Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

So... Fantastic Four was cute, in a mediocre way. The non-snarky dialogue was awful, in that the characters were always saying the most obvious, clichéd thing possible. That, and there's a weird plot--well, I won't call it a hole, but there's something that Victor wants to ask Sue near the beginning of the movie, and then there's something Sue says to Reed at the end about her and Victor, and you're like, "Wait--what? Then--what crack was Victor on?" (Actual spoiler: >>Victor's trying to propose to Sue but gets interrupted, and then at the end, Sue's all like, "There never was a 'Victor and me.'" Yeah? Well, that big-ass diamond ring he bought for you seems to imply otherwise, Susie.<<) Also? VICTOR VON DOOM. Are you kidding me? I mean, I know that's his name in the comics (I suppose?) but... VON DOOM? Whaaaaaateverrrrrr. Also, the big set piece in the middle, on the bridge, was sort of hilariously stupid because it was like, the Four basically CAUSED everything that happened, in addition to saving everyone from it. And it just kept going on and on and on. And our villain didn't even start villing until the last twenty minutes--which I didn't even mind, really, because this seems to be a movie less about crimefighting and more about what it would be like just to live with bizarro powers (and the attending upsides and downsides), which didn't bother me. What bothered me was that >>they defeated the villain in a fairly brief scene that ended with a huge crowd being like, "Yay!" while poor Victor is left standing as a frozen metal statue in the middle of the street. The whole scene was just kind of... pitiful and half-assed, somehow. It didn't help that I had just watched X-Men on FX the night before, a movie that is also pretty top-heavy with character interaction and backstory, and yet still manages to end with several major action scenes and a climax on the Statue of Liberty. Fantastic Four? Some guy turned into a statue on his very first night of villing. That's just sad, y'all.<<

I basically went to see it because Chris Evans' Human Torch made me laugh in the previews, and Ioan Gruffudd is pretty. Unfortunately, his whole Dr. Dork character effectively neutered him (well, technically I guess the costume people "neutered" him--thanks, dramedy), and he and Jessica Alba had zero chemistry. However, I can attest, even as a straight girl, that Alba (who was actually able to make the blonde work for her in the movie in a way it doesn't work in real life, somehow) is hot. Also, keep an eye out for Marita Covarrubias Laurie Holden as Ben's girlfriend, which was a weird little moment--like, duh, no wonder she left you, Ben; clearly she's getting a little double-agent love from Krycek on the side.

Back to cleaning. I hate cleaning. Argh.
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