November 21st, 2008


The human is late for breakfast

I checked comment notification emails in the middle of the night (what? I get up for a drink of water a lot) and saw this: "I just needed to tell somebody-- I live down the block from a movie theatre...and I can hear them screaming from my house...they just keep screaming!"

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So my mother's shouting up the stairs, as she usually does right before she leaves work, you know, anything she feels the need to tell me before she leaves ("THE PLUMBER GUY SAYS HE WILL BE HERE BETWEEN EIGHT AND FIVE, OH, AND SCOUT'S THROWING UP AGAIN"), so today she shouts, "THEY JUST HAD SOMETHING ABOUT TWILIGHT ON FOX AND FRIENDS." Hey! I thought we agreed you weren't going to watch Fox News anymore! "THE GUY? THE GUY EVERYONE'S GOING CRAZY OVER?" I should stop here and say that last night she saw him on Access Hollywood last night and blurted out, "He looks like a greaser! What a waste!" (If she calls you a "greaser," just go on home. There's nothing more she's going to have to do with you. Also, apparently it's the '50s.) But this morning, she has had a change of heart: "HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE JOHNNY DEPP." What? "YOU KNOW, WITH THE NOT WASHING." Snerk. "THE WAY PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY OVER HIM, IT'S KIND OF LIKE HARRISON FORD AS INDIANA JONES OR JOHNNY DEPP AS JACK SPARROW. IT'S NOT HIM, IT'S THE CHARACTER." Well-spotted! Except... oh God, she just related Robert Pattinson and/or Edward to the two movie characters she is obsessed with. "I KINDA... WANT TO SEE IT NOW." This is the beginning of the end, y'all.

No review links, because I've already given you a couple of resources for those. On with the Twi-spam: Collapse )

Place your bets, place your final bets:

This poll is closed.

How much will Twilight make this weekend?

$20 million or less
$20-30 million
$30-40 million
$40-50 million
$50-60 million
$60 million or more
Depends on when the teenbarian hordes' allowance runs out

ETA: Warning, there may be spoilers discussed in the comments.

ETA 2: From dramaturgca: San Francisco riot survivor wins The Vampire Volvo on Tyra after a pie-eating contest while Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner watch in disbelief. I just keep sitting here reading this over and over going, "What? What?"

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I can't even think of a title

I knew this was going to happen, and yet--I still can't quite believe it myself:

'Twilight': Early box office is bloody good!
The film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer's vampire-romance saga scored $7 million from shows at midnight on Thursday, and it's on pace to bank as much as $30 mil on Friday, Variety reports. That Harry Potter-esque sum would rank in the Top 20 of the biggest opening-day grosses in history. Moreover, the film is almost assured of exceeding its expected $60-mil-plus first-weekend haul -- by far.

Oh God.

Meanwhile, Robert Pattinson finally agrees to bite someone.

Oh, and--remember the conversation I had with my mother this morning? I sent her a picture from the movie and two magazine shots, and she emailed me back, I don’t necessarily agree with the crazies, but I can see what draws some of these girls to him………

It's all over, you guys. She's gonna be a TwiMom by Thanksgiving.

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