Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

So I just got this email:

Re: Charity Organisations

And I'm thinking, huh. Maybe this is about that Peter Pan thing I was thinking of doing.


Dear Friend,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday.


(Please feel sorry for me.)

My name is Paul Dickson, a merchant in Dubai,

(Not Nigeria? You sure?)

in the U.A.E. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine,

(DAMN DIRTY CANCER!)

and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when I have a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.

(Why do I get the feeling that "Paul" isn't a native speaker of English? There's nothing wrong with his diction; it's just a little... off.)

I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close friends. I have decided to give arms to charity organizations and give succour and comfort to the less priviledged in our societies, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization and to the less priviledged in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be content with what I have left for them.


(Selfish hors.)

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twelve Million Dollars($12m) that I have with a Security company in Europe for safe keeping. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and disburse it to some charity organizations and to the less priviledged, and possibly displaced persons.

(Because, clearly, I don't have a lawyer or a secretary or an assistant or any sort of disinterested business associate who can do this for me. I need you, a grad student in Alabama, to step up to the plate.)

Please send me a mail to indicate if you will assist me in this disbursement.

I have set aside 10% for you for your time and patience.


(OF COURSE YOU HAVE.)

Please, respond urgently.

("OMG of course I'll help you in exchange for some of the money--wait, isn't this exactly the problem with your family?")

Rgds.

(So urgently that I don't even have time to spell words out.)

Paul Dickson

(Reply To Email address: pdickson_2505@*****.com)
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