May 15th, 2010


Robin Hood discussion

Okay. Robin Hood. We have to talk about this. I have a headache, but I'm going to try.

Originally, this began as some weird thing called Nottingham (that was, in fact, the original entry tag I had for news about it), where Russell Crowe was going to play both Robin Hood and the Sheriff, and at one point it was supposedly a multiple personalities thing; there may have been another point when it was just a "one actor, two characters" thing. Then they were talking about just doing the story from the Sheriff's point of view, where Robin Hood is basically this marauding serial killer shooting up the Sheriff's men and stealing all his rightfully-collected tax money (which at least would be interesting and unique, as retellings of the legend go, and probably have a satisfyingly tragic ending), and rumors went around that they were talking about Christian Bale playing Robin Hood. That, obviously, did not happen. Although they probably could have just filmed the on-set brawls that would have broken out between Christian Bale and Russell Crowe and sold tickets to that. This summer, phones will fly! IN 3-D.

What I saw today was, instead, a fairly serviceable "historically accurate" fantasy about a Crusader with a Past, one "Robin Longstride," who wore a hood once or twice and pretended to be married to Lady Secret Widow Marian so she wouldn't lose her land, leading the English to defeat those dirty, dirty French with a rallying cry of "FREEEEEEDOMMMM Liberty by law!" There was lots of stabbing and head-punching and burninating the thatched-roof cottages, which I always enjoy, although Little John was played by Keamy from Lost so that kinda threw me for the entire movie, but on the other hand, the villain (who was... not the Sheriff of Nottingham...?) was Mark Strong, and I'm always happy to see him, so there you go. That is the sane, level-headed version of how I feel about this movie.

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