March 9th, 2009

galadriel doll

The last straw

So... Anna's been going a little crazy. I finally got Elizabeth to tell me what they'd been arguing about, and it was simply that Anna does not trust The Littlest Edward. At all. Ever. Period.

"It doesn’t matter what I say—nothing gets through to her. I mean, yeah, he creeps me out a little with his hunching and lurking and—smelling, but he’s not doing anything wrong, and he’s even going out of his way to stay away from people."

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reiko

Too tired to think of a title

Depression: Can't tell if I would just feel bad no matter what--I think there was a legitimate, cyclical hormone dip late last week, which is partly why I felt so horrible--and (whichever topic) is the one I have chosen to gnaw on, or if (whichever topic) is making me feel bad, and if that's the case, if a strong attempt to redirect my thoughts would help. I mean, it probably couldn't hurt anyway, but I guess I'm curious as to whether redirecting my thoughts would make the situation better, or if I'd just settle into some new fixation. Because it's a hopeless topic. It's not something I can fix, it's not something I can do anything to improve, and it's doing a number on my self-esteem, which is leaking out all over everything else.

(Sometimes I think that it might be too late for so many of the things I wanted to accomplish, even though I'm only thirty. To late to catch a trend, too late to be a child prodigy, too late for young love. Well, if that's the case--fuck it, I might as well just have fun, right?)

So. If the sun comes out tomorrow, I'm going to go outside on that photo safari I meant to take a few weeks ago. Take some more pictures of flowers and foliage, basically--I can get some camera practice in, now that I've started thinking of photography as a minor hobby. I've just got to stop angsting and get on with living.

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