Went to the doctor today. My suggestion was to try inching up the Lamictal, much more slowly than that 50 mg to 100 mg jump last month, rather than try to fool with anything new just yet. I actually felt really good when I started the Lamictal, and things only derailed after that jump, so we're going to try that. She--my doctor--mentioned that I might should try (ah, Southern verb constructions) lithium if this doesn't work. I don't know why my gut reaction to "lithium" is dread, but I'm really hoping this works out.
Having really bizarre moodswings--so I write this very sad, depressed entry (and thank you so much for all your comments and support--I don't know if I can even express how much that means) that was meant to serve two purposes: here's why the Lost recaps aren't done, and if you've been reading my medication entries with an eye towards changing your own meds, you need to know how and why they're not working for me at the moment. I don't know. It just seems irresponsible, now that a few people have told me they are keeping an eye on how Lamictal works from a first-person experience, not to record what's going on. And so I start writing that entry and it turns into the self-pity party of the century. So then I go through my mp3 folders, where I have a ton of music I haven't ever listened to (it's like getting entirely new music at random!) and dug up Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love." And after a few listens, I decided I really liked it. It's really relaxing and... again, this is one of my odd mental pictures, but it's like a rainy day at a tropical resort, just hanging out and drinking mai tais and watching the rain. Which, for some reason, was really appealing to me at that moment. About an hour later, I realize that... I'm in a really good mood. It's really, really strange. I wake up feeling pretty good this morning as well. Then, mid-morning, complete pissosity. The moodswings are getting a bit dizzying, is what I'm saying. And the weird part is that my dosage levels have been stable for two or three weeks now--I can't think of a reason my moods would suddenly be so erratic, unless they were erratic all this time and I just didn't notice. Because, see, I've just been consistently pissy for about two weeks now, so the existential despair/mellow chillaxity twofer just gave me a bit of whiplash. Which is to say, I feel like this entry is a bit disjointed, particularly what with a large discussion of Borat in the middle of the linkspam down there, but I kind of don't care to do anything about it.
More importantly, though, our long national nightmare is over: Britney dumps K-Fed, and The Best Week Ever has the pre-nup details. Short version: Federline is screwed.
Tons of people who aren't even Britney fans have mentioned feeling inexplicable glee at the news, which I can explain thusly: it's not that we necessarily like Britney. Some of us do, to be sure. No, it's that we all, as a planet and a people, regardless of race, religion, or creed, loathe Kevin Federline, and thus we all are crying out as if with one voice: "AHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
From Erin Marie (I didn't catch your username!): "Since you plug some pretty fabulous charity sites, I thought I might send you a site that I think it wonderful--www.buyforcharity.com. The site lets you sign up for a free account, and they have agreements with a TON of major retailers that allow a portion of your online orders to be donated to the charity of your choice. And the charities range from AIDS research to the United Way, and include civic organizations, national charities, and nonproffit groups from around the country. I found out about this site from the NephCure organization, which supports patients and families dealing with a certain kind of kidney disease, which my husband has. BuyforCharity is easy, free, and with Christmas around the corner, it's a great way to give something back."
foresthouse: "I have an unholy need for the song that plays during the end credits of MirrorMask, "If I Apologized," and I wondered if you might ask anyone who reads your journal if they might have it. If someone does, I def. recommend it - it's very ethereal-sounding, and the words are by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean."
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I lost a draft I had with some by-request linkspam, so if you've asked me to post something recently and I didn't, check back with me in the comments (yes, I will remember if you really asked me or not).