March 14th, 2004

black ribbon

More from the Black Ribbon reading list...

So... yeah. Don't ever read Sarah Bernhardt's First American Theatrical Tour if you're in the mood for a fun, light read. Here, I can summarize:

Once upon a time, Sarah Bernhardt was a famous French actress, but she was broke, and the Comédie Française was pissing her off, so she decided to put on an American tour in 1880. Woo! Sarah + U.S. 4evah!

When she got there, everyone started making fun of how thin and Jewish and mercenary she was, even though I didn't really see much evidence of any of that (well, I mean, the Jewish, all right. The bridge of her nose was a bit high. Big deal). They drew nasty caricatures and wrote stupid parodies and got all offended that she was an unmarried mother and a demimondaine or whatever, proving that we Americans didn't just put our noses up our asses yesterday, thank you very much. No, it's quite the tradition.

So. In this city they liked her acting but didn't like her socially (Scholar, 335).

In this city, they liked her acting AND they liked her socially (Primary Source, 63).

In this city, they didn't like her acting, but they loved her socially anyway (Dead Guy, 498).

In this city, they didn't like her acting OR like her socially (Scholar, 23).

And in this city, they liked her acting, but they didn't like her socially (Author Quotes Herself, 284).

(Repeat for 75 cities. Also, a giant dead whale exhibit kept following her. The food was bad and the hotels were worse. And in Mobile, Alabama, the set fell on her.)

So, in conclusion: Sarah Bernhardt's tour was a complete and resounding success! She was the most brilliant actress evar! Woo! Sarah + U.S. 4evah!


I don't even feel like talking about Martyrdom of an Empress. It's that bad.
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galadriel

(no subject)

We sat down tonight and actually had dinner around the kitchen table like a family, in honor of Sister Girl's boyfriend Mr. Kyle being on furlough, or whatever it is he's on. I hate family dinners. There's never anything to talk about, and after my mother complained that all I talk about is movies, I've been left with nothing to talk about. And that's what makes me angry--you know, maybe I talk only about movies because there's nothing else to talk about. As it is, we sit around and they talk about the military. Or George does, rather. And when Kyle's here, George and Kyle talk about the military, and the awesome food in the military, and the stupid berets in the military, and the annoying bureaucracy in the military. And Mom and Sister Girl nod and interject like nice little army wives. I mean, maybe I'm tired of hearing about the military, and ... it isn't advisable to talk about war over here.

Politics? Please--war entirely aside, because even the army guys in the family are against the war--I'm a liberal. It was a long hard fight before my parents finally got disillusioned with Bush.

Current events? Generally too gruesome. Also, if it involves any sort of foreign country at all ("The Socialists in Spain won the election"), political leanings come back into play ("Damn commies"). Let's not even mention the spectre of gay marriage.

Music? Oh, not even. George was in the army band until recently, and now plays the random gig here and there. I'm upstairs listening to--well, this past week "Tori Amos" and "Siouxsie and the Banshees" have cropped up a lot. I have hideous taste in music and haven't listened to the radio in a few years now. My parents do watch American Idol. That's good for 5-15 minutes of conversation sometimes. Sometimes.

Books? George is reading two books currently: one about Iwo Jima, and another called "Flyboys."

TV? My parents really enjoy watching the History Channel and whatever that mail call show with R. Lee Ermey is. Oh, and JAG. Is JAG still on?

School? Which part do you want me to talk about, the "Literature of Antebellum Reform" part or the "I don't know when I'll finish my degree" part?

But movies: everyone likes movies. Mom's cousin works in the industry. There are war movies. New movies come out all the time. We see movies all the time. It's pretty easy to keep politics out of movies (although it's just as easy to squeeze them back in, I admit). But no, I'm "obsessed with movies," not "desperately searching for a common ground that won't start an argument." And so now I don't talk at all.

And then my mother comes up later and asks, "Why were you so quiet at dinner? It kinda looked... antisocial."

STAB STAB STAB!

I wish Vladimir were here. I would have someone to talk to at dinner--more than that, someone who could say, "Look, GI Joe, I fought in a goddamn war, so stuff it."

Maybe that's my Rescue Me, I'm a Princess complex talking. As in, I was never a Daddy's girl, I was always "Sport," and I always wanted to be a princess. (As in, before my alias was "Cleolinda Jones," it was "Princess Cleolinda.") Except that now that I'm older, I don't think I'd enjoy being a princess much. I have a feeling I'd rather be a queen. I'd rather have my court around me like, "SHHHH! Do not speak of the army, IT VEXES THE QUEEN. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, THE QUEEN IS VEXED!"

Yes. I would like to be a queen. Maybe a pirate queen. Arrr.
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