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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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I am struggling with air pressure headaches as storm systems keep not quite coming in; the weather's been cool and sunny and beautiful this week, though. Scout is doing much better; good health. My sister had a big change at work a couple of weeks ago, on top of her physical recovery, and I think that seems to be going better than she expected. Right after I told you guys about the moths, I had to fight off an ant invasion in my bathroom; it had rained so much that they were coming in through the plumbing, I guess. I'm kind of sick of white vinegar now, but largely, I prevailed.

Thank you so much for all the comments on the previous entry; I may be able to go back and reply to a few, I don't know, but I figured you guys would rather me dedicate my energy to finishing a thing, if I only have enough energy for one or the other. I've gotten a ton done on the "Mukozuke" recap this week, but I've also hit that point where it feels like it's never going to get done. This is usually followed by "holy shit, it's done, how did that happen," so I guess we're on schedule.

Lots of work. I'm not sleeping again, but I'm not having panic attacks at night currently. Did I mention those? Sometimes when I'm trying to fall asleep, I get absolutely convinced that I am going to die of a heart attack in the next five minutes. Not that I am currently dying, but that I'm going to. It's literally panic. Apparently those are brought on by stress? I usually get through them by calling my own bluff--"Okay, fine, DIE then. See how you're not dying? Yeah."

(Here are 6 Symptoms of Women's Heart Attacks. Notice how they sound a lot like panic attack symptoms. The differences are worth noticing, though.)

Still teaching my brain to sentence the words again; my thoughts seem to be taking on paragraph shapes again with practice. I'm also trying to teach myself to just hit "post" again instead of writing something about this long, saving the draft, and never coming back to it. So, here we are.

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Here is a technique that will help with the panic attacks. It's called 'Chi breathing', and was taught to me long ago by a traditional Chinese healer, but it also has sound modern science behind it. The more you practice it, the better it works:

1. Breathe in through your nose 'as if smelling a flower' to a slow count of six. Pause.
2. Breathe out through your nose to a slow count of six. Pause. Repeat.

... it sounds too simple to be credible, but for a lot of people, it'll stop a panic attack or anxiety-spiral right in its tracks.

Very good to see you here again; hope the headaches and the bugs go away!

Yay for hitting post!

Also, the above mentioned breathing technique also works for helping to sleep if one is having trouble doing so. As well as pain management.

I was taught for the pain management, as you're breathing out to focus your exhalation in your mind's eye to the area in pain, and with each breath to push a little bit of the pain away. Sounds a little strange, but it's worked for me in the past, for tense muscles, headaches, cramps etc.

One step at a time! This is my mantra for stress and stuff. It's so good to see you posting again!

Good to know that your sister and Scout both do better. I hope your own state of everything will soon improve too, and various insects will stop trying to take over your house.

(I don't have full-blown panic attacks as much as the fear of going to sleep because my heart seems to act weirdly, but otherwise your situation is more familiar than I'd like it to be. You have my sympathies.)

*send you lot of hugs and positive vibes*
I hope you'll feel better soon. Your Hannibal recaps are the best !
Hopefully season 3 is comming and it will bring all the fannibals some fun in this dark reality. That HeAteUs was way too long.

Glad to hear that things are turning for the better, Cleo. :) Oh, and I'm thirding the TCM-based breathing technique. My mother has heart problems and high blood pressure and it works for her all the time, hoping the same from you.

And good luck on your recaps!


This is something a bit more personal, but I have to ask it here since I don't have your email address:

[Spoiler (click to open)]Have you heard from queenanthai lately? In the previous months I've been commenting on her LJ (and thrilled to see her respond), but yesterday I revisited her page and realised that she'd Friend-locked the whole thing! You don't have to go into detail but is she having a rough time in her life or something? I hope it wasn't anything I said. It sounds paranoid but now I can't check for it myself. :( I've LJ-friended her a long time ago and it's totally understandable that she chose not to friend me back so far, but still I'm pretty worried now. The thing is, in one of her replies she told me her email address since I mentioned sending her an email and failing (turns out she's using yahoo! and not hotmail as her profile indicates), so I composed a short letter and sent it to her on March 30th, along with a picture of a kitten with a cake since it was her birthday. It's been nearly a month now and I haven't gotten any respond yet, therefore I'd really appreciate it if someone could ask her if she got the email and just didn't have the time to write anything back, or if it got lost in the aether and she never got it, or if I said anything offensive in it and this is her way of saying "Don't ever contact me again".

My thanks in advance.


Oh, and a friendly reminder re: Gotham —

After Fish Mooney gets abducted and sent into a large basement, drop the show and switch to reading Wikipedia plot summaries instead, there's a major eye-squick sequence coming and I don't even know the episode number 'cuz I followed the show only sporadically and saw it in a "Previously" sequence and already was like NOPENOPENOPENOPE. [The gruesome details]The mad scientist is doing head swaps and other organ transplants, and everyone in the basement is a future "donor", they wanted to lay their hands on Fish but she screamed "You'll never get me the way you want" and took out her left eye with a spoon... and we get to see the eye on the floor. This was worse than Amanda Plummer, Cleo. It's way more graphic and less elegant and your eye-squick didn't even permit you to look at the Hannibal scene, not to mention this one came so suddenly as opposed to the whole drawn-out "Oh you can't move now, Sweetie? Time for the hammer and spike..." gig.

Edited at 2015-04-25 12:56 am (UTC)

The scene is in Gotham episode 117, "Red Hood," and they show the scene again in the recap at the beginning of episode 118, "Everyone Has a Cobblepot."

Thanks for telling! I hope Cleo sees this as well.

Well, I don't watch Gotham, so I don't think it'll be a problem.

*nods* Just be careful in case it pops up on tumblr or something.

Edited at 2015-04-25 07:27 am (UTC)

It's not anything you did; Dayna had some privacy problems and has had to lock things down for a while. I'll ask her about the email.

*exhales in relief* Glad to hear that, hope she succeeds in dealing with the perpetrator.

My first panic attacks were nighttime I'm-going-to-die-in-the-night panic attacks. They SUCK.

Every step is a success no matter how small. :)

sorry that you are having trouble sleeping. It's such a vicious cycle - so tired but mind spinning and terrible thoughts. Try the breathing exercises listed above, hope they help.

Congratulations on hitting post, something I haven't managed to do in, oh, four months? I'm glad to hear your sister is doing better and I hope that soon you are too.

My panic attacks are actually closer to women heart attack symptoms than panic attack symptoms, down to the heat and sweating. I've only thought I was going to die twice during a panic attack: My first panic attack I remember having in freshman year of college, and a panic attack I had randomly in the middle of the day a year and a half ago, when I wouldn't have even had a good reason to have a panic attack. It's usually the heat/sweating, heart racing, and suddenly realizing, "Ugh, not this again."

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