LORD HAVE MERCY WHAT IS BEYONCE WEARING. It's like she took the diamond necklace from Moulin Rouge, had three copies made, put them all on, and stole one of Nicole Kidman's giant black ruffly Chanels. Damn. Also, her eyelids are plastered with sparkly black lacquer OMG ACTUAL PHANTOM! I cackled out loud just now, did you hear me? Some guy kitted out as the Phantom led her down the stairs. WWWWWWWTFFFFFFFFF. And then she goes and hugs Andrew Lloyd Webber at the piano--OMG PRINCE! IN THE AUDIENCE PRINCE! I LOVE YOU, PRINCE!
Rock calls for props to Bill Conti and the Sunday Night Live orchestra, if you will. And Rock adds that none of the winners has... tested positive for steroids. Oh, the timely humor. "And here's comedy superstar Jeremy Irons!" What makes the joke is when Irons, out in the audience, says something along the lines of "Finally, some recognition." And then there's a huge random BANG! that sounds like a gunshot and Irons quips, "I hope they missed." Everyone's on the floor. Could not have planned it better, I'm telling you. Best Live Short--"Wasp." A microphone on a stand is brought out to the winner in the audience and she's like, "Wow, I'm not really used to this." Seriously? I DON'T THINK ANYONE ELSE HERE IS, EITHER.
Here's Laura Linney also out in the audience. It's so weird, y'all. I mean, I guess it does save walking and tripping and getting-lost time, but... the presenters look so lost and out of place! Anyway. Best Animated Short: "Ryan."
Kate Winslet! Kate! I love you Kate! I love your dress! Whee! She's here to present cinematography. The Aviator wins. I was actually smart enough to pick this one from the pool, kthnx. Come on, blue golf courses, y'all. Respect. Awww, he dedicates it to his mom, who's been in the hospital for the last forty-five days. Kate Winslet consoles him on the way out. Wow, that sounded dirty somehow.