January 30th, 2011

yahoo oscars bronze

SAG Awards liveblog #4

Ladies and gentlemen! Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis! Okay, it's official: white is The Color. I like Portman's maternity dress better this time than the pink one. Also: GIRL. I really do like Mila Kunis's dress, which is red (running neck and neck with white this evening) and--streamy? Words, I have them.

Oh, also, Black Swan clip. Nobody say anything, I'm not seeing it until Tuesday.

Tim Conway is here to present a lifetime achievement award to the newly 94-year-old Ernest Borgnine. I mean this with all due respect: this is going to be excruciating, isn't it? Although Conway does accurately nail RED as "an AARP action film." We are also reminded that Borgnine was the Oscar-winning Marty, question beloved of disgraced trivia players everywhere. Holy crap, Ernest Borgnine beat James Dean for an Oscar? I'm not saying he shouldn't have, I just... that's... that's a thought. So... wow, Ernest Borgnine has visited every veterans' hospital in America. Please welcome! Morgan Freeman! Wait, what? I'm confused. "Can't see the teleprompter with all of you standing up." Apparently the Italians have a phrase that precisely sums up what it feels like to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from President God, and that phrase is, "Life is what you make it." I don't even know.

@fuggirls: This Lifetime Achievement Award is taking about as long as my entire lifetime.

Okay, I feel less horrible now. Well, no, now I feel like a horrible person again because Ernest Borgnine is more eloquent at 94 than I am at 32. Man, let me be that sharp when I wake up tomorrow morning.

@particleperson: @cleolinda No, that really did take long enough to run down the sun into a red dwarf.

Next up: Justin Timberlake and the Annual Death March of Deathly Death.  



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