Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

Empire 1:1, "Pilot"

Hmm. Well, now that I have the time, it suddenly occurred to me that I should recap Empire. I mean, hey, it's only six episodes, right? Also, ABC would have you know that it is THE BIGGEST TELEVISION EVENT OF THE SUMMER!!, because, judging from the commercials, nothing says "quality TV" like "women wearing fruit."

But they're showing two of those episodes tonight [Editor's note: I started writing this right after the show ended. You'll see what I mean]--that is so much recapping! Woe unto me, what shall I do? So I watched it in a chat room with some fine folks as a means of sort of taking notes. Little did I realize, however, that this is basically fifteen minutes of show in a two-hour bag. Which is still plenty of time to get drunk, if you play the Crap Miniseries Drinking Game, Empire Edition: drink whenever you hear "Hail Caesar!," "...for the Republic!," "protect," and, if you really have an iron liver, anything stolen from a movie. Warning: I am not responsible for the inevitable death by alcohol poisoning if you do this.

They stare at each other moistlyCollapse )

Tags: empire, recaps, tv
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  • Reporting from a sugar coma

    Remember the Wicked Pretty Things debacle? Of course you do. Jessica Verday has now decided what to do with the story she refused to straightwash:…

  • LET THE RENDING OF GARMENTS BEGIN

    In case you missed it: The Secret Life of Dolls (the Dire Capybara seems to have been a big hit). I'm still mulling over That Which We Do Not…

  • So this is happening. All of this is happening

    First of all: in case you missed it, since I did post on a Saturday when everyone was out actually doing things, there is a new Secret Life of…