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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

In no particular order...
elizabeth
cleolinda
Smashup 2006 Update: Sister Girl, while sore and headachy, seems to be fine. We did hear from Sgt. Campus Guy, however, that they put Mr. Magoo's [real] name into the system to look for his expired license, and he wasn't even in there. They're now not even sure he ever had a license. The car can't be fixed until Wendy the Insurance Investigator gets over to the lot tomorrow to look at it, but she's going tomorrow, I think. I'm not entirely sure how they're going to fix it, but I'm assuming it's going to involve a door transplant, a hood graft and maybe an oil transfusion. Maybe they can get Rocky in there to assist.

Paramount ditches Tom Cruise. My favorite part about this story is that they don't even try to make up some "creative differences" excuse or let him say that he's leaving amicably or whatever. No, they bust right out with "His recent conduct has not been acceptable."

And then they go sign a deal with the South Park boys.

Clive Owen and his Raleigh beard on the cover of GQ. Plus, more pics from The Golden Age. Also, I went to the main page for the movie on that site, and the dated news entries seem to indicate... well, she ain't no Virgin Queen, is all I'm saying. But then, I guess we knew that from the first installment.

New pics from Marie Antoinette. The Vogue scans: so pretty. In fact, I'm gonna lay my bets down now: Marie Antoinette for Best Costumes 2007. Hell, it would win Most Costumes hands down.

(I want to live in a world where I can wear this dress so bad.)

Better pictures of the first six Lost action figures.

Live rattlesnakes released during SOAP showing. I'm hearing, however, that it was really more like one snake, and it was Arizona, so it was more like our friend the chipmunk just wanting to get out of the heat and catch a species-appropriate movie.

Speaking of which, Snakes on a Plane may not be a nature documentary. "Some of the animation was quite impressive, but their actual behaviour - leaping at people's faces and hanging on - was totally wrong. The posturing was a bit silly, too. Snakes very rarely hiss with their mouths open unless they are threatened. The highlight was seeing a giant Burmese python bare its teeth and growl like a rottweiler. They haven't got any muscles in their lips! They couldn't bare their teeth if they tried."

Survivor to divide teams by race; nation shocked that show is apparently still on air. Whee! It's the Happy Fun Segregation Hour!

To freshmen, Google was always a verb. Or, How to Feel Old in 475 Words.

Brendan Fraser to star in Inkheart. I haven't read these books, but I hear they're good...?


"Harry Potter V: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Yeah, this one's a little gross. I really don't need a press release about how Loving and Tender Harry's first kiss is. I'll take it on faith, thanks.

Trailer for Little Children, with Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly, and Patrick Wilson; brought to you by Todd Field, screenwriter/director of In the Bedroom, "That Guy Who Played the Piano in Eyes Wide Shut," and voice of Ol' Drippy on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (Yes, I am available to write trailer scripts, thanks for asking.)

(What, you think "IN A WOOOORLD" writes itself?)

Have y'all been following the saga of Aldo Kelrast over on Mary Worth and/or the Comics Curmudgeon? Because it's like some unholy combination of The Gift of Fear and The Golden Girls or something. Unholy and awesome.

Hey! I didn't know they had a Weird US TV show! Hey! It comes on tomorrow morning, too!

Okay, this one's a little complicated, so put your reading glasses on. Forbes posted an article (which, as I understand it, is no longer there) about how men shouldn't marry career women. (Gawker's take: "Shocker: Forbes Recommends Trophy Wives.") Someone on JournalFen grabbed the text before it went down, but the short version is, career women make bad wives because they're too busy to wipe your ass on a daily basis and also, their actually leaving the house makes it more likely that they'll find someone who is not, in fact, a total dicksmack. I wish I was kidding, but I'm kind of not. The Forbes forums go up in flames. Forbes takes the article down (HA ha!), but the board posts remain. Best response, female (long format): Pwnt in nine easy steps. Best response, male (short format): "I like it when guys like you say things like this in public. It makes it easier for guys like me to get laid. Thanks, man, for taking one for the team." For the win!

ETA: wakuchan says it's been reposted--this time with a rebuttal.



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