Someone races out to give Rock something--I can't tell if it was his microphone or what, but since he doesn't joke about it, I'm going to assume there was really a snafu. And now Rock goes down to the Magic Johnson Theater to ask about folks' favorite movies. None of them have seen any of the nominees. They saw White Chicks, though. One guy with a hat pulled down over his eyes hilariously is like, "I haven't see that movie, I ain't gonna pretend I did, I ain't gonna front to these people at home." HA! Albert Brooks shows up and it's kind of sad. And then Rock lets people pretend to accept Oscars. The joke here is that all of these people, except for sad Albert Brooks, are black, and not only are the Oscars out of touch with what "real people" like, the black people in question have no taste. I don't want to get all political here but... I don't know. The target seems a little too easy, and a little dishonest.
Scarlett Johansson stands in the balcony and recaps the Sci-Tech Awards. Whee.
James Bond music! Of course it heralds Pierce Brosnan. He's got a bit of a frog in his throat. Oh God, here's the costume people onstage. tecno_fairy! Look! It's your skirt! Oh, Jesus, it had to happen--here's that character from The Incredibles. Jesus, we couldn't let that tired old "animated presenter" bit go, could we?
WHOA. The Aviator wins. Not Snicket? Not Troy? It's so sweeping the awards tonight, isn't it? DAMN ALL OF YOU MAGAZINE PEOPLE WHO CONVINCED ME TO PLAY MILLION DOLLAR BABY IN THE POOL! DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!
Rock introduces Tim Robbins with some crack about "when he's not [something something], he's boring us to death with his politics!" AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Supporting Actress! "Now we know the sordid truth. I sweat, and you're deaf." Man, Cate is so good in that scene. Laura Linney's date is gazing at her adoringly (awww!). Aww, Sophie Okonedo looks so cute! And there's the other scene from Closer that wasn't too profane to show. OMG GO CATE! YAY! She remembers to thank her husband, yay! She thanks Scorsese and finishes her speech with, "I hope my son will marry your daughter." HA!
Weirdly? Shots of Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love are playing on the ceiling. CAN YOU NOT LET CATE HAVE THIS MOMENT, HOR?