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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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dire ravenstag gunmettle, dire ravenstag, dire ravenstag 04
Okay, I have nearly posted this entry like four different times, then held back for some reason, then needed to update it again, and it's finally turned into this mulch pile of an entry that I keep turning over every couple of days. IT NEEDS TO BE POSTED.

So. Doing somewhat better. Blood pressure is still a little high but nearly normal, after an initial week of self-imposed semi-bed-rest. (I gave up on trying to answer the comments on the previous entry, but thanks for your good thoughts, guys.) The day after that med check that I mentioned, when hypertension came up as a possible cause of my constant headaches, I stayed in bed and the headaches vanished. I've only them on the few rainy days since (which is normal for me). It took a while, and I'm still having to keep a pretty sharp eye on it, but I don't think I'm going to have to go on medication for it. Honestly, I spent the whole week until the GP visit being really anxious, but rationally anxious, like, how bad off am I, exactly? So, scared and a little sad, even.

And now, I think I've gone into a manic upswing, which means that I'm calm and rational, sure, but I can't focus. I'm having a really hard time maintaining a coherent train of thought; my thoughts actively wander, if that makes any sense. Like, to the point where it's difficult to read, the way it's difficult to get through a really dry text at 11 pm when you're supposed to have read it for class the next day, you know? It's like a mental dizziness, not a physical one. I had good ideas on Saturday, then was super productive on Sunday, and then it just all fell apart on Monday. (I had such a good idea for the book on Sunday, almost something of a game-changer, that I'm concerned it's just the mania talking and I'm going to do all this work on it and then sit here next Monday and wonder what the hell I was thinking.) I know, too, that I'm more liable to be cranky or lose my temper when I'm manic, and... that's not good for my blood pressure. Like, maybe I just need to not talk to people, any of them, at all, until this passes. But I digress. Mostly I'm managing it with, like, lavender and lemongrass-based BPAL blends, chamomile tea, and a glass of wine at night. The combination of my actual antidepressants was so difficult--painful, even--to get to a comfortable balance that, if adding on simple things like tea and aromatherapy are enough to settle me down for the week or two I need it--well, screwing with that is not something I would do lightly.

Here. Have a corgi being vacuumed.

Podcasts and TV shows I did (and, uh, did not) catch up on:

I did catch up with Night Vale through "The Traveler," with the two "Sandstorm" episodes next. I want to watch the new Sleepy Hollow episodes, and I have those first two recorded.

@JoseMolinaTV: My apologies, interwebs. I shan't call #SleepyHollow fans #Sleepyheads, nor shall I call Abbie/Crane shippers #Crabbies. You pick the names!
I really, really want to have watched, but do not know when I will watch, Elementary. Should I just start the second season cold and catch up on the first simultaneously? (Why do I always do this, wanting to watch a show but never actually doing it?) I am, however, still committed to watching, AS IT AIRS, NBC's Dracula late next month. And recapping at least the first episode and hopefully seeing the whole season through, but seasonal depression/energy levels/promises I can't keep/blah blah blah. We take it as it comes. Also, showrunner Cole Haddon popped up in the middle of a Twitter conversation the other day, so apparently he's going to be pretty socially hands-on as well.

@Ceilidhann: Apparently NBC's Dracula is going to be like the vampire Steve Jobs. Well, there's that. @cleolinda

@Ceilidhann: I'm fine with them going all trippy and fantastical. Still thinking of it as vampire Nikola Tesla.

@LJmysticowl: You know what, I like what he's saying. I just hope that they really commit to the fantasy Victoriana/AU idea.

@colehaddon: He's the vampire Nikola Tesla with Thomas Edison's showmanship! Unfortunately... (more)

@colehaddon: ...not enough folks know Tesla or what Edison was really about. Jobs and Musk are modern equivalents.

@colehaddon: If you're a Tesla fan, don't worry. You'll catch a lot of references to him!

(I hope that there will also be an NBC Dracula Tumblr). (GUYS, THERE ALREADY IS.)

Meanwhile! Podcasts!

Made of Fail: Shut Up and Take My Money, in which they discuss DC Comics' recent shenanigans. I will be on next month to talk about Hannibal and different approaches to fandom, assuming Dayna sacrifices an avocado to the vengeful Podcast Gods.

Anglo-Filles: Potpourri-tangent-palooza, about lots of things but including the new Harry Potter Fantastic Beasts movie. I will be on next month to talk about Hannibal, assuming the Filles sacrifice another avocado to the vengeful Podcast Gods.

A Matter of Taste: Stop! In the Name of Lovecraft, in which Fio and guest Turner also discuss a lot of movies influenced by Lovecraft (including Pacific Rim, which I know is relevant to many of y'all's interests), which I enjoyed. Ian's on a break for the month; Fio's doing horror comics next month.

Speaking of Hannibal: FLOWER CROWNS.

Also, the flower-crowned Investigators Three/Team Sassy Science and a corpse. Has anyone actually been asking what happened to this guy and how he fits into the show? Or why Gillian Anderson isn't looking at us Hannibal and Bedelia have dueling suit patterns going on up there? Am I the only person who has questions? Should I, as a recapper, actually keep an eye on spoilers as they come out or do I want to try to protect my innocence as I tried to last season? Nobody knows. Also-also, another short clip from the gag reel. Basically I am sitting out on the doorstep all *chin hands* today waiting for the DVDs to arrive in the mail. Or I would be, if I could focus long enough to remember to go out there and sit down.

Bryan Fuller Reflects on 'Hannibal' S1 & Teases S2:

ETonline: What’s the deal with the flower crowns though?

Bryan Fuller: [laughs] The fannibals really adopted that, and I’m not 100 percent sure of what the derivation is, but the flower crown thing is so fun. I think it’s solidarity with Will Graham as a martyr figure. I think it’s so adorable that this show, which is so dark and twisted, has such a happy fanbase.

ETonline: Your shows tend to attract a very devoted following. What’s the fan experience been like for you with Hannibal?

Fuller: It’s been wonderful and unexpected. I was surprised at the demographic that the show was reaching. A significant portion was young, smart, well-read women; they really responded to this show and I typically relate to young, bright ladies [laughs]. It was nice to see how enthusiastic and passionate they were. And, also, happy in the face of the dark material. They found joy and hope in something that is arguably quite bleak. I found that really rewarding and as somebody who is a fan of many things myself, I appreciate and relate to being enthusiastic about a show you love. I think it’s wonderful.



I can't wait to see who he kills with it.

(Dire bonsai tree?)

@BryanFuller: Super excited about what we're filming today! An EPIC FIGHT!

@BryanFuller: WHO IS HANGING OUT IN #HANNIBAL's MEAT PANTRY? pic.twitter.com/pK1hDgDLX3

@manatee73: me and P.K. the dolly grip?

(#I see what you did there #I'm not happy about it #I'm a little happy about it #[loudly implied cannibalism])

And then, NBC's new show The Blacklist happened. If a flower-crown beatdown posse shows up, I had nothing to do with it.

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Yay to better health! I am a huge supporter of Staying in Bed for Science. Or really any purpose.

I thought perhaps it wasn't really Gillian Anderson, but her stunt double or something? But then I don't know why she'd need a stunt double. Maybe dedicated GA fans can tell it's her from the back of her neck.

The bonsai is people!

Yeah, I just can't figure out why she'd have a double for a dialogue scene. For some reason, I'm more intrigued by her suit than anything else.

Regarding the other point, I'm just concerned all over again about my blood pressure because I was doing really well last week, and then... mania. Which tends to make me more reactive generally, more excitable or irritable, which in turn... not good. At least I know to watch out for it, I guess.

As much as I'd love for you to see Elementary, you shouldn't start on Season 2 until you've seen Season 1, there's a big thing in the last few episodes of Season 1 that Season 2 will likely spoil. Unless you've been spoiled by Tumblr, in which case it doesn't matter.

It's worth noting that I remember finding the first episode of Elementary a little weak, especially in comparison with how I felt about the show a few episodes in.

Yeah--I was actually already spoiled for the Natalie Dormer business, because Tumblr. But what I know of it does suggest that I would need to see all of that and not try to watch the second season without it.

Honestly, I tend to be pretty forgiving of first episodes, particularly since it may have been a pilot shot before everything else, and it may by its nature have a lot of Captain Obvious info-dumping. A first season often takes a few episodes to settle down; there may even be a huge quality jump from the first to the second. I mean, you know I adore The X-Files, but it happened there, too. I think that's why I realized Hannibal was going to be something special right then, after months of NOT SURE IF WANT, because (IMO) the first episode had none of those issues and was actually one of the strongest in the whole season.

Yeah, I also have times when I can't concentrate enough to read, either due to a manic episode or being very depressed. Usually I'll switch to manga or children's books or poetry during those times, because y'know, I can't NOT read!

It's frustrating, though. I had a goal to reread the Brother Cadfael mysteries this year, and I've only made it through 5 so far (of 20). And those are fairly short books!

I often go back to favorite books--comfort reading--because I can wander around my favorite parts and not have a problem, you know, remembering and comprehending the last sentence I just read. It's weird (and kind of distressing), because this "inability to focus to the point where I can't read" has only set in the last two or three years. Which is to say, I've clearly transitioned from benign hypomania towards actual, unpleasant mania, and that worries me.

I'm glad to know you're at least somewhat better, hope it will last.

Fuller's plans for season two make me nervous. (I'm not sure if I should spoiler-tag for the things he said in the interview, it's not detailed enough to count as an actual spoiler anyway... but I wonder just how season four's cast list is going to look like.)

Season two speculation

BASICALLY, YES. He has dropped dire enough hints about killing unspecified characters off that I am SCARED. Like, I keep thinking, surely Team Science is safe, because they just don't really come into the line of fire, as it were. SO FAR. I keep thinking Crawford's safe for the same reasons Will is safe--they're the two big characters in Red Dragon. I mean, I GUESS. Supposedly they're also committed to Freddie's big scene in Red Dragon. So basically I AM SUPER SCARED FOR ALANA AND BEDELIA. I'm hoping by "characters" he means "characters we introduce this season" as well. Like, kill Will's lawyer, whatever. But ALANA IS NOT FOR EATING.

Ha, I bet on The Blacklist, he's going to turn out to be her father, which puts a different spin on the whole 'tell me about your troubled childhood' thing. Plus, he knew a ton about her before he even met her.

Heh. I've just started hoping that the first episode was all up in the Silence of the Lambs stuff to get people to watch, and then it'll kind of bait-and-switch over to something a lot less derivative. It just reminds me of that period in the '90s where everything was Off-Brand Brilliant Imprisoned Sociopaths all the time. I thought we had moved past this, people.

Ooooh. I have something for you!

I went to a bookstore recently and someone had written this on the door:
Help Will Graham
It says "Help Will Graham"

THEN, I went back a while later, and someone had added to it:
Not You Dr Lector
It says "No, not You, Dr Lector, you sit down."

I thought you might get a kick out of that. I hope you haven't already seen it. :-)
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That is magical. It's like FRODO LIVES graffiti or something.
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I am super pissed about the Hannibal dvd. I got it for my birthday and it has basically zero extras. Fuck you, rubbish distributor. If you have them for the US, why can't you give them to us?

I wish I had realized you (and a ton of other people I heard from) were going to buy that, because I could have warned everyone. When I heard about it, I knew there was no way they'd put out the extras over there like a whole month before they came out over here. Why would they do that to y'all, the crap DVD trick?

"I really, really want to have watched, but do not know when I will watch, Elementary."

Oh gosh, I thought I was the only one who did this!! (Not with "Elementary," which I don't watch, but just with shows in general.)

Oh, it is basically the story of my life.

If you do jump into Season 2 of Elementary, you'll miss a lot of character development between Holmes and Watson, but I wouldn't say it's a deal breaker. It's just...from where they are in the pilot to where they end up in the season finale is a nice journey.

(Also: Sleepy Hollow reminds me a lot of Elementary; so if you like one, you'll probably like the other.)

I'm trying to decide if I also should stay away from Hannibal spoilers. But then I remember that we're still (probably) 6 months away from new episodes, and the BTS stuff is all I have.

Also, it was easier to avoid spoilers for the first season because no one was really paying attention or asking for information at that point. I don't know how I'm going to dodge them between Tumblr and "[COY BUT SPOILERY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT!]" headlines on Twitter. Do I just give up the agitation and go with it?

I wish my corgis would tolerate being vacuumed, except then I would just kill vacuums faster. Right now I have a dead Dirt Devil, a semi-dead Oreck, and a fatally wounded Hoover PetVac (that is less than a year old.)

God, I wish our dogs would let us vacuum them. Let's just cut out the middle man here, you know?

thinking of you, sending you long distance love and lots and lots of tea.

Aw, thank you. I actually do find that chamomile helps.

Oh god, rainy day headaches. If I'm not taking all of my sinus medication, rainy days make me want to drill holes through my cheekbones to relieve the pressure, it's that bad. Idk if yours are sinus related, though, or in some other way connected to barometric pressure and/or humidity levels.

Sometimes sinus, sometimes air pressure, and sometimes (apparently) blood pressure. I have wanted to drill holes through my temples, yeah.

I have just started watching Hannibal, and already I'm caught up in it and entranced by it. Such a thing to pull you in. God, to have a mind that brilliant. I'm not ready to make speculations, yet, but I will be on the constant look out for yours. Hence, I shall add you and look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and intelligent predictions.

As for how this post started out. I fully understand how you feel, I, myself, just got out of hospital and have been a mess, anxiety, muse and mentally wise. I just feel empty and sucked dry. I keep a watch on my own blood pressure with a home monitor and it fluctuates during this time, which cannot be good for me, my heartbeat getting up to 130 beats per minute at its worse and they tell me. "Stop stressing"

Well, maybe if I knew what I was stressing over then that would be entirely helpful. I hope you feel better soon, and your mind start flowing a little clearer, as does mine.

Luck and thanks for the read.~

Aw, thanks. And you too. The full recaps for the show start here, if you haven't seen those yet--


Been in the wars a bit, haven't you? Hope you feel better soon. Have you seen Bryan Fuller's tweet about Mads having blood on his lips in S2? I choose to interpret that as FACE EATING, THERE'S GONNA BE FACE EATING, and that gives me a warm feeling of satisfaction, personally. May it be so for you also.


Also recommending that you watch season 1 of Elementary first. The cases themselves barely matter, except for all the Natalie Dormer business, but its all about the partnership. This is my situation with The Americans- I'd love to watch it, but there are new Fall shows to watch. The "vampire Nikola Tesla" thing makes me laugh because of Sanctuary and Jonathon Young's performance in that show, but I'm sure he won't have that type of personality at all.

See, I wanted to watch The Americans, too. I just really got out of the habit of giving a shit about TV generally, and I just cannot make myself remember to watch things. Maybe if I get back into the habit generally as well...