So my internet went out last night around 8:30, and it didn't come back until we spent half an hour on the phone with Charter recreating our network, and on top of that, I felt like hell. So finally I got to have a lie-down, and so I woke up a little after six, and didn't feel like liveblogging but felt kind of bad about it and had half made up my mind not to do it, but... I have Lizzie this year! It ought to be so much easier! I'll be able to face the TV as I write, rather than looking 45 degrees over my shoulder back and forth! And Meryl Streep is nominated! Again! She could easily win! Again! And when she gets up to speechify, you know she'll shitfaced! Again! Can I really bring myself to skip the Drinky Oscars? And the answer was: no. No, I could not. So I am counting on all of you, celebrities out there, who are not on the wagon to be drunk off your ass. Also, starlets, you might consider wearing gowns made of aluminum siding or Saran Wrap or cheese or something. Help me out here.