June 29th, 2005

msauvage purple

Empire 1:1, "Pilot"

Hmm. Well, now that I have the time, it suddenly occurred to me that I should recap Empire. I mean, hey, it's only six episodes, right? Also, ABC would have you know that it is THE BIGGEST TELEVISION EVENT OF THE SUMMER!!, because, judging from the commercials, nothing says "quality TV" like "women wearing fruit."

But they're showing two of those episodes tonight [Editor's note: I started writing this right after the show ended. You'll see what I mean]--that is so much recapping! Woe unto me, what shall I do? So I watched it in a chat room with some fine folks as a means of sort of taking notes. Little did I realize, however, that this is basically fifteen minutes of show in a two-hour bag. Which is still plenty of time to get drunk, if you play the Crap Miniseries Drinking Game, Empire Edition: drink whenever you hear "Hail Caesar!," "...for the Republic!," "protect," and, if you really have an iron liver, anything stolen from a movie. Warning: I am not responsible for the inevitable death by alcohol poisoning if you do this.

Collapse )