was battered with awesome.



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Tags: iron man, movie discussion, movies
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