ETA: I feel bad that my sister (who's nineteen) isn't as jaded and self-sufficient, for lack of better words, as I am, because my response would basically be, "If you're that superlative a shit, I don't want your punk ass anyway." And I would have said it three years ago, at that.
ETA 2: Hey, it turns out he really did meet someone else... a 34-year-old Army captain. He's 21. Say whaaaaat?
ETA 3: You guys, I forgot to tell you the best part: he broke up with her via email.