April 3rd, 2004


"...as shots are wont to do"

I saw something about "bad high school student metaphors" on metaquotes and thought of an email I'd posted on my blog back in September:

All right, I can't vouch for the authenticity of these "high school essay" excerpts--I'm suspicious if only because the comedy is so masterful. So here you are anyway (thanks, Vicki M):

Subject: essay excerpts

Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

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ETA: AHHHH! Now I know why the eclipse one sounded familiar! Here's the original metaquotes entry. Apparently some comedian on Comedy Central has used at least one of these as well.

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Upcoming movies

I am so focused on movies in production that--lately--I've been totally at a loss when those movies just "suddenly" come out. It's like looking so far ahead down the road when you're driving that you don't even notice when the car ahead of you stops. Therefore, a rundown of movies coming out this month, courtesy Greg's Previews at Yahoo, who I still fondly remember as "that guy at Upcoming Movies.com." It's a feature I used to do on the Digest, but it's easier to do it in my journal on Semagic. Or something. Whatever. Collapse )


Meme/quiz result dumping ground #3

A new season, a new page. In case you're wondering, I really do all those quizzes and memes; I just tuck them away where they don't spam my f-list. (That means, yes, I'm adding more to this page as I do them.) Previous dumping grounds are here and here.

cleolinda is a restricted area. Authorised personel only


From Go-Quiz.com

Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in
games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be
with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves
attention. Loves to be loved.
Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short
tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in
oneself. Hates restrictions.
Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test
CategoryYour ScoreAverage LJer
Community Attachment35.48%
There's something special about you. Every once in awhile, one of your topics gets everyone chatting.
Easily amused
Original Content58.06%
Using LiveJournal to express a few strong opinions
Psychodrama Quotient7.23%
Warning: Can Flame When Necessary
Attention Whoring38.64%
This quiz is part of a grand scheme to keep people reading

I took the most accurate villain personality test

created by:
The Arch Villainess Gracie

speak and spell
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Discover your Zodiac Personality
Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me

I'm a Moonflower. I only bloom at night and I'm pollinated by moths. Kinky, huh? This flower means "I dream of love" and I do.
What bloom are you? by Polly_Snodgrass

Stormknight's LiveJournal Auto-Hero. Click here to get your own!

A very "special" dictionary. by lily22
Look up:
Definition:To study like a madman the night before a test, only to find out the next day in class that the test has been canceled; in law, the crime of assaulting a teacher for no apparent reason while fellow classmates are celebrating the sudden lack of a test.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

You're a Dialogue/Character Writer!

:: how jedi are you? ::

Which poem are you?

The Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath

To you, love is desperate and hateful. You're wildly passionate and wildly inventive. You're also likely to start stalking people.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence in the 107th Congress
You are the 'Hold Out Democrat'! You have some
good ideas but no can seem to remember them,
why is that? You echo compromise in your
suggestions which is perhaps misconstrued as a
weakness. But this flexibility is your
strength. On the dark side: You don't trust
yourself enough to firmly plant your feet. Your
logical voice has been lost to the screams of
the radical, the screeching of the hawks and
even the silence of the Republicans. Bob Graham
represents you because his, too, was a voice
lost to deaf ears. Although, Chairman of the
Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, he was
among a sparse number of Democrats to vote,
"Nea" to invade Iraq. Some Advice:
It's time to be vocal. Be loud and be
reasonable helping to prove that the middle of
the road is not the most dangerous place to be.

Which way do sway on current issues (U.S.)?
brought to you by Quizilla

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