January 15th, 2012

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Golden Globes #1

@scottEweinberg: Again, the HFPA is a moronic farce of a critics group. They're asskissers who live to shake hands with Clooneys and such. Remember this plz.

@cleolinda: And also, there's booze and Meryl always gets her drink on and no one gives a shit by the end of the night! And that is why I love them.

@cleolinda: I'm just saying, the Golden Globes are intellectually bankrupt but they also don't make us watch interpretive dance.

"Of the song from Crash with trash cans on actual fire and someone slo-mo groping a Thandie Newton double" is what I didn't have room to say. "Of sad serious music from Holocaust movies" would have also been acceptable. Still, even the truncated point stands.

@ebertchicago: Stars love Golden Globes cuz if they lose it means nothing. Also if they win.

That one too.

Welcome to! The 69th Annual! Drinky Oscars! BA DUH DUH BA DUH DUH BAAAAAA. Collapse )




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Golden Globes #2

I'm still working on the previous entry when Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore come out to introduce Miss Golden Globes (uh) and at first I thought, after a looooong pause, that Moore was totally drunk but then I realized it was just that the teleprompter didn't work, so they bring the script pages up to her. "And this is why we LOVE THIS SHOW!" says Lowe gamely. "When was the last time you did a cold reading in front of Steven Spielberg?" Also, Downton Abbey wins stuff.

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Golden Globes #5

Ricky Gervais rolls back in with a wine glass. "Our next presenter is the Queen of Pop! No, not you, Elton!" You know what's super edgy? Working a bunch of song titles into a Madonna introduction. Madonna is even less impressed than I am. "If I'm still Like a Virgin, Ricky, why don't you come do something about it?" OHHHHHHHHHH. "I haven't kissed a girl in a few years." OHHHHHHHHHHH. Man, everyone is Lol Edgier than Ricky tonight. Collapse )



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