Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

Wow, it's the elusive Orlando Bloom. And he's here, Enunciating Very Loudly!, to present the Aviator clip, despite having... absolutely no link to the movie I can see. Oh, wait! It's elves sticking together, that's what. Oh! And Ian Holm was in it, too! And Howard Shore did the score! Whoa, I didn't realize the movie was actually, like, a stealth LOTR reunion.

Here's Charlize Theron, also gone over to the Dark Side, but I suppose it's for Aeon Flux, so we can forgive her. (Except that Aeon Flux looks pretty bad. SHAME!). Best actor. JOHNNY! JOHNNY I LOVE YOU JOHNNY! Charlize dances around in her dress. You know, the boob dance. Leo wins. Okay, he really was good, I give him that. Leo is very calm and articulate. I wonder if he was expecting this? Well, they'll toss all y'all into the Oscars together, drama and comedy and all, so enjoy this moment, because it ain't comin' around again. Also, he thanks Scorsese. Poor Martin Scorsese. He looks completely and totally used to losing by now. Also, Leo shares the award with his loving and supportive... parents (whither Gisele?) and gives a tsunami shout-out. Respect.

Ah, the Phantom commercial again. I am still sad going to see it again didn't pan out. If it were a food, it'd be, like, caramel corn. For real.

Here's Patricia Arquette from Medium, which a couple of y'all told me was shite, so...woe, Patricia Arquette, and Michael Imperioli. Best TV comedy: probably a dead heat between Arrested Development and Desperate Housewives, knowing these people. Yeah, it's Desperate. Whoa! Entourage was nominated? The Lovely Emily and I watched, like, four episodes of that before we finally just got sick of its utter pointlessness. "I'm Mark Cherry, the creator of Desperate Housewives--" and this giant shriek goes up from one of the actresses, I think? Wow. My dog looks at me and says, "I'm not even translating that." Also: "My mom supported me financially, but she did something even better: she gave me the idea for a hit TV show. Now that's good parenting." Dude! I want to meet your mom!

Here's Kate Hudson. Feh. Apparently Sideways is the most nominated movie of the evening. Hmm. Well, the clip makes it look more interesting than I'd thought.

Here's a very mellow tired Dustin Hoffman with the actress/drama nominees. Hilary Swank? I'll go with her. She gets a huge cheer. Well, so does Uma. Hmmm. And Swank takes it. Well, don't act so surprised--you saw the Eastwood win. I am really starting to think that Million Dollar Baby is the movie to beat this year. It's like people have just given up trying to get Scorsese an Oscar. I sort of faded out here reading the Globes spam comments from y'all, but apparently Hilary is very happy and together and having a good time with her speech. You know, it must be awesome to be someone like Hilary Swank--young, already got an Oscar, career didn't roll over and die, can pretty much do whatever she wants now. She's got nothing left to prove, you know? (Oh God, is she still married? PLEASE thank your husband, Hilary. Don't forget AGAIN. Ah, there she goes.)

What are we down to now, best picture?
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