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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

Avast ye, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day!
yahoo pirate
cleolinda

Yarrrr, me scurvy knaves and salty dogs, 'tis a misty morn on the Good Ship Split Infinitive, and we've a strong breeze in our sails. Nathless, yer good cap'n, the Dread Cleolinda, spent yonder night tossin' and turnin' in her bunk. Me sniffer be bunged up, and I be hackin' up slime beasties since the wee hours o' the morn. It be not me timbers that be shivered so much as me sinuses, arrrr.

For those of ye still at sea as to what the day be about, yer cap'n provide ye with four links:

Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19.

TalkLikeAPirateDay.

The Pirate's Realm.

The Pirate Game: Pirate Glossary.


A tale to warm the heart of any red-blooded sea dog: Bonny lass be receivin' the first bionic hand. In me own day, young sprats, we made do with hooks, we did, and we liked it.

(No, 'tis true, we did. Jolly times we had, openin' cans and scratchin' up landlubbers' carrrrrs with 'em.)

ursulav be a mad wench. (Yarrr, yer cap'n warns ye, yonder page may not be safe for work.)

Bonny Kythryne of Wearable Sculpture be havin' a sale on fine trinkets today, as well as givin' out free pirate boxes to a few lucky souls.

A wee fellow to put in yer crow's nest.

Master Snicket be sighted over the horizon!

Give some love to wee Pluto, poor sod.

Meanwhile, I be settlin' down to close me deadlights an' take a wee caulk for a few hours more, in hopes that the mutiny in me nose be simmerin' down some time soon.



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Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Robitussin
pirate
cleolinda
Begad, me old salts, it's come to this: me poxy sinuses mutinied and put me out to sea in a longboat wi' naught but maggoty hardtack, a blackjack o' water, and me last linkspam. I'd've been set out to feed the fish but for the bonny crew that came and weighed me up like an anchor. Up then strode a buccaneer with a monkey on his shoulder and a glint in his eye, and saw that I weren't sailin' with a full set o' sails, as t'were. "Aye, lass, ye look as though ye've climbed out of Davy Jones' bilge. Care to splice the mainbrace with us? The grub is passin' fair as well."

"T'won't do no good," says I, a-snorflin' back another length of slime from the depths of me lights. "Food an' drink hold no charm for me now, mate."

The good cap'n stared at me with a new gleam in his deadlights. "Do ye drink and never quench yer thirst? Do ye taste no morsel? Do ye feeeeel no warmth?"

"Aye, or close enough to it as to feel well nigh scuppered and scuttled," says I.

"Then ye've fallen under the curse as well! The curse of the Aztec gold!" says he.

"The what?" says I.



ARRR! IT BE A MUTINY IN THE FAR EAST!

Avast, the wee lass pillaged from her mother's arms at the point of a knife be found.

Seize yer pirate name here! Me new pirate name be Voodoo Prudence, or, as me friends Sealegs Ethel and Deadeye Peg reckon, Voodoo Prue.

Animatronic Elmo TMX be unveiled. Arrr, the TMX be meanin' "Tickle Me Extreme." I says we kill it wi' fire, says I.

None o' this would happen if they'd farm seabiscuit and grog like the rest of us.

Some luckless dog lost his yardarm, went and plundered a new one, and now's lost that one, too. Or, as the lubbers marked it, "First penis transplant reversed after two weeks." Arrrrrrrrrrrr. That be... that be unfortunate.

Johnny Depp be not in I Am Legend.

But he be on the Dead Man's Chest DVD this December. (A pox on lazy journalists who be not includin' the release date in the first link!)

ARRRRR! Captain Brad be boardin' Wee Wild-Eyed Tommy's ship an' claimin' it for his own!


An' to finish, one final howler for ye:

"Hey," says the barkeep, he says, "we don't serve sheep here!" The Boston pirate shrugs. "He said wanted to go to the baaaaaaa."



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