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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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So Surprise Gender Swap Twilight was a thing that happened
I may write an overall summary later, but for now, here is the complete livetweet/discussion (seven days over two weeks) of Twilight Reimagined: Life and Death. The last day is in two parts, because unexpectedly there as A DIVERGENCE and I had to recap the last three chapters twice over. And one of those chapters was an UNBELIEVABLE epilogue that had more plot than the entire rest of the book before it.

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(Deleted comment)
That's the thing, though, she DIDN'T continue it with the parents. Charlie and Renée remain the same. And since dads could/did get custody sometimes... I'm not sure why she just REALLY wanted to do that.

(Deleted comment)
That's what I'm saying, the mom continues to be the main-custody parent. Bella/Beau leave Renée in Phoenix to go live with Charlie in Forks, that's not changed at all.

I think that's the thing, though. In the 70s/80s, in general, the mother had to be found an unfit parent for the dad to get custody, and she didn't want to turn Renee (who seemed flaky, but not actually unfit) into an unfit mother--especially since then it would seem odd for Charlie (or whatever their new names would be) to send teenaged Beau to live with his mother. At the very least, it would take more explanation than the setup is really worth.

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It could have made it more interesting, I will definitely agree. But I don't think Meyer finds anything interesting about the story before her human meets her vampire.

My browser froze up partway through The Last Bit, You Know The One and refused to load any more tweets for several minutes. It literally broke the internet for me.

Ah, the Rise and Fall of the Roman Vampire. slayed me.

Thanks for enduring this shitty universe yet again, for our entertainment.

FINALLY I got to read the ending! (I missed the last day's tweeting because real life.) Oh, my God, how horrifying. It's like Meyer was feeling nostalgic for the way everybody lost their shit over "Breaking Dawn" the first time around and was like, "Hmm, how can we recapture that?"

I wish I had money to put in your tip jar. You deserve compensation for your pain and suffering.

Bless your heart, you brave soul.

Your livetweeting made an extreeemely cranky week so. much. better. :D Thank you for the huge amount of effort, tea and angst it took!

Hey and also I now have 2 Aromaleigh orders on their way to me - Best Bonus Ever!

I am so excited to read this.

aaaahhhh sparkle8 won't load for me. :(

also: how does one get in twitter jail? clearly i don't tweet often enough for it to ever happen to me ...

I read the THE DIVERGENCE with my eyes wide, my mouth wider but with my hand clapped over it, trying desparately not to break into hysterical noises lest I wake my husband. Brava, Cleo, and thank you for taking one for the team.

Damn, that book was all kinds of messed up.

Also, the main thought I had re: L&D and 50 Shades... just as we found Bella's sex drive as more compelling, would a 50 Shades swap be more interesting? A woman in power making such a contract and demanding what she wants? I mean, I sincerely hope it never happens because the world cannot take much more, but...

I think 50Shades would still be creepy and abusive with a woman (I guess she would be into BDSM because of her unresolved daddy issues?), and I think that more people would agree that the backstory with Elena (or whatever the new name would be) is child abuse if it was Alan Lincoln and a teenaged Christina Grey.

I can't decide if EL James would write it because she can't NOT rip off Meyer, or if she wouldn't because I suspect she thinks (despite Grey's backstory) that dominant women are icky.

that was, um, something.
You are (still) so amazing.
(and Beau is a monster.)

Wow. That that really how she originally intended to end Twilight?

I never thought I'd find a reason to be grateful for the sequels (except maybe Michael Sheen as Aro), but Bella's development such as it was is so much less monstrous than Beau's here. Yeek.

I may or may not have made rather distressing noises of giggles and terrified whimpering at work while reading this. So naturally, I shared this, which led to sharing the links to the original recaps, which led to me listening to the episodes of Made of Fail where you played Horrify the Twilight Noob. In conclusion, thank you. :)

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