Rock: "Sean Penn? My accountants would like a word with you." "I really wanted to provide you with a synopsis of all the foreign films nominated this year, but oh, there just isn't enough time. But I totally could, because I went to Spence. " Oh Gwyneth, shut up. Best Foreign Film: El mar adentro, from Spain. Antonio Banderas is like, WHEEEEEEE! Sister Girl tells me that the camera keeps ping-ponging between Banderas and Penelope Cruz. Heh. "Please welcome: Coach Carter! Samuel L. Jackson!" The way the announcer says this, I am totally expecting two people to walk out. He messes up on "original" and cracks up. Heh. Gooooooooooooooooooooooo Sunshine! YUSS! This was Sister Girl's "burning down the theater" category, so this is good. ("You know, burning it down was going to be a lot of work, so... yay!") And we're back. Here's Charlize Theron in a giant fluffy sea-green confection. Best Actor. JOHNNY! JOHNNY I LOVE YOU! "JOHNNY, YOUR CHILDREN ARE SPONTANEOUSLY GENERATING IN MY WOMB!" shouts Sister Girl. Whoa. I mean--wow. I think she wins. Big cheers for Jamie Foxx. And he wins. Sister Girl is unhappy, because she was pulling for Leo--I think. Possibly Johnny. Possibly both of them at once. Ew, I just went to an unhappy sister place. Anyway, I figure this was one of those categories where it didn't matter who won-- someone was going to want to burn the theater down. So here's Foxx's speech: "I guess we gotta do it again. OH-OHHHHHH!" No, really, we don't have to do it again, I promise. Foxx is going on about Taylor Hackford and the deep love and the cracking of the love and the spilling of the love and the drowning in the love. (Look, I think Foxx is adorable and I'm glad he won. But I've got my snark hat on tonight, remember?) Ah, that's his daughter with him. Apparently she said to him, "If you don't win, Dad, you're still good." Awww. Hee, he does a pretty funny Poitier impression. Aww, his grandma told him, "Act like you got some sense. Act like you been somewhere. She would whup me." Awww. (My mother says that, too--"Act like you been there before.") He says his grandmother still talks to him--in his dreams, and he can't wait to go to sleep tonight because they've got a lot to talk about. Also, he wants to meet Halle and Oprah. I think he will get his wish.