August 20th, 2009


True story

Guys, my mother just found my phone in the washing machine. I washed my phone. I have no phone because I washed it.

Reader, I confess, I started laughing really hard. She looked like she wanted to throttle me.

ETA: I've told you how we bought the Geek Squad contract and my mother's so in love with the concept of the Geek Squad and how they will come fix everything and Make It All Better? Finally I said, look, just CALL THEM, whatever, I just washed MY PHONE, I DON'T CARE. So while she does that, I check my email, I read the news, I finally read the Best Buy: Geek Squad Gouges article at The Consumerist. Not FIVE MINUTES LATER, she storms in and announces that the Geek Squad 1) can't get here until August 31st which is 2) the same day as my dentist appointment (I started laughing hysterically at that point, just because: COME ON NOW, REALLY) and 3) they want to charge us $145 to come out and, essentially, look at the thing and maybe load Microsoft Office. "I THOUGHT THAT THE POINT OF THE CONTRACT WAS FOR THEM TO COME OUT AND FIX THINGS BECAUSE WE HAD ALREADY PAID THEM WHAT IS THIS WHY DID WE EVEN GIVE THEM ANY MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE CONTRACT??????????" she capslocked.

Apparently as the call was ending, whoever she was talking to asked if she had received good customer service. My mother paused for a long, long time. "You were very nice to me on the phone," she said finally.

ETA: Y'ALL, MY MOTHER'S CAR IS DEAD. She went out to the garage just now and it was just cold as a stone. Wouldn't even make a noise. "It's either the battery or the alternator," she said. But she doesn't know WHY--she didn't leave anything on to run it down. I couldn't stop laughing, in that "I have no other response left" way--well, I stopped when I realized she was near tears. "And I don't have Triple A anymore, because we couldn't afford it," she said. "I am just so tired. I am just so tired of life."

I'm afraid to stay in this house today, y'all. I don't know what's going to happen next.

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msauvage purple

You're not even going to believe this

Today, before 8:30 am: I have no phone because I washed it, the Geek Squad wants to charge us an extra $145 just to come to the house and help with the computer even though we have a contract with them, and then my mother's car died.

11:45: The dishwasher finally gave up the ghost.

Well, technically, it's still clutching that ghost pretty tightly--there's two inches of standing water in it, the dishes are spattered with nasty soap spots, and it's snarling at us. I am not even kidding, it is making actual snarling sounds. So it's not an electrical thing--it's been getting more and more weaksauce over the last few months, and it finally just decided to join the parade of fail today, since all the cool kids were marching in it.

Once shit started to Get Real last night, I basically went into calm fix-it mode because, quite honestly, I had already hit Shock, Denial, Psychotic Tantrums and Helpless Wallowing on the Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief model, so there really wasn't much else to do. Also, the car being inexplicably dead almost broke my mother, so one of us had to hold it together. So this is my plan of action:

1) We are going to buy a new dishwasher this weekend. Surely I'll sell a wheat crop book soon! We'll live like kings, Caroline, automatically dish-washing KINGS!

2) We are taking the laptop back to Best Buy and getting a straight-up refund just to be shot of them, and then I'm going to re-order a Studio 1737 from the Dell site. The Geek Squad will refund their contract as well. There is no question about this. They will. They will be dealing with my mother. They will.

3) A new battery, and my mother's car was fine. So far. I hope.

4) I don't know about a replacement for my phone; for the moment I'm toting the cordless house phone around. I mean, around the house, in case someone in the family has to call me. while I'm here. Which I will be. There's a reason I have an actual "leaving the house omg" tag. When people I'm not related to need to get hold of me, they usually email--which, of course, would be great except that I don't have my own computer at the moment.

5) I'm still cleaning for the electricians to come tomorrow, not because I care what they think of my mess, but because I literally cannot walk across the room without holding on to stacks of boxes to maneuver around them, so I can hardly expect them to REACH my electrical outlets under those conditions, much less replace them. Basically, I'm cramming everything into the closet, tight as a clown car if necessary, and what won't fit in there will go into the attic temporarily. Really, I just want it to look like a normally messy room. And also, at least we'll have that problem taken care of.

(I want to go to bed so badly right now. Yes, it is currently 7:45 pm.)

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