Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

Oscar entry #2


 

ORLANDOOOOOO! I LOVE YOU! Hee. He is so cute. I mean that literally. Not hot, cute. He says that Paul Newman was his main inspiration. And that Johnny Depp has so much integrity. And then he basically gets shoved off the platform for Kirsten Dunst (heh). I don't like her short, lank hair--you know what they call her on the FT Forums, right? "Dr. Sunken Tits"? Which is not only sort of accurate, but a perfect anagram of her name.

 

OOOOOO TEH CATE. She’s wearing… yellow, hmmm. Nice brooch. I question the yellow, but… ooo, nice draping.

 

Don Cheadle, not embarrassing himself, which is about all you can ask of a guy and his suit. CLIVE! CLIIIIIIIIIVE! FATHER MY CHIIIIIIIIILDREN! The carpet lady sort of talks at him for a few minutes and then he smiles and slouches off…holy shit, what is Scarlet Johansson wearing? My Lord have mercy, her hair—it’s like a poodle with diamond eyes exploded on her head. The black dress is pretty classy, though. Eh. Good show in general, Scarlett.

Ewww, what is this commercial with these women talking about the amazing actresses? Ewww. The joke seems to be that it's actually a tape of a high school reunion full of women who all have famous actresses' names, but invoking "Gwyneth" was a mistake, because I've seen her dress tonight, and.... ew.

Lord have mercy--Penelope Cruz looks good enough in yellow, but the way she says "Ohscarrrrrrrr de la Rrrrrrrrenta!" is--just--wow. Mike Myers: ew. Shaggy, greasy hair and bad skin. Oh, and there's a clip of him presenting back in the day with the late Bart the Bear. I loved that bear, man.

Oh shit, it's about to start. The Chris Rock monologue is going to be hell on my hands.

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