Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Sunday was hard. I did something I'd been thinking about doing for about three or four months--cut some ties, because I felt I needed to be more 1) independent and 2) realistic. It was hard, and it hurt on both sides. It had something to do with things people were saying, but I didn't do it because people were saying things, nasty or not; I'd been thinking about it anyway. A lot of what was bothering me was what you might call... cheerful misunderstandings... on several commenters' parts over the course of several months. Questions like "What's the deal? Are you together?" and "What's going on with you two?" Only addressed to the wrong people. That kind of thing.

And this is all painfully vague and will probably raise more questions than it answers, and they're questions I don't feel like dealing with, so... go me. But the point is, I did it for me, because I needed to do it, because I felt like I needed to be on my own for a while. At its core, the decision had nothing to do with the gossip or nastiness or misunderstandings of other people. Not that it matters or that the people who need to hear this will understand what I'm saying, but that's the truth, and I want it down on the record: if you want to blame someone, blame me, and blame me for what I felt I needed to do for my own emotional health.

I don't intend on mentioning this again, and I don't intend to answer questions about it. Yeah, I know. But hey, it's my journal.


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